my birthday

7 december
ok. I dunno where to begin.
I'll start from now. Right now, i'm crying, as i predicted around 4 days ago. Then, i felt like crap. I felt lonely and alone and pathetic...And well, like crap. I cried then too, thinking about how i'd be all alone on my 16th bday (ppl couldn't come thanx to the darling phy test- i tell u phy ruins lives...) and feel like shit and sorry for myself and cry.
Wee. I'm crying now. But because i've realised how loved i really am and what an ingrate i am to not realise it and thank god.
Sam and prachi and nripsuta turned up today at eleven-ish with a cake and eatables and the card. I was sitting on the bed, in PAJAMAS and with OILED HAIR and talking on the phone with mansi.
-_-;

Hey, I was going to take a bath when mansi called... :( ,don't blame me
i freaked out. And i was really happy. I ran to my room to change and sat on the bed for 5 minutes to come to terms with what happened. Then, after sam banged on the door, i finally changed and went outside to get a beard of chocolate (i turned into a man on my sixteenth birthday! Unfortunately, not from a boy, but a girl. Fortunately for 10 minutes only.)
we ate. We chatted. They confessed about their conspiracy. How they did it. The planning and the dodging me to get the card signed etc etc
and the card... Its AWESOME. I love it. Sam must have died making it. The amount of effort and detail and work made my heart melt. It also explained Divyanshu disappearing during the eng period when shreya (not ghobi, not dhobi, but section g wali) called him. We teased him all day about it, asking him why he went and talked to a girl whose name he doesn't even kno ("oh ho... FLIRTING!!!"). And seal signed it. He SIGNED NICELY!
The world is weird.
Then sam left *sniff*
then nripsuta's dad came and she had to go.
Prachi stayed till 2. We chatted. We discussed. We looked up phy derivations and even tried a phy experiment (a ring n a bead.Got a bead. Ok. Got a ring. Ok. Wait....Wtf, ring to be 2m long???).
After prachi left, i decided to read sam's letter thing. I'd saved it for last so i could read it aaram se and savor it.
A while later, when i was still reading it, mom walked into the room and just stood there cleaning up the table a bit and looking around. I really started getting irritated cause i was getting senti reading sam's letter and i wanted to be alone for a while. She asked me a few questions and i got more irritated on being interrupted and wished she would leave. I was going back to reading it, when i realised something. This is my mom. She bloody gave birth to me. She's the reason i'm alive and have a stupid birthday. Thus, birthdays should actually be about the kids and mothers. All the importance is given to the kid on the birthday and the mom is sort of forgotten in the celebration. She had been the biggest part of the whole thingy.
Dunno if you get what i mean.
Whatever, i felt like a sore asshole. I looked up to see mom walking out of the room. I ran after her and gave her a big large hug, and mentally slapped myself for ever being irritated with my mom. I then quickly walked into my room to hide my tears.
A few seconds later my mom yelled at me to go have my bath and i couldn't help but smile.

Just made me realise that there are so many things we're not thankful for.
Thanks mom, sam,chi, nripsuta, manvi, vani, shreeda, mansi, nayani, jismi, ankita etc etc.

Boards Shoards

Boards are coming,yeah, Boards are coming,yeah. And you know what? Surprisingly enough, I'm not tense at all, while SOME people are crying and banging their heads with tension.
I dunno why I'm not worried. Lots of people stay up till 3 am and them wake up at 7, to study again. I can't do that, ever! I hate compromising with sleep and I don't ever before an exam, as in, quickly go through the main points and every thing. I've found that it actually confuses me more than anything. I take extra care to sleep on time the night before an exam, and The Hindustan Times agrees with me. Quoting them, darlings -

"Inadequate rest impairs growth and learning and school students need seven to eight hours of sleep a day. Sacrificing sleep time studying is wasted as what is read is not retained. It's only when the brain is well rested that you can retain better."

I also remember reading an article ages ago about an experiment. Here, people were to remember simple patterns of placing cups or something. Like, the blue one comes first, red second, etc. The people who'd slept well remembered the pattern most correctly while the second group,who'd not slept, made more mistakes. It seems that the brain adjusts and arranges info acquired while we're asleep.
After reading that article, I'd made it a point to study facts or things that I found very confusing, in the night, before I went to sleep. Maybe its my imagination, but I those facts correctly now, without any confusion.
Good for me that I'm not worried. My friend's friend says that someone in her school hanged herself. She was a tenthie and an idiot. How can you suicide for marks?
I don't get it. Life's AMAZING. How can you give it up for marks? OK, it may not be amazing to her, but that means that she should try to make it better, not die!
Yeah, maybe it's about aiming. My aim is to study, while enjoying at times too. She probably aimed for more than she could manage, thus overloading.
No one can stand failure, thus the stupid act to ignore your 'failure'. Its all in the mind.
Why take tension? I think its very idiotic. Though it can fuel your will to work harder, too much is er.... not good.