My Class Teacher

My CT is driving me insane. I frankly could have cared less about her, but she has a certain charm that says 'listen to every crappy word !I¡ say you moron or !I¡ will punch the air out of your alveoli !!!'

I can actually list the things about her that put me off-


Thing that puts me off number 1- she lacks any voice modulation skills. She starts off in a soft enough tone and ends up literally barking the notes at you. It really makes me cringe. Its as if she is shouting the lesson angrily at us. I hate ppl yelling. It makes my tummy churn in an unpleasant way.
Eg- 1.1 "write- Kleinfelters syndrome. It is caused due to... *cringe* PRESENCE OF AN ADDITIONAL COPY OF *cringe* *cringe* !X-CHROMOSOME!!!¡ such an individual can suffer from... *cringe* GYNAECOMASTIA!!! - Development of *cringe* BREASTS!!! *cringing hyperdrive*"


Thing that puts me off number 2- her life revolves around the word 'I' and 'me' and 'my'.
2.1 She'll tell you stories about her and her greatness and her power and her stature and her daughters and her life without anyone asking.
Eg 2.1.1- MY daughters are so amazing. MY second daughter is more dedicated than MY first. She studied for medical herself without MY help and got in HERSELF!
2.1.2 YOU don't know what life is. You HAVE to do your job no matter what. Like ME. !I! remember when !I! was pregnant with MY second daughter, !I! went to school EVERYDAY and taught till the very last day. That day, !I! came to school and then went back home and delivered MY daughter that night."

2.2 She will tell you exactly how knowledgable and worship-worthy she is.
Eg 2.2.1 "What? He's in the clinic? Yeah, yeah, !I¡ knew that. !I¡ know everything. MUJHE sab pata hai!!! MUJHE 25 yrs ka experience hai!"
Eg 2.2.1 "Huh? Which chromosome mutation causes leukemia? Oh ya. !I¡ know. MUJHE pata hai. MY brother had leukemia. MAINE dekha hai vo chromosome!!!"


Thing that puts me off number 3- she craps a lot about HER 25yrs of experience, mentioning how knowledgable and great she is whenever she can. She also keeps quoting from her 10yr old withering out of date ncert very proudly, probably cause she'd learnt it off heart. She's the bio HOD, but she still doesn't know the 3yr old syllabi well enough and has to literally read out the text book to us as notes.
Eg 3.1 She draws the diagram to show how chromosomes seperate- "hain? Oh, i drew this diagram from the old ncert. That was one excellent BOOK! Oh, it has one step less than the new book. Wait, *scribbles* here, you can draw this step too if you want...... In the exam, YOU have to draw this step. It is important. MUJHE pata hai. MAINE paper check kare hain for the boards, !I¡ know what they want. DRAW IT!"


Thing that puts me off number 4- Her ability to say crap and get away with it.
Her intro's to repro classes are famous,(she gives intro's due to the princi passing a law that she will not teach repro, probably cause she is perverted. We're taught repro by another teacher.). She is also known to pass a lot of perverted and embarrassing comments. She also knows the art of incorporating perverted-ness everywhere.
Eg 4.1 We're studying about chromosomes of fruit flies. Nothing perverted at all. The CT comments- " They complete their life cycle in 2 weeks and produce a large number of progeny flies. Having kids is very IMPORTANT. If you don't have kids, your marriage will break down. Pyaar-vyaar sab khatam ho jata hai! Kids keep the MARRIAGE TOGETHER! Having kids is a MUST!" er, ok.
Eg 4.2 Intro to repro class by her- "This is not the right time for you to indulge in SEXUAL activity! You are too YOUNG! GIRLS! Keep Boys At BAY!"
Eg 4.3 We study genes. Another innocent topic. "ok. A QUESTION. If the MOTHER has blood group B and the FATHER has O, can the CHILD have AB blood group?" *everyone acts confused* "NO! The child CAN NOT be AB unless he is adopted, or the mother is.... having a chakkar with the NEIGHBOUR!"

Uh, Ok. Thanx for violating my innocent mind.