Dumb things I thought and did when i was a kid

All of us,thought and did stupid things when we were kids. Here's a list of mine. No criticism allowed.


#1 I believed that Indians got indipendence by beating the crap otta the British and killin' 'em all. No idea where i got the idea from- But i freaked out one day, when i discovered that Brits lived in England. I concluded that other Indians didin't know about it, cause if they did, they'd have killed the rest of the Brits too. Ad yeah, i DID want them to.


#2 I got into a hbit of asking my mom everyday, "dopahar ho rahi hai kya???/ is it afternoon????" I simply couldn't understand what timeof the day was "dopahar"/ afternoon.
Morning was the time you woke up. Evening was when the sun went down. Night was when you slept.
When the hell was afternoon?!?!?!


#3 A lot of planes pass over my house during th night. When we first shifted here, i thought that they were sounds made by dinosaurs who lived in the nearby park.


#4 I also believed for a long time that it became day and night because somebody changed the scene aroundour house, just like they do in plays.


#5 I thought the moon followed me.


#6 I was once very fascinated by how sometimes, it became sunny and shady abruptly. I didn't understand that it was just because clouds passed in front of the sun.
I once asked a senior in school (she was in 5th, i was in 3rd). She smiled and shook her head importantly, "tumhe badi classes mein pata chalega!!"


#7 I tried to smuggle a stray puppy into the house.
My parents (duh) found out (duh) and sent it back (duh).


#8 I thought my brother was an ass. I was wrong. My brother is brainless. Asses have brain (I mean the donkey vala ass, you pervert!!!)

Stupid Things Said

"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter


"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard (Dicky) Nixon


We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca


A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn


We understand the importance of having bondage between parents and their children. Dan Quayle


"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg


"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields


"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."


As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. - Weisert


"We apologize for the error in last week's paper
in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper


"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-Batman costume warning label


"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
-Gerry Brown


"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush


"I was provided with addtional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony


"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine


"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister


"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst


"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel


"I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor


If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
-- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

The Future etc.

Do u want to know your future?
I don't. And i find those people dumb who want to.
Earlier, when I was a kid, I did wish I could've known the future to prevent mistakes and probs from arising later in life.
Now, I've lost that wish. I think I was dumb to wish that.
Its pathetic. I think the future is governed by your actions now. So if you think before you act, your future will be great.
And even if we suppose that the future is already decided and our life depends on fate, I really don't want to know. It'd take all the fun out of life, to know what will happen.
And for that reason, I even hate all those rashi / number / tare / tarot future-telling shows on the news channels. They don't have any news, so all of them have hired a pundit/tarot lady each to tell ur future 5 times a day.
And people actually watch that.
And even call in.
"Meri shadi kab hogi?" Man, find some other aim in life than to get married or to call pundit ji.
"Mera promotion kab hoga?" When you start working hard rather than calling in like a vela on this show.

Idiots.

Then these ppl even give upayes to get a better future, like,
"raat ko, suraj dhalne ke baad, neem ke ped ke neeche beth kar Gita pado" (wtf???)
or "ketu ko majbut karne ke liye kutte ko shanivar ke din roti aur mithai khilaen"

You can try the above amazing remedies if you want.