V-day, come and gone

Another v-day come and gone, and I’m still stuck in this rut.
I don’ have a bf, thinking of turning lesbo
Since I can’t rhyme, I better shut
Up-o.

Oh, don’t look at me like that. I CAN rhyme, but not when miserable, and when the world is intent on torturing me with events such as practicals and valentine’s days. Seriously, till last year, I didn’t give a damn, but this year, it really hits you. You wonder if you’re pathetic cause you don’t have a bf or great because you don’t have a bf for a person you don’t even like.
Blah.
Whatever.
I can hardly like a guy for more than…what? 2 days?
Me no say a word. V-day is meant for people in love.
And I don’t believe in love.
Yeah, yeah, don’t go singing the Dido number. I’m serious.
I don’t believe in love. I would put up my long explanation as to what love is supposed to be, but I’m lazy, so I’ll do it some other time. I don’t believe love exists, just… acceptance and obsession.
If you like a person and accept their flaws, inspite of their imperfectness, its acceptance.
If you like a person and don’t see their flaws, its obsession.
I suffer from obsessions every now and then, and patiently wait for them to wear off. They mostly end in a day or two. At that point, the person seems amazing, capable of anything, a glorious god. When it wears off, I usually find myself cringing at the guy I almost worshipped.
I’m blind then. Just like Romeo and Juliet and other crappy story characters are. When ppl meet and “fall in love” at first site, and say, “there was something about his/her face”, its because you fell for their looks, darling. You were obsessed. You can’t see how pathetic the person may be, just act pig-headed and do stupid stuff (like kill yourself, in Juliet’s case).
It wears off. And that’s what causes “love” marriages to break down, often giving the arranged-married-is-best ppl to be gleeful.
Acceptance is far better. You’re not obsessed, but you can live with the person, without any unpleasant surprises, and know them completely.
Yeah, you could call acceptance “love”, but then…you accept some people, but you don’t exactly want to live with them, or just be with them forever.
So, maybe you could call love a combo of acceptance and liking…but then you apparently “love” your parents too, even though you may not completely accept their flaws or like everything about them.
Yikes. I wrote a sermon, even without intending to. I’ll finish up the argument some other day.

Shutuptimenow.

my birthday

7 december
ok. I dunno where to begin.
I'll start from now. Right now, i'm crying, as i predicted around 4 days ago. Then, i felt like crap. I felt lonely and alone and pathetic...And well, like crap. I cried then too, thinking about how i'd be all alone on my 16th bday (ppl couldn't come thanx to the darling phy test- i tell u phy ruins lives...) and feel like shit and sorry for myself and cry.
Wee. I'm crying now. But because i've realised how loved i really am and what an ingrate i am to not realise it and thank god.
Sam and prachi and nripsuta turned up today at eleven-ish with a cake and eatables and the card. I was sitting on the bed, in PAJAMAS and with OILED HAIR and talking on the phone with mansi.
-_-;

Hey, I was going to take a bath when mansi called... :( ,don't blame me
i freaked out. And i was really happy. I ran to my room to change and sat on the bed for 5 minutes to come to terms with what happened. Then, after sam banged on the door, i finally changed and went outside to get a beard of chocolate (i turned into a man on my sixteenth birthday! Unfortunately, not from a boy, but a girl. Fortunately for 10 minutes only.)
we ate. We chatted. They confessed about their conspiracy. How they did it. The planning and the dodging me to get the card signed etc etc
and the card... Its AWESOME. I love it. Sam must have died making it. The amount of effort and detail and work made my heart melt. It also explained Divyanshu disappearing during the eng period when shreya (not ghobi, not dhobi, but section g wali) called him. We teased him all day about it, asking him why he went and talked to a girl whose name he doesn't even kno ("oh ho... FLIRTING!!!"). And seal signed it. He SIGNED NICELY!
The world is weird.
Then sam left *sniff*
then nripsuta's dad came and she had to go.
Prachi stayed till 2. We chatted. We discussed. We looked up phy derivations and even tried a phy experiment (a ring n a bead.Got a bead. Ok. Got a ring. Ok. Wait....Wtf, ring to be 2m long???).
After prachi left, i decided to read sam's letter thing. I'd saved it for last so i could read it aaram se and savor it.
A while later, when i was still reading it, mom walked into the room and just stood there cleaning up the table a bit and looking around. I really started getting irritated cause i was getting senti reading sam's letter and i wanted to be alone for a while. She asked me a few questions and i got more irritated on being interrupted and wished she would leave. I was going back to reading it, when i realised something. This is my mom. She bloody gave birth to me. She's the reason i'm alive and have a stupid birthday. Thus, birthdays should actually be about the kids and mothers. All the importance is given to the kid on the birthday and the mom is sort of forgotten in the celebration. She had been the biggest part of the whole thingy.
Dunno if you get what i mean.
Whatever, i felt like a sore asshole. I looked up to see mom walking out of the room. I ran after her and gave her a big large hug, and mentally slapped myself for ever being irritated with my mom. I then quickly walked into my room to hide my tears.
A few seconds later my mom yelled at me to go have my bath and i couldn't help but smile.

Just made me realise that there are so many things we're not thankful for.
Thanks mom, sam,chi, nripsuta, manvi, vani, shreeda, mansi, nayani, jismi, ankita etc etc.

i'm drunk right now

Hello ppl. I'm here to declare my ...er... undying love for adi cause i have nothing at all to do to entertain myself. You see, the Arse has been app ignoring me, and i've been doing the same to him, and didn't care until today when i went through my blog.

I miss him. :(

I miss his darling snappy comments. Me making fun of him in public. Insulting his ugly face and his son.
I didn't care till today. Now i realise pissing him off was so much fun and wonder why i didn't miss it before.
I'm a sadist, i know, but irritating him gave me infinite pleasure.
Even now, reading through his terribly mean comments, i can't help but laugh and smile at my witty comebacks and derive pleasure from the insults he recieved from me in the past.
Aw.
*sniff*

i miss u adi

can't u come and quarrel with me one last time. just for old times sake?

woohoo?

....So, i thought i'd lost my botany notebook and i went to the lost and found during the break between the coaching classes to search for it.
Manvi pulled on the handle of the door of the tiny lost and find room to realise that the door was locked from the inside.

We knocked.
We waited for five minutes.
We looked at each other.
We started laughing crazily.


Why? Well, imaging a REALLY tiny dark room. Put two guys in it. Add weird muffled noises. Close the door from inside. Add dirty minds.
What do you get?
Some really strange ideas.
As we waited we could hear weird muffled male voices. The door opened around 10 minutes later, and i couldn't help wondering why. And it was opened hz this guy, while another guy stood in a corner.

And yeah, i almost forgot...

The guy was buttoning his shirt as he opened the door.

Woohoo!
(you'll understand the double meaning if you play sims 2)

I think I saw blood

Pushpanjali died.
On 27th, wednesday.
Some time between 3:30- 4:30
I found out about the matter in the bus after coaching. Megh said it might be murder, which caused me to laugh. The general news was that a girl cut the grill of the room window and jumped. No one knew who it was, but everyone was guessing. I found out her name when prachi called me to talk about the matter. She heard about the matter on tv. I went to watch tv too and find out more when harshit called. He was the one who confirmed that she had jumped from the bathroom window after authog the grill (the news channels had been confusing me by making up stories of her falling of balconies). He also told me that she was in C. I was really happy that i didn't know her as i knew i'd be depressed if i did.
No one had a clue why she suicided. She got almost full marks in all subjects. She was damn intelligent. Apparently, she was stressed.
The whole atmosphere was tense in school the next day. There was an assembly for her. People who didn't know her came and said that she was a beautiful child (that was divya)
All the head boys and head girls and a couple of more appointees, and the reps, the warden, the CT and the vice princi's were forced to say something about her. Almost all ended their speech (2 liners) with 'may her soul rest in peace'. The line got on my nerves after the first 100 times.
Ppl from C cried that day. Ppl in my class who knew her (quite a few, as 90% of my class are hostelers), were depressed. I was in a bit of a sucky mood too. I found it hard to maintain my usual happy 4 no reason mood.

And of course, the matter about me and sam maybe having seen blood didn't exactly improve my mood.
On wed, after coaching, i and sam went to get ice cream from the OAT vala area. There we saw that the ice cream shop was closed, so we loitered around there only. Then, i saw this puddle of something red. It was dry and shiny, like the paint on metals. I thought it was paint, and went 'ooo, dekho, dekho, khoon!'
and sam was like, 'haan, lagta hai koi mar gaya...'
and we generally crapped around.
On thursday, when we went to that area again, there was no sign of the puddle having existed.
Creepy.

Getting Dreamy

I had a dream about a snake last night. A freaky, long, fat snake.
It freaked me out so i searched on the net about what it might mean. I found a couple of Dream dictionaries online so i searched a couple of things that i have dreamt about. The OR means that the next meaning is from another dream dictionary.


SNAKES
Snake represents hidden fears. Snakes can also symbolise the poisonous words and innuendo of the people around you.
OR
In some cultures, snakes are highly regarded and symbolize the ability to transcend into higher levels of consciousness or into areas of knowledge that exist outside perceived time and space.
Snakes emerging out of the ground may represent your unconscious or repressed materials coming to your conscious mind.
In the long run... The snake may be a positive symbol, it may represent difficulties that lead us to the center of personality and result in feeling of completeness.
OR
In Asian cultures, the snake is a symbol of wisdom in the form of earthly knowledge. If one dreams of snakes from this perspective, it is a dream of renewal, problem solving and good tidings in general.

Superstition- it was believed to see a lone snake and feel threatened by it in a dream means that you have a bad enemy that is working against you, it is also a warning against bodily harm from an enemy.


STORMS (I have dreams about storms quite regularly)
Dreaming of a storm represents disturbance. How you feel about the storm may indicate how you're responding or dealing with a disturbance in your waking life.
A storm is also a symbol of commotion. You might be feeling what is happening around you is out of control.
Also consider the storm as an outburst. It may represent an emotional flare up in your life that is quick to pass.
OR
To see a storm in your dream signifies overwhelming struggle, shock, devastating loss and catastrophe in personal affairs. It also represents unexpressed fears or emotions like anger, rage, turmoil etc. On a positive note, it may also mean the rising of spirit within


MURDER (i had a freaky dream in which i murdered a guy i didn't even know)
To dream that you killed someone forewarns that heavy stress may cause you to lose your temper and self-control.


DEATH (I've had seperate dreams of me, sam, my bro and my parents dying)
To dream that you have been killed suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions.
It may also represent a part of you or your life that you wish would leave you alone and stop creating a nuisance.

Death of a loved one suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality the loved one embodies.



I couldn't find anything on BOULDERS FALLING FROM THE SKY, a dream which i've had quite a few times, or about HAIR IN FOOD. I dreamt that just once, but the whole thing was so disgusting i can't forget the dream. I stopped having falling dreams about a year ago (thankfully, they suck and symbolize insecurity or something). I also couldn't find anything on a FREAKY, HUGE, DULL SUN NEAR THE HORIZON.
My dreams are plain freaky.

Adi is an ass, Part 3

Ok, this the convo I mentioned in the last post.


11-08-08 14:33 Sam: Yer right though. I wouldn't have gone in even halfway without Prachi ...
14:55 Adi: Yea. Does she hate nature?
16:37 Adi: Nice to see you reply to my messages.
16:44 Sam: Ah sorry I was sleeping. No she doesn't.
16:47 Adi: If nature did that to me, i'd be furious. You know she was sitting on a chair, and her feet didn't touch the floor.
18:32 sam: I think Nature made up for that.
20:30 Adi: Maybe. But i'd still call it an unfair tradeoff.
20:45 sam: You rather be tall dark and handsome with vacuum inside?
20:49 Adi: You'd rather be as short as a cricket bat and look like a thousand volts of electricity are coursing through you?
20:54 sam: And be decently endowed with gray cells? Yes.
20:54 Adi: Wow. To each his own i suppose. Personally, i wouldn't want to be that far down the ugliness scale.
23:06 sam: Whoa! No way! You don't know what ugly means. You're hardly one to speak anyway.
23:08 Adi: And nor are you. In all truthfulness.
23:10 sam: Yeah, LoL. I'm not interested in being a model either.
23:12 Adi: Wise decision.
23:12 sam: What's depressing you so much these days though?
23:12 Adi: Nothing of your concern.
23:14 sam: Aha! So I got it right. Something IS depressing you. That's reassuring.
23:14 Adi: Yea something is. I never denied it. It's probably beneficial in the long run, but right now it's depressing. And not just to me.
23:16 Sam: Don't worry. It'll be beneficial in the long run. Just don't get it out on others.
23:17 Adi: That would be upto me. And i don't think you understood what i meant by beneficial.
23:18 sam: Maybe I don't. So?
23:18 Adi: So it wouldn't be wise to assume that you do.
23:22 sam: I didn't. I just copy pasted what you wrote.
23:23 Adi: You assumed you knew. By pasting what i wrote. So don't.
23:23 sam: I didn't assume. Anything. I just asked you not to take it out on others.
23:25 Adi: That was the other sentence. Maybe you should read that message.
23:30 sam: Whatever you say boss.
23:32 Adi: Sure.

Adi is an ass, part 2

Ok, so this sms convo started when adi smsed sam saying that prachi is as short as a cricket bat. So, i smsed him regarding the same.
Here it goes...


Me-As short as a cricket bat? You long as a hairy street light! You waxy ear-hole! you bhusa brained cow! you father of your neighbours dog!

A-you'd think i insulted you by what you said.

Me-What is your problem with her? She's such a sweet girl! I know ur jealous, but had hoti hai! Why have u been acting so weirdly?

A-Shut the f up prince ass. Or i might have to do stuff you'll presently come to regret.

(note- here, i get into the 'sympathetic, i-know-you-have-a-prob-and-i-pity-you' mood, cause i know it irritates him)
me-Oh come on, what IS your prob? Something is wrong. Temme. U've been acting weird. As compared to the usual weird.

A-And you're right. She's not as short as a cricket bat. She's shorter. Her secret mysterious boyfriend must have brain damage.

Me-so, there is something up. Tujhe kisi ne kuch bola kya?

A- there's a lot i'm not going to tell u

Me-Well DUH! But y r u venting ur anger on us? Its not lyk ur ttlly vela or a totl sucker,but u've been mean a lot of tyms 4 no rsn.Its even Not d funny mean. Y?

A-f off

me-You're being so mean n u're not sarcastic or funny nemore and behave like an idiot. Y?

A- i'm not sarcastic. I'm deadly serious.

me-Exactly. U used to be. And u used to b irritating, but fun to b around. Not boring or mean. Now you are. Y?

A- Enough. Leave. Me. Alone.

Me- answer me.

A- not in this lifetime.

Me- what is up with you?

A- Bye.

Adi is an ass

Yellow.
Here's a sms convo btw me n adi that took place this morning. I put it up cause it so damn funny....

10:40 adi- i am I'm exempted! Woohoo!

10:54 me- Relax. I already know that. Quite flaunting. Go drown yourself. And take ur phone with u or delete my pics.

10:56 a- Oh ya. Your pics. I forgot all about them. I'm gonna post them all over facebook by evening.

10:57 me- You're doing nothing of the kind. I know you're obsessed with me, but yeh to had ho gayi...

10:58 a- watch me

10:59 me- Won't. ur too bhayanak. I'll have nightmares tonight.

11:00 a- ok then. You can always see your pics.

11:02 me- Oh, i know i'm looking cute in them...

11:02 a- yea. Like my dog.

11:03 me- your dog looks like you, not me.

11:08 a-You've never seen my dog. If i didn't know better i'd say he was your twin. Same intelligence level too. All he does is fetch.

11:10 me-I haven't seen ur dog, but i've seen u. u look a lot like a dog. And i've heard ppl say that ur dog is more intelligent than u, and it taught u to fetch.

11:12 a-Yea. And i don't have a dog. So go clean out those centuries of wax. Half wit.

11:12 me- the NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to the nearest hospital to be put down. We apologize for any inconvenience.

11:15 me- yeah. And you can't even fetch. You're too dumb to be able to do even that.

11:17 a- Now that i come to think about it, my neighbour has a pug that looks exactly like you. Are you sure it's not your sibling or something? I mean, it would fit right in. No one would ever make out the difference. Ever.

11:18 me- i heard he's your son.

11:19 a- oh no. I don't believe in polygamy. He's really your sibling.

11:22 me- Don't try and disown that poor little son of yours!!
*horror* aaj kal ke ma-baap, zimmedari lete hi nahi...

11:24 a-I don't much want to adopt your sibling either. He's too much like you. Way ugly.

11:28 me-Come on... Don't say that about your real son. Kitna bhi ugly ho, hai to tumhara beta hi na. Must have got his good looks from you.

11:30 a-He's your sibling. I do NOT have the misfortune of being your father.

11:33 me-But you are fortunate to have a beautiful son like him who has the misfortune of resembling you. He needs you. Don't deny him.

11:35 a-No. He needs you. So he'l know he's not the ugliest person in the world. Then he has something to be grateful for.

11:38 me-Yup. He needs me to get his ugly father to accept him, and show him where he got his pretty face 4m, so he can sigh with relief-"atleast i'm not as bad as dad"

11:39 a- he's your sibling. I'm not your father 1+1=2

11:43 me-He's not my sibling. You're his father. 2+2=4

11:44 a-I'm sorry to break it to you, but he is your shaking. The resemblance is uncanny.

11:45 me-He is your shaking??? Go to hell. I'm not replying anymore.

11:46 a-Lol. Sibling. Haha. My ribs hurt from laughing so hard.

11:53 me-Dis is a telephone terrorst team.Wyl recievng dis mssg a virus wll b activatd. Dis virus shld hv infctd ur phone by now. ur phone wll b disabld,unlss u r ugly.

Survey

"Subohi",he said "you're arrogant, you know."
"huh?!? Kaise?"
"Jaise tu behave karti hai na, usse."

Thats it.
Such a small conversation. And it made me go crazy for a week. I went around asking people if i was arrogant or not.

Here's the result of the survey.
Ppl asked- lots
Ppl who answered in negative- almost all
Ppl who answered in positive- 2

Ok. So most answered in negative, either because they're too nice or i am.


The 2 ppl who answered in positive were-

Meghavarshini- yup, our darling tomboy.
She said "Jitna hona chahiye, utni hai. Its not like you won't talk to ppl and be stuck-up, but you also don't behave like a wimp." (this is in my words. She was speaking in Hindi and i forgot what exactly she said) "But you're not that arrogant. If you were, you wouldn't have been worrying about it now, or thinking about it."

Prachi- Our darling cute-but-damn-intelligent-little girl.
She said, "You are. And maybe its a good thing you are. You don't take any crap from anyone."


Well, i have to say that i'm flattered. I asked the guy what exactly i did to make him think i was arrogant. He has promised to tell me the next time i act arrogant.

And yeah, IF i am arrogant, hell yeah, i'm proud of it.



Faltu ka info-
our team name for interrobang (for which we qualified second, but didn't win) was My Foot, thought by who else, but your footness, Poison.
It was pretty dramatic, the announcement.
Ishan goes, "And the second team to qualify with 10 points is.... My Foot!"
and everyone looks around silently,wondering whats going on and what he means. No one claps.
We were silently high five-ing and getting up when someone finally spoke, realising that its a team name, "yeh kaun hai?"

Faltu ka info #2-
This ad on Hit 95 fm has me laughing everytime i hear it.
"What is your idea of a great time?" voice A asks
"A great time? Just give me a TIGER, and i'll have a TIGER TIME!"
then voice A informs you how "you too can have a TIGER TIME at any of these tiger parks!"
Yeehaw.