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Saturday, December 8, 2007

Saat disambar-mera jamndin

The day started with me accidentally squirting my eye with perfume like an idiot and howling in pain. But it wasn't so bad. I didn't spend as much money as i expected as payal (whose birthday is one day after mine,on 8th dec) and i clubbed treats. I paid for the food and she paid for the drinks. Everyone got more than usual and we paid less than usual. And suprisingly,more people,even from other sections remembered my birthday. Not that i mind. The people in my bus sang the birthday song rather drunkedly both times,when going to school and when coming home. On the way back it hurt more as someone remembered about birthdaybumps. Everyone slapped of a dozen times more than sixteen while counting to sixteen. Though noone knew the point of it or how the bumpy tradition of kicking/punching/bumping/slapping started, everyone agreed it was fun.
So much for treating them.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

i hate dripping taps. Presently, the flush tank above the toilet is dripping away. It started dripping in fat drops last night, by itself. Since the plumber couldn't come at nine in the night, and we were afraid the dripping would empty out the water tank, my mom tried to do something about it. Now, its water is falling in sheets! The eat slumber came (why are they fat?), stared and stared, and said some new parts had to be bought and left to buy them. The tank is still dripping away. And the worst part is, i hate the sound of dripping water. Its very irritating.
another thing i hate is the sound of people chewing. That loud, chewy noise is terrible. I've threatened many a times to leave the room/put the phone down he the person doesn't stop chewing loudly or eating. Call it dictatorship or anything, but its terribly irritating.

Friday, November 30, 2007

I'm Too Good.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
*Does a little jig*
I won! I won! I won the poetry writing competiton! I came second. I'd have posted the poem but I actually threw the rough sheet in the dustbin after the competition cause I thought it was horrible and that I wouldn't win, so what's the point.
But I did!
Hahahaha.
Sam had gone for the Geography quiz the same day, but they came last. And I, on the other hand, won. Hahahaha.
I'm tooooooo good. I'll put the poem up when I get it back. I've asked my English teacher for it.


P.S. It was on-the-spot. I'm too good. :)

Unfair, unfair

'Lutyens' Delhi', the term, is used indiscriminately to include the work of all other amazing architects who worked to build Delhi. Only 4 bungalows were build originally by him in the security zone of the President's estate. Robert Tussel built CP, Teen Murti House, the airport in Safdarjung and over 4000 houses, but he's the one forgotten. Funny, eh?
Lutyens actually loathed Indians. He apparently disliked all things Indian. He called Indians niggers and said that they were dark and ill-smelling and that their food was very strange and frightening.
Why then, did this asshole live down in history and have his name attached to a part of Delhi, which mostly others built? Tell me if you know.
I found this out while researching for my history project. So it DID teach me something. Pity that after all the hard work we do, the teacher barely glances at it. Unfair, n'est-ce pas?

Gory Story(/ies)

Gory stories are on an all time high thanks to SOMEONE.
Ever since Someone tried to cut her wrist, everyone has been going around telling stories of blood, gore and love. And those stories aren't very nice cause they're about some people I know and some people from school. It's not nice knowing that they're true.
I myself saw this really horrible thing. There is a guy from the EOK sections in my sculpture class. He's one of those bigda hua kids who never attend classes/pass by the look of it. I don't know his section or name and had never even noticed him, but that day I did. He was fiddling around with the pottery wheel and had his sleeves pulled up so that they didn't get dirty.
That's when I noticed a roundish scab on his lower arm. It was around a centimetre in diameter.
Then I saw more.
Like, literally dozens.
Some were just un-healed sound pale marks, some were proper black-ish scabs. They were present all the way upto where his cuffs were. I wonder if there were more under the shirt.
It was freaky, very freaky. At first, I thought it might be an illness, but I had this gut feeling that it wasn't. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

Kunal went upto the guy and asked, "Kya hua?" I pretended to look away. The guy replied, "Cigarette se kiya."
Eeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!
I felt like puking, so I walked away. Later Heena came and asked if I had seen the guy. She told me what he said after that. He said that "Woh nashe mein tha" when he did it. He used the burning cigarettes to do that.
Eww. Eww. Eww.
Nashe mein? I don't want to know how or why.
And then, Jonaki ma'am told me how another guy, Paras had cut himself with a blade. Ew.
Then Jangu knew about this guy who cut a girl's name into his arm. Like, for real. Too filmy, I thought, to be true. But ma'am supported him and said that it was true.
And then, there's our very own Someone, now officially MWW, or the Mad Wicked Woman. She cuts away for the fun of it (apparently).
Talk about stupidity.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Weird, With a Capital W

Very weird things are happening. I mean, VERY weird things, more weird than the normal weird.
Here's a list-

1) The Earthquake.
I mean, can't it have struck at a better time? I was sleeping so soundly, kya yaar ... It was freaky, we went downstairs from our third floor house. I mean, I was standing BAREFOOT on the road, cause we went down in a hurry. Then I went up to get my slippers and we went for a walk around Munirka. We met a guy taking his dog for a walk (at 4:50!), he said that the dog had woken up a while before the quake and started to bark. The poor dog was still freaked out. A lot of people were on the street. Then we went home and I listened to music until it was time to go to school.

2) The Cooker.
I don't know how, I don't know why, a cooker in our house just fell off the gas. Like, just tilted off. It had been on a low flame for ten minutes or so, when it fell onto the marble floor with a thud. No one was in the kitchen. I have no idea how it happened. I'm just happy it didn't burst on falling.

3) My friend has gone craaaaaazy.
My friend is (apparently) trying to suicide. For some reason. Some hell of a reason it must be.

4) Strange people.
I don't know why a lot of people are getting intimidated by me. They just come up to me and take panga. Here are 3 incidents from today only-

A) A guy just goes up to his friend, points in the direction of Sam and mine, and says some thing to him. He clearly points at me, stares, and keeps on talking. I walk up to him.
Me - What? Are you doing some research or something?
He mumbles something to his friend, who is pointedly looking away.
Me - Didn't your mom teach you it's rude to point at people?
He - What rude? Kya rude? Kahan ka rude? Ye kya rude-rude kar rahi hai?
He looks hopefully at his friend, expecting him to laugh at what he said. Friend pointedly looks away.
Me - You know, tumhari besti ho rahi hai.
I walk away. Loser. Later, he comes up to me, points in my face and goes "Haha", rude". Sam and I lol into his face.
Big time loser.

B) we were standing outside on the stairs leading to the AVH, when a group of guys (who I'd never seen in my life) standing on the skywalk in front of CB yell to me - "Blue Coat!"
I know it was me, cause there was no other blue coat in that area, Sam was missing and there were a lot of green coats around me. They went again, "blue coat! Kitna padte ho!" Then they started yelling "Blue Coat! Blue Coat! Blue Coat! Blue Coat!" in a chorus as if they were cheering. Suddenly a teacher appeared behind them and they shut up.

C) I'd gone to the blossoms seminar room for the poetry competition, but there was no one around except for a couple of sixthies. I don't say anything to them when they just start off. To me, that is.
Kid 1 - Oi!
Kid 2 - Hamare pas permission hai.
Kid 3 - Head mistress ko complain karegi? Ja kar. (???!!!)
Kid 4 - Han han, kar ke dikha.
Kid 2 - Yeh to pagal hai.
They all were saying something as I scanned the room. When I stopped looking and heard exactly what they were saying, I was irritated. How the hell can these sixthies talk to me like this? I leaned forward and slapped the nearest kid neatly on the head. The rest of them shut up by themselves.

5) One of my dreams came true. I had once dreamed of this circular corridor type place with vendors selling pots and things. I seriously saw the same thing in the trade fair, in the UP pavilion! I'm serious!
Well, life is weird.

Dost Dost Na Raha, Mutilated Ho Gaya

Hey, have you ever had a friend who you never thought was freaky, start chopping her hand off?
I do!
Guess ...
All of you know déjà, I know, so I don't have to give her name.
I actually find the whole matter hilarious. I would have been worried too if I was an idiot and I didn't know her well. I trust her enough to know she won't kill herself.
Ok, you think I'm crazy cause I think like this, hein na?
Why do I find it hilarious? Simply because of the way people react to the incident. Even when they really aren't worried they rush up her, make the "haww" face and ask as an obligation what is wrong. As if she'll tell. And that too, to the uncaring people.
Hahahahaha!!!
Then, they begin suggesting strange reasons for her doing it. Here's a list:

1) depression due to Boards/pre-Boards etc. etc.
2) parents scolding her. (OMG, what a reason to die. Come on guys, it's their job and we all not know it. It's not enough to depress her into dying!)
3) ______ not e-mailing her.
4) Anuj/Aditya/AC/DC/some unknown guy leaving her.
5) want of attention
6) lack of a love life

So, what do YOU think the reason is? Take your pick people, the winner will get a blue, sequinned, knee-length skirt!(même for guys).
It was nice irritating her. When people came and asked what was up, I just hinted at some un-probable reason and sat back and laughed my heart out as they irritated her and she desperately tried to convince them that that was not the case.
Hmmm....
I like being mean.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Photos





Some pics by me

Irritayting- all thanks to Rakhi (Sawant)


Declarartion: Adi is obsessed with me.
Ignore the long list of comments by him. I know its difficult to do that since you have to scroll all the way down, but still.
He apparently did that because I called Anuj "rakhi part 2". I meant Rakhi Sawant, but Adi, wanting to assosciate anything I say with himself, thinks I was referring to his mom.(oohhhhhhhhhh.....)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Going by the Law

Okay, here's a list of weird laws which I got from a site. I think a lot of them are made up, but it's nice to think that people can be so idiotic and to disprove that "There's A Reason For Everything" theory. Here it goes (the law is in caps and the one in small letters are my comments) -

Thailand
IT'S ILLEGAL TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE IF YOU'RE NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR. Wonder who checks that...
YOU MUST WEAR A SHIRT WHILE DRIVING A CAR. Why? Because it might distract girls in the other car and cause an accident?

Switzerland
CLOTHES MAY NOT BE HUNG UP TO DRY ON SUNDAY. Because the sight of your undies up on a line may just destroy someone's holiday ...
IT'S ILLEGAL TO FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER 10 p.m. They're planning to suffocate people.
A MAN MAY NOT RELIEVE HIMSELF STANDING UP AFTER 10 pm. Too distracting, eh?

Italy
A MAN MAY BE ARRESTED FOR WEARING A SKIRT. Wonder what the Scots have to say about that ...

United Kingdom
NO COWS MAY BE DRIVEN DOWN THE ROADWAY BETWEEN 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. UNLESS THERE IS PRIOR APPROVAL BY THE POLICE COMMISSIONER. Awww... My cow likes to take long walks in the morning!!
SINCE 1313, IT'S ILLEGAL FOR MPs TO DON ARMOR IN PARLIAMENT. Hey, it's a battlefield out there!
ANY BOY BELOW THE AGE OF 10 MAY NOT SEE A NAKED MANNEQUIN. "Ma'am, your boy's a criminal. You probably cannot imagine what a heinous thing he did today."
A BED MAY NOT BE HUNG OUT A WINDOW. Hey ... that's where everyone normally sleeps!

Alabama
IT'S ILLEGAL TO WEAR A FAKE MOUSTACHE TO CHURCH. Why? Kyuuuun??

Florida
A MAN CAN NOT COMMIT "UNNATURAL ACTS" WITH ANOTHER MAN. Hmmm ... I wonder what they mean ...
IF AN ELEPHANT IS LEFT TIED TO A PARKING METER, THE PARKING HAS TO BE PAID JUST LIKE FOR A VEHICLE. Damn, and I thought getting an elephant would help reduce travel costs. It's even eco-friendly.
IT'S ILLEGAL TO SING IN PUBLIC WHILE HAVING A SWIMSUIT ON. It's a deadly combo. Makes women more enticing and increases the chances of their being raped, don't you know?
MEN MAY NOT BE SEEN IN PUBLIC IN ANY SORT OF STRAP-LESS GOWN. Wonder how they can wear one?

Ohio
MORE THAN 5 WOMEN CAN NOT LIVE TOGETHER IN A HOUSE. Maybe 4 is better than 5...
YOU CAN NOT ARREST ANY ONE ON A SUNDAY OR THE FOURTH OF JULY. How dare you interrupt the hard earned free day of the cold blooded murderer?

California
ANIMALS ARE BANNED FROM MATING WITHIN 1500 ft OF A SCHOOL, A TAVERN OR A PLACE OF WORSHIP. Can you explain that to the animal, please?
NO VEHICLE WITHOUT A DRIVER MAY EXCEED THE SPEED OF 60 m/hr. Okay, if you say so.

Texas
IT'S ILLEGAL TO SELL ONE'S EYE. Awww... But that's how I earn my daily bread!!

New York
CITIZENS CAN NOT GREET EACH OTHER BY "PUTTING ONE'S THUMB TO THE NOSE AND WIGGLING THE FINGERS". My child hood friend will kill me if I don't greet her like that anymore, and just because it's against the law. Sheesh!!
*shake head*