The Crib Basket- Private Peeves

Antu Pandey - My New Baasht Fraand.

2009-09-24T13:31:00.002+05:30

Yaaaaaaaaaay!!!!
I have new penpal and now he's my baasht fraand!!!
Well, you really can't help but be impressed by his impeccable English. :P

Hi
Thanks
Having known your brief acquaint in the internet penpal site I became very glad and my ego compelled me to write you soon. Here is my brief acquaint I am Antu(M), 20yrs old from India having keen interest towards true friendship. If you are having the same towards friendship, please communicate your message without any deceit so that we both can be able to prepare the grand edifice of friendship under each others good look. According to me friendship is the boon of the almighty God so we must share ours innermost lovely feelings on the page of each others friendshi. I want to write much more but not now cause I am your would be new friend and may be you can feel any wrong towards my amibility. As soon as I will receive any respond from your side I will appear again before you. One request more if you are having trust towards my friendship only then write otherwise why will you devote your precious moment towards my amiability. You must devote your precious moment towards your creative work. If possible please attach your picture for my appease cause it will encourage me in fondling your comity. Rest episode would be after you. Staring patiently for your hasten reply

Antu

Who Knew?

2009-09-22T23:03:00.004+05:30

It was the talk of the town.
He was 16, she was 15, and no one could believe it. They couldn't believe that she was his friend. That she *talked* to him. The thought itself was nauseating. Maybe he has blackmailed her or done some black magic. Who knew?

She was the darling of the town. She was nice to everyone, extremely soft-spoken and sweet. She was always generous with her sweets, was always the first to offer a helping hand - who wouldn't love her?

He, on the other hand, was more of a social outcast. No one really knew anything him and preferred to stay away from him and his problems. He always turned up in school in his crumpled and yellowing school uniform. He rarely talked to anyone and sat alone in his corner seat in class, from where he watched his dream girl - Lila - the class monitor. It was a different matter however that Lila never had a look to spare him.

Everyone likes order. This was the order of things - he was in his corner drooling over a blonde, and she was with her friends being Ms. Perfect. Then she threw everything into a tizzy. And the world crumbled.

***

It was recess. Everyone went out to play except him. He always stayed in class, probably because playing required interaction with humans, which he liked to avoid at all costs.
She stayed behind too. Some people who saw them through the class window said she went and sat next to him and started talking to him. Who knows what she said - they couldn't hear anything. She must be saying something very important. They noticed that he didn't say a word to her. Not one. He just kept looking at her emotionlessly. When asked later about the incident, she refused to say anything. This made people suspicious but they all preferred to forget the embarrassing incident.
But then next week, in recess, she did the same thing again. And the next week too. And he never opened his mouth.

Till the fourth week went by. By now, he had even begun to show emotions like frowning and raising eyebrows and suppressing a smile. And she continued to talk to him like this.
Who knows why she did it? Didn't his crumpled clothes and neatly parted hair bother her? Didn't his emotionless face make her want to run away?

On being asked why she bothered with him, she just smiled brightly. "Because I like him." It was a ridiculous lie and no one believed her. Who knows why she really did it? - Except for her, of course.

***

It started when I was 8. I remember it clearly. I was doing my homework - writing a passage on 'My Mother', when I first heard the voice - "Water!" it said.
I looked around. No one there.
Then I heard the voice again. "Water. Water. Water. Water..." it repeated. I freaked out.
I searched everywhere but couldn't find the source of the voice.
Now it was calling someone an idiot. Then it was wondering about a voice in its head.
It was rather fascinating.
At this point, you can see that even at that afe, I was a bit nutty as I am now. A normal kid would have cried. He's gone running to Mommy. An abnormal like me said, "Hello" and heard a "hello" back.

So that's how, at 8 years of age, I discovered I had a mental connection or a channel with someone who was as nutty as me because even he was totally okay with it. Actually, it all seemed very natural, as if that is how it was meant to be. He thought so too.

Let's just skip over the next few years to age 11.
In this 3-year gap, we skip over him refusing to tell me his name because I could be an evil monster. His mother had told him that monsters could harm you only if they know your real name. So he gave himself a nickname - 'Tim'. I called myself 'Jim'. We also skip over me being excited and telling him all about my life. And how he slowly also starts to open up and I discover he lives at an orphanage. That he likes chocolate a lot and hates PowerPuff Girls. It also involves skipping the millions of times I would zone out because I was thought-talking to him and thus was labelled the 'day-dreamer' in class. It involves me laughing at random times because he thought-said something funny.
If I wasn't nutty, people would have found it weird, but because I am, they thought it was cute. I have no clue why people think I'm so perfect. I'm not. They get vague ideas from stuff they've heard and they think they know you. They're all morons.

***

At age 11, we learn to control our thoughts. I can completely block out my thoughts so he can't hear them. It's a relief, but I'm also wistful, because I like listening to his thoughts. Also, I wonder if we'll talk all that much because he's such an introvert. Till now, I don't know any specifics about him - his real name or the name of the orphanage or the name of the city he lives in. I realize that people think very little about their own name or where they live. Or atleast people like me and him do. I found it unfair that I told him everything but he didn't - he DID share what was more important to me though - his feelings. Well, he couldn't have avoided it anyway, but still - he liked talking to me about his feelings rather than specifics about his life and I appreciated that. I knew the pain he felt when someone talked about his dead parents. I knew the anger and hatred he felt towards the other orphans at the orphanage. They teased him and called him names. They took his stuff. Ate his food. Hit him. He fought back and came back hurt.
Whenever he talked, my breath hitched. Why would anyone hit anyone else? It was horrifying. Something in my heart twisted when I thought of him sitting in a corner, crying.
In the middle of class, I would get sudden bursts of anger, mixed with sadness, humiliation , regret, irritation and mostly, mostly hatred towards the world. I would start crying myself. My friends would comfort me too. I t felt unfair - I had all of these people and my parents, and he just had me. But I was also proud of my position in his life. I promised myself that I'll always be there for him - his internal support.

So this is how it was for 3 years - after that, we learnt how to control our thoughts, as I've already told you.
It felt weird to not have his random thoughts ringing in my head, but nice too. We started a new ritual of talking at night before bed. We'd talk about our day. Well, I would talk about mine. At this point, he starts closing up. I'm hurt, but I can't blame him. He generally talks about what he learnt at school, not about the boys or about his feelings. Just fake, superficial things and I'm hurt.
I still don't know his name. He knows mine.

Over the next 4 years, our relationship degrades more and he shuts off almost completely. We talk only when needed. Like when I want to know the capital of Atlanta. For most of the time, I don't even remember I'm linked to someone.
Truthfully, we are not linked at all.

***

I'm 15 now and my class has been shuffled. I'm excepted because it means new friends and new teachers.

It's the first day of school and I meet up with my friends. But that doesn't matter. Let's skip to the important part.

I walk into our new class and find it completely empty. Then I notice a boy sitting alone in the corner and I pause. My friends move past me and pick seats for us and motion me over.

But I'm still staring at the boy and he's staring back at me. Have you looked at someone in the eye for a long time? Usually, it makes you uncomfortable and you look away after a while.
I don't.
Neither does he.
He's looking at me directly in the eye and I'm looking at him too. I don't know what I find to fascinating, but I really can't look away. My heart thuds in my ears. I don't *want* to look away. I'm not uncomfortable.
Neither is he, I know.
We're both nutty.
I think I know who he is.

Then he looks away and I finally notice something other than his eyes. Like his neatly parted long hair, that is fallling into his eyes. He's a little taller than me and rather lean. He's got bags under his eyes and his uniform is crumpled and yellowing.

I walk away finally.
My friends tell me to stay away from him. He's a freak. They laugh. Have you seen his clothes? Have you seen his hair? He has no friends! He's so weird.
One of them tells me he's obsessed with Lila, a girl now in our class. They were both in the same class for the past 3 years and he likes her. Everyone knws.
Also, he's a freak. He rarely talks, sucks at studies, and hates Harry Potter (as he mentioned in one historical English class - historical because he actually spoke. He said, "I hate Harry Potter.")

Point is, everyone hates him. He is, what you call, a loser.

Oh yes, his name is Teobeth. Or Teo for short.

***

I'm pretty sure Tim is Teo, but I don't know if I want to find out. Anyway, what would I say? I'll look like a complete retard if it isn't him.
And I don't think I want to be associated with him.
Yes, I do care about what other people say, okay? You know you do too. You're just not willing to admit it, so I am superior to you. Ha!

A week passes and my mind is in a tumult. I keep thinking about whether I should approach him or not. I imagine the variety of ways in which I could do it and the possible reactions and results in my mind. I replay them all the time.
I make up my mind. I will talk to him, atleast to stop this thinking.

After school, just as he's about to walk out of class, I open our link so that he can hear my instantaneous thoughts.
There is a whooshing sound in my head like the one when you open a dusty, empty tunnel after a long time and air rushes into it.
And I thought-scream, "Teo!"
And he turns.
He turns. He turns. He turns. And he sees me.
Teo is Tim. Time is Teo. I know. *You* know.
Tim turns and goes out of class quickly. I think he understood what just happened. I think he knows who I am.
I don't know whether I should be disappointed or overjoyed that I found Tim. It used to be my fantasy - to meet Tim finally and be best friends with him.
It died out years ago - my fantasy and our ritual of talking.

***

I go Googling that evening. I google 'mental connections.' I read. There are a variety of explanations for these conenctions. There is one I like: it says that they connect soulmates. Soulmates are meant to meet. If something happens so that they don't, these connections develop. Cool, isn't it?

***

The next day, I find myself following Teo with my eyes. I'm constantly watching him and his moves. He's watching Lila. He's always sitting in his corner, watching her.

***

A week later, you can say I'm seriously obsessed with him.
He's hot. I don't know what I like about his hair, but I just want to run my hand through it and make it all messy, destroy that horrible parting.
And his eyes. There is always this little gleam in his eyes as if he knows something you don't. And the bags under his eyes make me wonder what he's upto. My mind finally begins to connect Teo with Tim and I finally connect a face with all the thoughts, feelings, hopes, and aspirations I know.
It feels strange to thing I knew Teo so intimately. That it was him. The one suffering at the orphangae. All that hate was his.
And all I want to do is hug him. He deserves friends. He deserves Happiness. He's not weird. Atleast, not any more than any of us.

***

i don't know how, I find myself following him to the orphange after school. He doesn't look back so he doesn't see me. Then he stops and sits on a bus stop.
Shit. I don't have money to get on a bus.
But I wat. Just to see which bus he boards so I'll know where his orphanage is. I know, I could have asked someone at school, but no one knows anything about him. No one even knows that he's an orphan.

So I'm hiding in a bush, waiting. He's sitting on the stop and reading a book. I wait for 15 minutes, half an hour, an hour.
I'm sure all the buses of this freakin town have passed by this stop twice atleast. It's dark now. What is he doing?

Then I see him stoop down and pick up his bag.
He takes out a blanket.
He lives HERE??

***

I'm so angry and sad and annoyed at the same time. Tim is living on a bus stop? The poor guy. How did he end up there? The sweet guy! He listened to me so patiently. He doesn't deserve this shit.
I hate everyone at school who ever made fun of him. I hate him too.
For cutting me off. Well, it wasn't his fault entirely, but he should have told me, asked for help when he needed it. I was his friend. I was to open our channel and blast my anger at him.
I want to hug him when I think of him sleeping on the bus stop in his tattered blanket. All alone. With no friends to talk to. No family.
Does he have any money? How the hell does he live?
I hate myself.
I haven't bothered to thought-talk with him for more than a year!

I'm sorry Tim.

***

I come to school with my mind made up that I'll talk to him.
By watching him for the past week, I know that he doesn't go for recess.
I don't go either.
I go upto him and he watches me calmly. I'm burning up inside. I want to know what he's thinking. It's so frustrating I want to scream. Instead, I sit and I talk.
Opening the channel would be easier, but I don't want him to know I've been watching him.
So I talk. I say nothing about the past or ask him anything. I just talk. I tell him what I've been doing for the past year, since we lost touch. I talk about the teachers, my best friend, my life and other totally random things just like we used to earlier. And he just sits and listens. He doesn't say a word.
I keep talking, filling up the place with words so that there's no space between us. He just keeps looking at me in the eye.
The bell rings. I smile and say bye and go.
He looks at me for a while, then starts watching Lila when she enters the class.

***
I do this the nest week too. I talk about the whole week and my dog and my favourite fruits and random things, just like I did years ago. And he listens like he used to. He doesn't say a word. The bell rings and I go.

It's English class now. I'm frustrated. Why doesn't he say a word? Should I confess about my stalking and ask why he lives on the bus stop? Something tells me he won't reply.

Oh fuck. The English teacher just asked me something. I don't know what. I was busy thinking of you-know-who. I don't know the answer and I don't know what she asked and I'm standing like a dunce as she waits for me to answer, looking expectantly. And

then, a voice sails through the sky and hits me on the head with a *thunk*. It says, "John Keats." *Inside* my head!
I say, "John Keats."
What a relief. The teacher tells me to sit and continues droning.
And me? I'm exploding with happiness.
The channel is officially OPEN!!

He finally starts thought-talking. Monosyllables initially, whole sentences later. It's like when the channel first opene. So I know soon enough hw'll open up completely. So I talk and wait.
The recess thing is like a ritual now. I talk a lot. He just thought-comments. A week later, we start meeting in the breaks too.
My friends thing I'm going nuts and advice me to stay away. I know people are talking, but I know they're snobs.

But I know he doesn't like it, so we start going up to the terrace of the school. That's when I notice he doesn't get any lunch. So I share mine with him.

he's talking a lot more now. Like, in multiples of lines. He tells me about people he doesn't like. Agrees or disagrees with me.

Adds a line or two to what I say. COmments on what I say. We thought-talk in the middle of the class too, and my friends wonder why I'm so dreamy all the time, watch me as I expand with happiness.
I, I'm content just babbling and looking at him. I love the way he keeps looking at me continuously in the eye. It seems as if I actually think about what I' saying, but I don't. I'm on autopilot. My mouth talks as my mind absorbs his smile (did I mention he smiles now? It's a weak curve of the lips, but it makes me - oh forget it!). So I stare at him, savour his eyes, his face, his expressions and his few words and how his lips curve as he talks.
I would say I'm content, but I'm not. He still sits at the back and watches Lila. His eyes dig into her back.

I asked him about her. He swallowed and said she was pretty but he really doesn't care.

Oh, I know better than that, Teo.

***

I finally ask him about the orphangae. Its 3 months since we first met and we're so close, he's ready to open up. We could be best friends. Or even more. But he likes Lila. He hasn't admitted it, but he mutters incoherently whenever I ask him.
I asked him why he doesn't ask her out and he just raised an eyebrow at me. I'm so stupid. We know better. She and everyone else thinks he's weird and has done black magic on me. Shit heads.
So anyway, I asked him about the orphanage. He paused for a full minute. Then he told me everything.

Everyone was horrible to him at the orphanage. He was beat up constantly, his things were stolen, the food sucked, and he was tired of everything. So a couple of months after we stopped talking, when he turned 16, he moved out.
No one cared.
He just told the manager he was leaving and the guy just asked if he was going to attend school or not.
So the orphanage is still paying for the schooling, but he works after school at the shopping center to support himself. He uses the restroom at the shopping center to bathe. He washes his clothes at the local laundry.
He has got the school to give him the money the orphanage pays them for the extras (sports, transport, etc.).
That's why he doesn't go for recess.
He works. He doesn't get time to study. His belongings fit in his backpack.
Something is shattering inside me as he tells me this. I see from his face that he's happy to get this off his chest, to tell someone.

I hug him.

***

I drag him to my house after school. I'm shaking with excitement. I go to my room and open the window facing the backyard. He climbs in through it. I lock my door and draw the curtains so that my parents don't get to know. I sneak him food. Then we do our homework together.

He stays for the night.

***

It's a ritual now. He sleeps here. In my room. On my bed. With me. It's a fact. He comes everyday after work, through the window.
Can you imagine what this is doing to my head? How it's making my heart wrench?
I'm dying here. You know why?
Lila and Teo just went for lunch. It's Sunday, his day off from work. He and Lila are going on a date.
And then he'll come back and sleep on my bed, with me, a person who he doesn't even like. I want to tell him I like him. But I don't.

Ask me how I feel. Wouldn't you die too? Don't you know my heart jumps whenever our arms brush? My heart flutters whenever he looks up at me with that shy, nervous smile.
Do you think I don't freak out when I realize that the guy I'm crazy about is sleeping a foot from me?

Our relationship is nothing but platonic.

I don't like it.

I need to walk.

***

I sit on a bench and think. The sun is shining and I think.
I think about what would happen if everyone knew about him staying at me place. It would be something as horrifying as mass murder: the sweet, innocent little girl breaking rules. I have no clue where they got the idea that I'm so perfect. As I've already told you, I'm nutty. Like a ground nut.

And I'm thinking, I and Teo were meant to be soulmates. But Teo must be kissing Lila by now. Maybe it's meant to be like this.

Sometimes soulmates aren't meant to be together.
But here should always be a happy ending, right? No one should have a broken heart in the end. If they do, it isn't the end.

So I sit here and wait for the end. Teo found love, so I should too, right? Then it will be a proper end.
So I sit here and wait for true love to come galloping and save me from drowning in my own misery.

Nothing happens. I'm about to get up and go, dejected, when a football thunks me in the head.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

I look up to see the handsome face of Fahren, a well known hottie from our school. And I think I'm going to cry.
I want him to be really nice to me and ask me if I'm okay, then ask me why I'm crying and listen to me pour my heart out and be really sweet to me. I want him to make me fall in love with him.

Instead, he picks up the ball and goes back to the game.

I sit and cry. And cry. And cry.

Then, I'm all dry. The sun is setting. I just sit and don't think at all.

"Hey, is you head okay?"

It's Fahren. He has 2 ice creams in his hand and he's smiling. I'm not broken and everything in the world is perfect.
I feel so happy. I don't know why.

I bring him home to show him my CD collection. We've been talking continuously since he brought me ice cream and I'm so content - I don't know why.
As if everything is fine. As if things are the way they are supposed to be.

he's standing opposite me, complimenting my room, when I suddenly lean in and kiss him.

The world spins. He kisses me back.

Maybe this IS the way everything should be. Teo and I aren't soulmates. We're just best friends. Our relationship is platonic. We're supposed to be best friends only.
We will move on. I'll slowly fall in love with Fahren. Lila and Teo will live happily ever after.
I healed Teo, opened him up, and Fahren is healing me by making me forget Teo, forget the whole world.
The world spins away from us as we kiss.

We finally pull away and something in the window catches my eye. It's Teo.
I freak out and literally push Fahren out of the house. He's confused but he goes anyway.
I realize what an ass I am. In my desperation to be happy, I just kissed a random person I met 3 hours ago.
A vague part of me is hoping Teo is jealous or affected by seeing me kiss someone. But he doesn't seem affected at all. In fact, he seems quite happy. His date was a 'blast' and he's happy that I've found someone and when asked if they had kissed, he just nodded happily.

We go to sleep today with more than a foot between us. My head is all muddled and I can't sleep.
He's sleeping peacefully. I want to scream at him, jump on him and pull his guts out.
I want him to wake up and realize that he doesn't really like Lila and he actually wants me. I want him to tell me he loves me and kiss me. I want him to have nothing - like fantasies about Lila - to hide from me. I want the channel to be open always. I want us to really be soulmates.
I want each night to be a party. Of us holding hands, making out, and just lying in each others' arms. Of having our own sweet secret and being completely in love. Of happy, childish moments - full of teasing and fun. Of intense moments.
Of us being together inspite of the whole bloody world being against it.

I hate him for doing this. Things could be so perfect. I'll pack him his lunch everyday. I'll iron his crumpled shirt. I'll walk to school hand in hand with his and shock the town. I'll kiss him in little stolen moments in the school's terrace and during recess. I'll run my hand through his neat hair all the time and make it messy. I'll help him with his studies. I'll know him inside out. I'll know all his secrets.
Lila can't do any of that, can she?
Then why doesn't he want me?
Do I need to be blonde?

Point sis, nothing I mentioned above will happen. Sometimes endings are messed up where only one person ends up happy and the rest jut try and cope.
So I'll try and cope.

Tomorrow, I'll tell Fahren the kiss was a mistake and that we need to take things a little slower.
Tomorrow, I'll pretend to be happy for Teo.
Tomorrow, I'll try my best to fall in love with Fahren and make this ending right.

But today, let me wallow in my misery and hate Teo and send death glares towards him. Maybe someday when all this is a vague memory, I'll tell Teo what I felt towards him. How I couldn't breathe around him. How I wanted him so badly.
I'll open my channel and bare my soul and show him what I feel.

I'll do that.

Someday.

***

It was in the middle of the football field when Fahren, the football team captain asked her out, in front of a whole crowd of people.

It was obvious he expected a yes. So did everyone.
Really, they would have made a perfect pair: the sweetheart of the school (though a little tainted now by one known as Teobeth) and the star footballer of the school.

But she said no.

Everyone was shocked.
Even Teo - he exhibited astonishment for the first time.

So, in the midst of the collective gasping and a surprised Fahren, she walked off.

No one knew where she went.

Except for Teo.

Some people found Teo and her sitting in the garder behind the school. Their view was obstructed by some tree leaves. She and Teo were leaning against a tree. He, with his arms crossed and she, looking away.
The people heard him ask why she said no. She kept looking away and didn't reply.
He asked her again.

At this point, the informants couldn't understand what happened. She just tunred and looked at him. His jaw dropped. They kept looknig at each other like that for 10 minutes approximately. During this time, his jaw had almost reached the ground.
Then he regained his compusure.

She looked frightened and was shaking.

A little while later, according to what little the could see through the leaves, the informants informed that the two were kissing.

***

Oh hell.
I'm kissing him. He's kissing me.
My hands are running through his hair like they always wanted to. We pull away and just smile at each other.
His arms are around my waist and he's got this goofy broken grin on his face and the sun is shining through his hair. The bright, summer sun is glinting off his face and his lips and his eyes. And I'm spinning with happiness.
He has opened his link. Like I opened mine a lttle while ago. He knows I love him. And I know he loves me.

I know that he knows I was Jim a long time ago. I was really popular, who didn't know me? He knew I was Jim the moment he saw me years ago. And he wantd me. Like I want him.
So he forced himself to be obsessed by Lila so that he didn't do anything stupid. And he also thought he didn't deserve me. And he didn't want to get hurt.

So he was holding back too. All this while. He was just trying to stay away from me, for my sake, because he didn't think I would want him or that he would ever have a chance. He was forcing himself to like Lila just like I was trying to like Fahren. I know this is true. I know it by the warmth emanating from him. It's all for me. It's warmer than the sun bouncing off his face.
I know it by his smile. I've never seen him smile like this, not even yesterday after he came back from his date with Lila. It's so brilliant - brighter than the sun. It's so bright, it could light up the whole town.

Currently, it's lighting up my world.

He's been pretending to like Lila for 3 years! He has wanted me for 3 years!
Watch as a self-satisfied grin spreads across my face.

Now, excuse us while we kiss a little more.
It's my moment, let me enjoy it.

***

It's the talk of the school.
He's 17 and she's 16 and they're going out. No one can believe it. Maybe he blackmailed her. Or used black magic.
Who knows?

She's an outcast now. Lila and Fahren (who are dating now - such a perfect couple!) formed an anti-her-and-Teobeth club. She's also very violent and abusive and is the first to punch anyone if they sy anything about Teobeth.
The title of Ms. Perfect that she won in kindergarten seem to be of no value to her.

He's made a few friends now, but he's still a rather unknown entity, because he refuses to discuss his problems with anyone except for her. He always turns up in school with messy hair and a somewhat crumpled uniform with her hand in his.
Somedays, they have bags under their eyes as they haven't slept all night.
He rarely even talks to her. They just sit and stare at each other in a rather sickening way. They hardly say a word to each other all day. He sits in a corner from where he watches her move across class. She's the monitor now.

Everyone likes order. And this is the order of things now - them being together. They go to school together. Then they go to work together. They say they're saving up to buy a house together.
Everyone thinks they're nuts.

It's been a year since they started to go out, and, by now, he's begun to show emotions openly. This has coused them to be caught in rather compromising positions may times - in the janitor's closet, the school terrace, in class during recess ... it's highly embarrassing!

Who knows why she's going out with him? Don't his crumpled clothes bother her? Doesn't his messy hair drive her away?
When asked why she just smiled brightly, "because I love him".

And this time, no one doubts the truth of her statement.

Power cuts in delhi

2009-06-28T15:47:00.000+05:30

I am sick of these power cuts. Some officials say that no place has power cuts longer than 1 hour per day should be hit with slippers (journalist style) or made to sit in a corner for lying.
My place didn't start having power cuts till two weeks ago, and its been hell since. We have minimum 3 hour power cuts per day.
And its terribly hot nowadays. Rain (not Rain-kun) is late, so its around 45 degrees everyday in the afternoons. The excessive heat has caused a horrifying pimple to erupt on my nose. *sob* And i've been unable to sleep properly for the last few days, no power in the noon, no power in the night. When there IS light, i go study... So i've just been sleeping 4 hrs a day during my holidays. Does that stink or what?
I say whoever is responsible for the power cuts should be sued for torture of a whole city, and of course...my nose.

How to pretend nothings up- integral part of every teen's life

2009-06-28T15:43:00.000+05:30

Steps-
Whisper good-bye and keep the phone.
Check the time in your cell and gawp at how late it is.
Keep lying on the bed in the dark.
Replay the conversation in your mind.
Smile.
Think of some of the important parts again.
Think of a thousand things at once.
Turn on the lights, then gawp at how low your cell battery is.
Gawp at how high his cell bill will be.
Giggle, like a...Girl.
Decide that you will sober up before going outside.
Try to sober up.
Try to fight the smile creeping onto your face.
Think of sad stuff.
Think of studies.
Think of how he said he hadn't studied but still topped in the test.
Think of how you called him a spoilt brat.
Imagine him smirking at the other end.
Replay his laugh.
Grin.
Decide thinking of studies is a bad idea.

Frown and go outside.
Brush your teeth and try not to think at all.
And stop smiling foolishly or ppl will think something is up.
Think about-
* Is something up?
* Do i want something to be up?
* What the heck is going on?
* He's so sweet.
* He's so nerdy.
* He's not hot.
* But i like talking to him.
* No sparks.
* He's so nice.
* What'll happen next?
* Do i want something to happen?
* Am i normal?

Fantasize about the future.
Think about whether you like it.
Don't make up your mind.
Slither into bed in the dark.
Ignore your mom whispering your name questioningly.
Hide your face in the blanket and pretend to be asleep.
Hide from questions she might ask, to which you don't know the answers.
Wait till she leaves.
Slither out of bed.
Write this.

Shiney joke

2009-06-16T19:53:00.000+05:30

A joke about shiney ahuja's recent misadventures-

Q. What is Shiney Ahuja's sexual orientation?
A. Bai-sexual.

:p
heehee.

Ulcers

2009-06-16T12:50:00.000+05:30

Finally the coaching break started this friday. All the hostellers are
off to their homes, and i'm here, trying to revise the 11th syllabus.

I currently have a vein throbbing in my forehead, cause i've been
getting pretty mad about a couple of things.
For example, the attacks on indians in australia. AFTER 15 ppl get
attacked, they finally accept that the attacks ARE racist. The worst
thing is, they haven't been able to stop anything. A large number of
attacks have occured after the first few came into people's notice,
but it doesn't seem like they want to take action.

And then, there's my brother. He's an old problem. He's a moron. Need
i say more?

Also, that kanpur-jeans panga and my best friend just reminded me of
the hundreds of incidents in which girls were unfairly discriminated
against and blamed for their rapes, and abused etc etc.

Which also made me think, i understand that guys have high levels of
testosterone, which makes them more aggressive and xxx-ish, but do
they have no self control?
There are millions of cases of eve teasing, rapes and harassment
around the world in just one month. So, that means there are millions
of guys with no control over their hormones and no respect for women.
It just makes me so angry. HOW DARE THEY?
Hormones or no hormones, no matter how horny a girl is, you never see
HER going around feeling the ass of any cute guy on the street. You
don't see them trying to peek at any random guy's dick. No, not even a
guy that you like, just some random guy on the street.
Ew. The thought is pretty disgusting. Why'd you want to see it
anyways, i dunno. Thats why i don't understand how guys manage to get
excited by staring at any random female's boobs.
And then, if a girl gets raped, she's treated as if it was her fault.
Her 'character' is doubted, some families disown the girl, people
mistreat you, and always, the guy gets away with no consequences.

I'll stop now. It just frustrates me a lot, and to no avail.

Drown- part iii

2009-05-19T23:06:00.002+05:30

I woke next morning to the sound of banging. Startled, i looked around.
He was gone.
I realised that the ship had stopped moving because the to-and-fro motion that i'd gotten used to in the past 24 hrs had stopped.
Someone pounded on the door again.
God help me. We'd been discovered. No. He'd lose his job. His chance. All cause of me. He'd be in trouble. No, i won't let it happen. I won't blame him.
I clutched my blanket to my chest and pushed myself into a corner as i waited for the person to enter. I blinked against the dazzling light as the door swung open and banged into the wall next to it, making me.
A figure of a man stepped in. Then he jumped back, suprised. "who are you? What are you doing here?"
"I..." i gulped. "i am trying to get to Puerto." He looked bewildered. I continued, "Please, i want a new beginning... in a new land... I want to start over again. Please let me travel with you... I just wanted to go somewhere far from here..."
i stopped when the man started laughing. "This ship aint going nowhere, miss. This is the Sheldon ferry." My jaw fell slack. "We just ship stuff across the banks. We aren't going to any 'far off lands'. Sorry." he tried to hide his grin.
My mind when numb. I didn't want to think.
I clutched the blanket tighter around me and stepped into the brilliant light outside. I was right. We were back at the port- the same place where i started.
I felt nauseated.
I wanted to throw up.
I walked on.
Something told me that i wouldn't see him again, but i tried not to think about it as i stumbled off the ship.
I walked slowly, with measured steps, as the tears fell in a continuous stream across my cheeks.
I tasted their saltiness when i licked my lips.

I thought i had nothing to lose.
I guess i was wrong.

This time i jumped into the sparkling water without hesitation.

THE END

YAY! My 107th post! And boo to anyone who actually thought i'd write cheesy horrible cliched love stories, which honestly make me want to puke. Life isn't perfect. Prince charming won't pop out from behind the boxes at your time of need to rescue you. Deal with it. P.S. Don't get raped either.

Drown- part ii

2009-05-17T19:33:00.000+05:30

He sneaked me onto the ship that night. He got me food, water and a blanket and i stumbled after him in the dark as he led me to the ship. It was pitch black, i could hardly see even the ship. He took me to a tiny room, which was almost bare, save a few boxes. There was a little bulb on one wall, but there were no windows. Maybe it was a store room. I didn't ask. I was far too grateful.
He smiled at me before he left, locking the door from the outside, so as to not arouse suspicion-he said.

I felt the boat move a few hours later, i tried to sleep, but spent most of the time thinking instead.
I wondered what would have happened if he hadn't chanced upon me tonight. I would have probably been floating in the sea, bloated up like a balloon.
He saved me.
He was my saviour.
This could be out of some movie. I wondered why he'd stopped. He could have gone on, ignoring the girl with a wild look in her eye and the dirty white cotton dress.
Did he do it because he was kind or because he saw something else in me? Was it fate that we met? Were we destined to meet? Would we have a happy ending like in movies?
Maybe i would fall in love with him.
Maybe i was already in love.
I smiled as i thought about him. His kindly eyes, his eyebrows furrowed with worry. For me. Is it possible that anyone can worry about me?
And he also gave me a chance when no one else did. Maybe i was worth the chance.
I was deeply grateful to him. I clutched the worn blanket to my chest as the ship swayed a bit. I wish i could say him back somehow.

****************************

I love him, i decided later, as i nibbled at a piece of bread.
I love him, but am i worthy of being loved by someone so amazing? Could he love me?
Yes, maybe he could. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe we were soul mates. Maybe we'd get married and live together in Puerto. We'd have 2 kids- a boy and a girl. We'd be hopelessly in love. We'd grow old together and smile at the memory of me, who once, in a white cotton dress was going to jump off a bridge. We'd smile at his courageously sneaking me onto- which ship is this? Onto this ship to Puerto. We'd live together happily.
Forever.

**************************

He came again that night. He got a quilt and some more food with him. He grinned at me as we shared the food under the dim light of the bulb. His grey eyes seemed to sparkle.
After we ate, we set up the quilt on the floor and then lay on it, flat on our backs, looking up at the ceiling. Our arms were almost touching.
I smiled.

"We'll get there in 8 days time." he said, "try and not make a lot of noise... I'm sorry i couldn't make good enough arrangements for you..."
"No, no... Its more than enough. I just want to tell you how grateful i am to you..." i turned my head to look at him "Thank you..." i whispered.
He slowly turned his head to look at me too. My heart skipped a beat. Our faces were so close, i could feel his breath on my face.
I closed the distance.
I kissed him.
And he kissed back.

As he slid the cotton dress off, all i could think of was how maybe we all DID live in fairy tales with happy endings, and how maybe, just maybe, i'd found mine...

Drown- part i

2009-05-16T01:26:00.001+05:30

The wind was cool. It brushed part me and made my limp hair come to life and dance with it. I pushed it off my face and blinked rapidly to clear the tears blurring my vision.
I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself.

Calm myself.

What a joke. Being calm, standing here, 20 feet above the water. I gripped the railing and stared at the dark black water below me.
Why am i gripping the railing?
I laughed through my tears. I should be letting go, not holding on.
I laughed again,a choked maniacal laugh. I'm talking as if i have a lot to hold onto.
My loose cotton dress whipped around my legs, and i shuffled my feet, as to stand a bit more comfortably on the edge of the outer side of this bridge.
I came here to drown. Not myself. I just wanted to drown the pain stabbing me from the inside. If i had to drown myself too to kill it, then so be it.

But why are you still standing? Jump!
You had made up your mind, hadn't you? Jump now!
I taunted myself as i gave another choked sob.

Jump.

Jump.

Jump.

"Don't jump." i heard someone behind me. It was a man. He had a calm, raspy voice. I liked it.

"why?" i whispered. "why shouldn't i?"
"why should you?"
i laughed hysterically. Suicidal tendencies sure screw up your sense of humour.
"he left me." i took a deep breath, "i left everything for him. My parents. My home. My country. I came here after him." i stared at the liberating water through blurry eyes. "And still he left me. I don't have anything. No money, no job, no home... Nothing. Why should i live?"

He went silent. Did he agree? Don't tell me you agree... Please...

"i also once had nothing." he suddenly spoke. "i was ready to give up too. But then, someone gave me a chance, a man i didnt even know. He gave me a job on his ship. I learnt, i worked, i travelled. I saw and experienced new things. Slowly, i grew back." he paused. "you need to give yourself a chance too."
i blinked back my tears. A chance? I tightened my grip on the railing.
"My ship is leaving for Puerto tomorrow morning, a place far from here. If you are willing to take the chance, i can sneak you onto my ship. You can start over again, in a new country, with a new name. A new beginning."
i turned around carefully, placing my feet carefully on the ledge.
I turned to a young man, about my age, with brown hair and a round face. And grey pools for eyes, slightly similar to the dark water i could fall into if i let go now. But his grey eyes were warm, his eyebrows furrowed with concern. The water was cold and still, with no marks on its perfect surface.

I climbed over to railing to him.

First day of the last summer hols

2009-05-07T10:05:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was the last day of school before the hols. It wasn't much of a senti affair as most of my class will be coming to school during the hols anyways cause of coaching, and we'll see each other everyday.
But anyways,we did get into a sort of senti mood on realising that this is the last summer hol of our life. Shucks. Then we started flashbacking on the most memorable things since eleventh.
Since most of my class is of hostellers/ppl who just came in eleventh, it was quite a suprise as to how close we've grown in a few months, since july, actually. Ok, fine, in about a year...Whatever, its quite less as compared to the 5-12 years that we've known other ppl in school.

Yae. Its list time.

List of memorable things about section B (completely random order)

* BuKuSuKu
This is one of the most recent memorable things. The BuKuSuKu group was formed by me, upasna, deepti and nayani. Credit for the name goes to Mr. Punnet, founder of the Punnet's square, which we used to think up the name. We used our initials as gametes and formed a square. One of the columns had Bu Ku Su Ku in it, which we took as our group name. But its f irritating when all the other members yell 'BuKuSuKu' at random intervals to piss me off cause i think its a pathetic name though i do love them all.

* The Obi gang
My name is Subohi. You write it as Subohi, you pronounce it as SU-BO-HI. The exact way you write it. Yet some teachers are partially blind and transform it to shubhi, subah, shobi and even subodh. Once upon a substitution teacher called me shobi, and a certain friend of mine called shreya pandey kept making fun of of throughout the day by calling me so too. I finally got irritated and told her that if i was shobi, she was a gobi (cauliflower in hindi). She shrugged. Thus began the obi gang. Her unseperable twin, shreya de (they're not related in anyway, but we all suspect they were destined to be together cause they both hit off really well on meeting) was sometime later christened as dhobi (washerwoman in hindi), thus making the obi gang complete. Our signature is the two-finger hi-fives (hi-two's?). Later, pankhuri was invited to join the group as aloo(potato)-as gobi and aloo are inseperable, and she, sort of agreed.
But it still makes me wonder as to why our gang is named after the belt of a kimono.

* Aditi and 'Yo-man!'
this is during the initial phases, when we'd just met and jtjn had just been released. We used to recite aditi like a poem, in all the ways possible-rap way, sad way, yelling way, serenading way. And we used to say yo-man all the time. It was like our class symbol. We even drew two fingers and a big 'Yo!' as a flag and put it on the notice board. Yae. Fun.

Note- i'll continue later. I really need to go study kinetics or i'll flop in the next test too. *sob*

Oh ya.

2009-05-02T19:26:00.000+05:30

Just realised. This is my 102nd post. Crossed the 100 mark. Cheers. Real celebration on 107th post (i like 7's).

I've decided.

2009-05-02T19:25:00.000+05:30

I give up. I can't take it anymore. Enough is enough.

Tree

2009-05-02T08:31:00.000+05:30

Its bloom time! I love these flowery trees!
Around a month ago, bloom time started in our colony with the purple trees. I dunno their name, but they're AWESOME! I saw them everyday in the evenings, when i came back from coaching and they absolutely made my day. These delicate looking bunches of purple at the tips of the tree branches....Sort of make your heart full of something....Its so beautiful that you can't stop a smile springing to your face. But the flowers are all gone now.
Now, the red tree is in full bloom. It makes my day too. Its like...Completely red...I see it every morning, its right across the road from my bus stop. Its flowers are starting to fall too now, but its as pretty as ever. It makes me smile, seeing the red branches sway in the (relatively) cool morning wind. But they're going too now.
Now its blooming time for my favourite tree. The yellow tree. Or as i discovered some time ago, the amalthas or the laburnum tree. I'm not particularly fond of yellow, but this tree is an explosion of yellow, dangling down from the seemingly white branches. It just makes you feel so happy, for no reason, and makes me smile, as if everything doesn't suck, and is perfect, and complete... Dunno, i just feel great seeing the tree. And i bless the soul who planted one opposite our building. So i see it everyday. This is the first year its blooming and its short, but its beautiful. While walking by, i couldn't resist breaking of one branch full of flowers. There are quite a few yellow trees in munirka. 2 are just near my bus stop. They're larger, but not as pretty as my yellow tree.
But its weird. They're blooming late this year. I remember seeing them in full bloom in march, on the way to the board exam centre. I'd love seeing them. I sort of thought of them as my lucky charm. There were dozens on the way, and i would gaze happily at them as the cool air from the open car window ruffled my hair. I think they are my lucky charm. But i also don't believe lucky charms work, those stones and taveez things seem far too... Unreliable...
But i've preserved my yellow tree branch in my pradeep subjective just in case.

My Class Teacher

2009-04-25T20:13:00.001+05:30

My CT is driving me insane. I frankly could have cared less about her, but she has a certain charm that says 'listen to every crappy word !I¡ say you moron or !I¡ will punch the air out of your alveoli !!!'

I can actually list the things about her that put me off-

Thing that puts me off number 1- she lacks any voice modulation skills. She starts off in a soft enough tone and ends up literally barking the notes at you. It really makes me cringe. Its as if she is shouting the lesson angrily at us. I hate ppl yelling. It makes my tummy churn in an unpleasant way.
Eg- 1.1 "write- Kleinfelters syndrome. It is caused due to... *cringe* PRESENCE OF AN ADDITIONAL COPY OF *cringe* *cringe* !X-CHROMOSOME!!!¡ such an individual can suffer from... *cringe* GYNAECOMASTIA!!! - Development of *cringe* BREASTS!!! *cringing hyperdrive*"

Thing that puts me off number 2- her life revolves around the word 'I' and 'me' and 'my'.
2.1 She'll tell you stories about her and her greatness and her power and her stature and her daughters and her life without anyone asking.
Eg 2.1.1- MY daughters are so amazing. MY second daughter is more dedicated than MY first. She studied for medical herself without MY help and got in HERSELF!
2.1.2 YOU don't know what life is. You HAVE to do your job no matter what. Like ME. !I! remember when !I! was pregnant with MY second daughter, !I! went to school EVERYDAY and taught till the very last day. That day, !I! came to school and then went back home and delivered MY daughter that night."

2.2 She will tell you exactly how knowledgable and worship-worthy she is.
Eg 2.2.1 "What? He's in the clinic? Yeah, yeah, !I¡ knew that. !I¡ know everything. MUJHE sab pata hai!!! MUJHE 25 yrs ka experience hai!"
Eg 2.2.1 "Huh? Which chromosome mutation causes leukemia? Oh ya. !I¡ know. MUJHE pata hai. MY brother had leukemia. MAINE dekha hai vo chromosome!!!"

Thing that puts me off number 3- she craps a lot about HER 25yrs of experience, mentioning how knowledgable and great she is whenever she can. She also keeps quoting from her 10yr old withering out of date ncert very proudly, probably cause she'd learnt it off heart. She's the bio HOD, but she still doesn't know the 3yr old syllabi well enough and has to literally read out the text book to us as notes.
Eg 3.1 She draws the diagram to show how chromosomes seperate- "hain? Oh, i drew this diagram from the old ncert. That was one excellent BOOK! Oh, it has one step less than the new book. Wait, *scribbles* here, you can draw this step too if you want...... In the exam, YOU have to draw this step. It is important. MUJHE pata hai. MAINE paper check kare hain for the boards, !I¡ know what they want. DRAW IT!"

Thing that puts me off number 4- Her ability to say crap and get away with it.
Her intro's to repro classes are famous,(she gives intro's due to the princi passing a law that she will not teach repro, probably cause she is perverted. We're taught repro by another teacher.). She is also known to pass a lot of perverted and embarrassing comments. She also knows the art of incorporating perverted-ness everywhere.
Eg 4.1 We're studying about chromosomes of fruit flies. Nothing perverted at all. The CT comments- " They complete their life cycle in 2 weeks and produce a large number of progeny flies. Having kids is very IMPORTANT. If you don't have kids, your marriage will break down. Pyaar-vyaar sab khatam ho jata hai! Kids keep the MARRIAGE TOGETHER! Having kids is a MUST!" er, ok.
Eg 4.2 Intro to repro class by her- "This is not the right time for you to indulge in SEXUAL activity! You are too YOUNG! GIRLS! Keep Boys At BAY!"
Eg 4.3 We study genes. Another innocent topic. "ok. A QUESTION. If the MOTHER has blood group B and the FATHER has O, can the CHILD have AB blood group?" *everyone acts confused* "NO! The child CAN NOT be AB unless he is adopted, or the mother is.... having a chakkar with the NEIGHBOUR!"

Uh, Ok. Thanx for violating my innocent mind.

B.R.A. -Battle Ready Armour

2009-04-25T09:55:00.000+05:30

Who the hell said bra's are not of any use except from stopping your breasts from jiggling?

Ok, that might be the case with ordinary bra's but not this woman's!
This 57 yr old woman is still alive because of her Bra.
She had spotted a couple of 16 yr olds breaking into her neighbours place in the morning, and when they saw her, they shot at her.
And Super Duper Under-wired Bra successfully deflected the bullet, thus saving the woman's life! (yup, she was injured, but she didn't atleast die)

The detroit police sgt says that they should get bullet-proof vests made of that wire, and i dunno why, but i find the idea slightly creepy.

Apr 15

2009-04-15T05:46:00.000+05:30

I just had another dream.
And it was bad. It wasn't that frightening, but the atmosphere of this one... Was full of dread.
All dreams have a feeling, a major one that is omnipresent. This one had dread.
I'm writing this so that i don't forget what the dream was about or forget to write it and because i want to tell someone, even if, no one may actually read this.
It majorly had-
dread
a spaceship
stones
my class-upasna (goes home), dhobi n gobhi
sam
the dude i hate (to be called D henceforth)
a friend of mine, male (to be called p henceforth)
some lessons
stones+cars
hate
more dread

enough dread to keep me shaking even after i woke up, and going and hugging my mom in my sleep. I dunno what i was frightened of, but i walked extremely slowly and cautiously around the house. I was afraid. Very afraid.
I'll describe the dream when i get back. I gotto take a bath and get ready for school.
If i recover completely, maybe i won't describe the dream at all. :)

a frightening thought- the feelings can leak out of dreams

Recipe- song a la crap

2009-04-11T23:55:00.000+05:30

Ways to destroy a song-

requirements-
1 good song by a famous composer. For best effects, select a fresh one, on which the composer has worked hard.
1 composer, who won't complain about the shit his song will endure
2 awards
1 irritating slut group
3 jars of vela news channels
2 sucky campaign managers

STEP 1:
make the song as famous as possible by adding 2 awards to the composer in a bowl. To initiate the process of making the song irritating, add the 3 jars of vela news channels who will play the song as background music for every news possible (cricket match victories,awards,shoke sabhas,a dog's marriage to a tree).
Continue stirring till the public is completely pissed with the song and turns a light red (with anger). Ensure that the public loses all real appreciation for the lyrics and tune and composer.

STEP 2
Hand out the song to a slut group so they can make a remix. Add seductive words and 3 1/2 pounds of raw flesh (comes free with slut group). Garnish with dumb lines till song is repulsive enough to make you puke.
(suggested garnishing- "just keep it burnin, yeah baby, just keep it comin...")

STEP 3
Take 2 sucky campaign managers who have no intelligible ideas. Allow them to remix the song as to promote their parties. This can be done in two ways-
1) by criticising the government through the lyrics (if you were not the government) and blaming them for every calamity, accident, wardrobe malfunction on ramp, your dirty restroom, any disease and/or any other mortal sin.
2) by praising the goverment in the lyrics and flashing weird pictures of your party leaders, flags, supporters, animals and toilet paper rolls in the video. (if you were the government last time)
Then, pay some of the afore mentioned vela news channels to play these videos instead of commercials. Ensure they are popular so that there is maximum destruction.
Suggested garnishing-recession hit public

Congratulations. You just beat the crap of a really good song.

Dreams

2009-04-10T19:12:00.000+05:30

Does anyone know how to stop yourself from dreaming?
No, not day-dreaming.... The sleep dreams.
Can you stop them? I'll probably go mad if i can't.

Today i dreamt that my grandma died.
Before that i dreamt of something just as freaky.
The day before i had a dream inside a dream inside a dream. And i was asleep for just 1 1/2 hrs. And the dream wasn't pleasant.
Sometime before that, i dreamt of being convicted for a crime i hadn't done and someone dying. I woke up crying.

Someone make it stop. Please.

P.S. I've decided to keep a dream diary from now on and record my dreams before i forget them and also how frequently i dream.
If i sleep less than i do now, will it stop? I sleep 5 hrs nowadays.

E-coli

2009-03-16T21:40:00.000+05:30

Two cells of E. coli were wandering slowly
Down the gastrointestinal tract.
An F+ was he, an F- was she,
And their membranes were bound to attract.

Now the dainty F- was born in a sinus
Where her members did seldom trespass,
But the brawny F+ was spawned in some pus,
And produced both acid and gas.

A kiss he had stolen, down deep in the colon;
"Don't touch me", she said, "or I'll scream!
I have no protection, and an F+ infection
Would spoil my maidenly dream."

So the poor lonely fella withdrew his flagella
And worshipped her from afar;
"At least", he said, "wait, till I can mutate
And come back an HFR.

Muhahahahahahaha.
I totally love this poem, I dunno where it came from, but is most probably off the net. We found it in one of the files in the pen drive Kusum ma’am gave us.
I like it, its funny, so we’re putting it in the bio magazine too(Nayani was against it first, saying that its too “suggestive”) .Since we’re all naughty kids, who really don’t need any xxx-type thoughts about e-coli cells, I changed the para, to make it decent enough to pass our censor board (aka, the HOD)
So now the para goes like:
A kiss he had stolen, down deep in the colon;
"Stay away", she said, "or I'll scream!
I don’t want your attention, as an F+ infection
Would spoil my maidenly dream."

Soom- breath

2009-03-16T21:37:00.000+05:30

Breath is a…complicated movie. Its weirdly incomplete, but inspite of that I like it. Everything has been portrayed awesomely though.
The script lacks a lot of dialogues, but I think it went great without them.
It has been nominated for the Palme d’Or. It’s a Korean movie by some Kim kin-duk (I think).
The main lead is Jin, a person who has been sentenced to death for some crime. He appears in the news due to his attempt at suicide using the sharpened end of a toothbrush (which one of his other inmates used to scratch images on the wall with), and jabbing at his throat. Blood squirts at the face of X (the artist) and Y inmate screams his head off.
Jin’s vocal chords are thus conveniently damaged, rendering him mute for the whole film (convenient, as the actor playing Jin didn’t know Korean anyway).
Jin appears on the news, and we’re informed that his date of death has been extended due his second suicide attempt, where Yian (female lead) sees him. She is a sculptor with a kid and a husband (lets call him Pig), who has been cheating.
Following a fight, she impulsively leaves the house in the middle of the night and goes to the jail where Jin is staying.
She asks to see him, claiming to be his ex-gf. She is allowed by the Boss of the jail (whose face is not shown, just a hazy reflection of his face, as he watches the interactions between Jin and Yian on a TV through the security cameras- I think he’s just plain perverted).
Jin and Yian meet with a glass barrier with tiny holes between them. He doesn’t say a word-just watches her intently and curiously. She talks, she told him how once she’d been dead for 5 minutes as a child. She and her friends were holding their breath for fun and she said that she remembers what it felt like-sometimes. She said it wasn’t bad. She requests him not to hurt himself anymore. He breaks one hair off her and examines it silently. Before he is dragged off, he plants a breathy kiss on the glass.

Yian visits again. This time, there’s no glass. She’s covered the walls of the meeting room with paintings of flowering meadows and is wearing a summer dress, even though it is snowing outside. The whole scene is a stark contrast from the rest of the movie, which is full of dull colors, maybe mirroring her empty life-SPRING She sings a song a song for him and causes him to break into a small smile (AWWWW!!!!). They then sit down. She speaks. He listens. She tells him about her memories of spring, as he slowly extends his hands towards her face, watching her with a strange intensity. He comes closer and closer to her face. Perverted man rings the bell to end the meeting. Jin is dragged away.
She tears her paintings off the wall, crying. She burns them in a dustbin.

She returns a few days later. SUMMER. Repeat performance themed summer. She talks. He stares intently. Then they kiss passionately.
When she returns, Pig gets mad at her and asks her where she’d been disappearing. He says that she’s been neglecting the household and the kid and says that he fulfilled her duties even when he was cheating.
Its weird. God knows why Yian goes to meet Jin, because of jealousy or boredom or lack of a social life or out of revenge Also, throughout the movie, she doesn’t say a word to Pig, while Jin doesn’t speak to her...

So, she ignores Pig and goes to meet Jin again. AUTUMN. The paintings are of a beautiful mountain. Jin stands near her painting of a tree and watches her sing. This time they don’t sit. Yian takes his handcuffed hands, and puts them over her head so that she’s trapped between his arms. She tells him that she once met a man under a similar tree on a mountain. She loved him (Pig). They kiss.
Pig had followed her and sees them kissing from Pervert’s office.
Pig tells her to stop meeting Jin and says he’ll stop his affair too. They yell. Fight. Now we find out that Jin was in jail as he’d killed his wife and daughters. This comes as a surprise, totally different from the loving and calm Jin we’d come to know. She agrees because of their kid. Pig goes to meet Jin and tells him she won’t come anymore. Jin attempts suicide the third time with the sharpened toothbrush(not very effective is it?).
Yian sees this on TV, Pig tries to change the channel, but she throws a glass at his head (nice one). She later goes to him and kisses him, but he ends up pushing her away. I suppose he gets it then that they really don’t belong together.
She goes to the jail. Pig drops her. He and kid build snow-men outside as she visits.
There’s no singing or paintings this time. Just the stark white walls, similar to the dull snow outside. They make out, with a desperate touch this time.
They all go home.
The end.
Pretty pointless, I agree. But its been shot beautifully. The strange …love (call it what u want) between Jin and Yian is fascinating. I don’t really get it. And though the movie seems very incomplete, I still like it. The weird romance and the strange acceptability shown by Jin is mystifying. I really can’t explain it. The movie sets you off thinking in various directions. The romance might have existed cause Yian wanted revenge at her hubby and because Jin was grabbing at any chances to live a bit more and was plain bored at the jail.
Or it could be because of the soulmate thing… they just saw each other and knew they belonged together. No questions asked.

I like the idea of that. Just seeing someone and knowing you belong together.
Then staying together.
Forever.
No questions asked.

Extract- Does My Head Look Big In This?

2009-02-27T21:31:00.000+05:30

Aw. This book is really nice. Its called “Does My Head Look Big In This?” by Randa Abdel-Fattah. Its about this muslim girl in Australia, who studies at a stuck-up grammar school called McCleans. No big deal. But then, she decides to start wearing the hijab full time. The book is about all the probs she has and how she handles them. the book discusses prejudices and serious topics like this in a very…cool manner. They come up in Amal (main lead)’s daily life, and she talks about it in her own witty-wise way. She’s pretty funny and makes you think a lot without being too serious or feel like you’re being preached on how to treat muslims. Nice.

I’m fond of one particular para in the book, which could be credited for me liking the book overall:
Amal (hijab-wearing muslim girl, victim of prejudiced thoughts) and Simone (“oh-my-god-I’m-fat-because-I’m-not-stick-thin-so-I’m-horrible-inspite-of-being-damn-beautiful” girl, victim of society. Oh well, aren’t we all…)
“
Simone shrugs her shoulders. “Yeah, well, it’s probably true…sometimes I start a diet and then I open a Cosmo or a Cleo and there are these articles about pregnant superstars losing thirty kilos in two or three months and here I am struggling to lose a kilo. So I give up and demolish a Mars bar. Or I see all these model shoots of these gorgeous beach babes with their bones poking into my hand when I turn the pages and I think, what’s the point? Even if I lose ten kilos and was in my weight-height ratio, people would still consider me fat. I wish I could be anorexic. How sick is that, huh? But I don’t have the self-control to live off a lettuce leaf a day. And I’ve tried the whole bulimia thing but I can’t even throw up. I’m just pathetic! Abnormal!”
“You know what? Who cares what normal is, Simone. Let’s protest. From now on we’re anti-normal, anti-average, anti-standard. You can eat when you want to, I’ll wear what I want to, and we’ll die with a packet of chips in our hand and a tablecloth on our head.”
"

Um

2009-02-27T21:30:00.001+05:30

My blog has had no aim or apparent…um…theme till now. Now, I’ve decided to make it into an anti-anti-muslim blog.

No, its not sudden, its just been a process.

#1 I suppose it began with my darling grandmother, aka Dadi, coming over. She stayed for a couple of days, and well, I suddenly noticed the complete absence of spiritualism or any kind of feeling of religious duty etc. etc. I also noticed the lack of…I dunno how to put it.
Well, when we were kids, we were always preached about being good and not lying, god watching us, our duties, to be nice to everyone, being polite and helpful and all the good things which make me want to puke. I sort of lost touch of all that, forgot about it. Probably because I’m not constantly reminded to be like that anymore. Whatever, she told me stories of Prophet Mohammad, reminded me to help my mother when I could, reading the Koran after the exams (I’m getting an English version, Dadi approves) etc.
My mother used to tell me all that too, but being the rebel I was (/am) I ran away from all of it, without any reason. I refused to pray, to read the Koran or listen to her. What a brat. Point is,I realize the importance of it all now.

Ok maybe not, but now I’ve started to think, Why not? I’ve been disrespecting an awesome chance I’ve been getting. I rejected it all without trying it. Its cool you know, to learn to read Arabic, know verses, to…dunno. I’m frankly curious about my own religion which I have blatantly ignored till now.

#2 Then, HT started an article series about the Godhra riots that happened years back. It plain freaks me out. Being hunted down, being killed, even worse, being raped, even worse, watching your family being killed or raped. Just because you belong to some other community. It’s usual for us all to read about killings in the papers without batting an eyelid, as it is for me. But I sort of am more terrified about this because…well, I sort of know how it feels. I used to have a few dreams about being chased by someone. I was in this block of apartments, which was completely empty. I’d keep running, then try to hide, try to bunch myself in the tiniest possible space, hold my breath. But I knew in the end he’d find me. And that wouldn’t be good.
Ok, maybe you don’t understand, but there is this horrible dread of being caught…its terrifying…
Whatever. Point is, I understand. And its unfair that some innocent people were pinpointed and killed just because they were muslim…they had to run for their lives…they lost everything they had…their own childhood friends came raiding their houses… aargh
Its plain freaky, ok? The worst thing is, it could happen one day to me too…the way things have been going downhill for us. The image of muslims is getting worse.
Also, I hate the fact that there is an image…its like we’re an object…or a certain bloc that can be categorized as something, as the Terrorists, or the Totally-Covered-Up’s, or the Oppressed-Women-One’s. No one seems to be categorizing any other community. They don’t go “oh! You’re a hindu!” with surprise if you don’t hang ganeshas around your neck, put tilaks and yell out your religion.
And fuck, is it irritating when people are surprised when they realize I’m a muslim, they all go “oh, you don’t look like one!”
What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’ve heard the comment hundreds of times now and have managed to come up with a few retorts that lets ppl know I’m pissed.
Eg: “Why? Because I don’t have horns growing on my head?” or “What am I supposed to look like?” or “Do the rest of them wear badges or what?”
Ok, that’s plain rude.

#3 Then, it was reading Randa Abdel-Hakim’s novel. It makes me admire the heroines bravery and be ashamed of my own lack of religious practice. I mean, Amal is supposed to be a girl in Australia, who prays, knows all her verses, and even wears the hijab. What kind of moron am I?
Being the brat I am, I condemned wearing the salwar-kameez, used studying as an excuse to not pray and escape from reading the Koran.
I was so,so wrong. So stupid.
No, it doesn’t mean I’ll become a fanatic. I just want to belong a bit more to my community, learn a bit more about my religion. I want to have a bit more right to defend my community against crappy stupid people who think we all are terrorists. Just a little right.
I just want to do it…for me.
What if the Final Judgment will happen? What will I do then?
I might sound like a stupid person to atheists, but…I don’t see anything wrong in learning. I want the English version of the Koran, to understand what it means, to learn Arabic again. I mean, I’d read parts of the Koran earlier, prayed, fasted…but I did that because I was told to, I did it half-heartedly.
This time… I’ll do it because I want to. And I feel happy knowing that.

P.S. Congratulations. You just witnessed a change-of-heart thing. I feel a sense of responsibility now, about being muslim, towards my community, and Allah. I don’t want to be a muslim just because I was born into my family, I want to earn it a bit. I want to be a bit more religious just because some assholes condemn people because they’re muslim, and being the snobbish brat I am, I’ll do whatever they don’t like.

P.P.S. If you hate Muslims may Allah drop a tree on your stupid head.

V-day, come and gone

2009-02-19T22:28:00.001+05:30

Another v-day come and gone, and I’m still stuck in this rut.
I don’ have a bf, thinking of turning lesbo
Since I can’t rhyme, I better shut
Up-o.

Oh, don’t look at me like that. I CAN rhyme, but not when miserable, and when the world is intent on torturing me with events such as practicals and valentine’s days. Seriously, till last year, I didn’t give a damn, but this year, it really hits you. You wonder if you’re pathetic cause you don’t have a bf or great because you don’t have a bf for a person you don’t even like.
Blah.
Whatever.
I can hardly like a guy for more than…what? 2 days?
Me no say a word. V-day is meant for people in love.
And I don’t believe in love.
Yeah, yeah, don’t go singing the Dido number. I’m serious.
I don’t believe in love. I would put up my long explanation as to what love is supposed to be, but I’m lazy, so I’ll do it some other time. I don’t believe love exists, just… acceptance and obsession.
If you like a person and accept their flaws, inspite of their imperfectness, its acceptance.
If you like a person and don’t see their flaws, its obsession.
I suffer from obsessions every now and then, and patiently wait for them to wear off. They mostly end in a day or two. At that point, the person seems amazing, capable of anything, a glorious god. When it wears off, I usually find myself cringing at the guy I almost worshipped.
I’m blind then. Just like Romeo and Juliet and other crappy story characters are. When ppl meet and “fall in love” at first site, and say, “there was something about his/her face”, its because you fell for their looks, darling. You were obsessed. You can’t see how pathetic the person may be, just act pig-headed and do stupid stuff (like kill yourself, in Juliet’s case).
It wears off. And that’s what causes “love” marriages to break down, often giving the arranged-married-is-best ppl to be gleeful.
Acceptance is far better. You’re not obsessed, but you can live with the person, without any unpleasant surprises, and know them completely.
Yeah, you could call acceptance “love”, but then…you accept some people, but you don’t exactly want to live with them, or just be with them forever.
So, maybe you could call love a combo of acceptance and liking…but then you apparently “love” your parents too, even though you may not completely accept their flaws or like everything about them.
Yikes. I wrote a sermon, even without intending to. I’ll finish up the argument some other day.

Shutuptimenow.

my birthday

2008-12-13T17:26:00.000+05:30

7 december
ok. I dunno where to begin.
I'll start from now. Right now, i'm crying, as i predicted around 4 days ago. Then, i felt like crap. I felt lonely and alone and pathetic...And well, like crap. I cried then too, thinking about how i'd be all alone on my 16th bday (ppl couldn't come thanx to the darling phy test- i tell u phy ruins lives...) and feel like shit and sorry for myself and cry.
Wee. I'm crying now. But because i've realised how loved i really am and what an ingrate i am to not realise it and thank god.
Sam and prachi and nripsuta turned up today at eleven-ish with a cake and eatables and the card. I was sitting on the bed, in PAJAMAS and with OILED HAIR and talking on the phone with mansi.
-_-;

Hey, I was going to take a bath when mansi called... :( ,don't blame me
i freaked out. And i was really happy. I ran to my room to change and sat on the bed for 5 minutes to come to terms with what happened. Then, after sam banged on the door, i finally changed and went outside to get a beard of chocolate (i turned into a man on my sixteenth birthday! Unfortunately, not from a boy, but a girl. Fortunately for 10 minutes only.)
we ate. We chatted. They confessed about their conspiracy. How they did it. The planning and the dodging me to get the card signed etc etc
and the card... Its AWESOME. I love it. Sam must have died making it. The amount of effort and detail and work made my heart melt. It also explained Divyanshu disappearing during the eng period when shreya (not ghobi, not dhobi, but section g wali) called him. We teased him all day about it, asking him why he went and talked to a girl whose name he doesn't even kno ("oh ho... FLIRTING!!!"). And seal signed it. He SIGNED NICELY!
The world is weird.
Then sam left *sniff*
then nripsuta's dad came and she had to go.
Prachi stayed till 2. We chatted. We discussed. We looked up phy derivations and even tried a phy experiment (a ring n a bead.Got a bead. Ok. Got a ring. Ok. Wait....Wtf, ring to be 2m long???).
After prachi left, i decided to read sam's letter thing. I'd saved it for last so i could read it aaram se and savor it.
A while later, when i was still reading it, mom walked into the room and just stood there cleaning up the table a bit and looking around. I really started getting irritated cause i was getting senti reading sam's letter and i wanted to be alone for a while. She asked me a few questions and i got more irritated on being interrupted and wished she would leave. I was going back to reading it, when i realised something. This is my mom. She bloody gave birth to me. She's the reason i'm alive and have a stupid birthday. Thus, birthdays should actually be about the kids and mothers. All the importance is given to the kid on the birthday and the mom is sort of forgotten in the celebration. She had been the biggest part of the whole thingy.
Dunno if you get what i mean.
Whatever, i felt like a sore asshole. I looked up to see mom walking out of the room. I ran after her and gave her a big large hug, and mentally slapped myself for ever being irritated with my mom. I then quickly walked into my room to hide my tears.
A few seconds later my mom yelled at me to go have my bath and i couldn't help but smile.

Just made me realise that there are so many things we're not thankful for.
Thanks mom, sam,chi, nripsuta, manvi, vani, shreeda, mansi, nayani, jismi, ankita etc etc.

i'm drunk right now

2008-10-07T19:42:00.000+05:30

Hello ppl. I'm here to declare my ...er... undying love for adi cause i have nothing at all to do to entertain myself. You see, the Arse has been app ignoring me, and i've been doing the same to him, and didn't care until today when i went through my blog.

I miss him. :(

I miss his darling snappy comments. Me making fun of him in public. Insulting his ugly face and his son.
I didn't care till today. Now i realise pissing him off was so much fun and wonder why i didn't miss it before.
I'm a sadist, i know, but irritating him gave me infinite pleasure.
Even now, reading through his terribly mean comments, i can't help but laugh and smile at my witty comebacks and derive pleasure from the insults he recieved from me in the past.
Aw.
*sniff*

i miss u adi

can't u come and quarrel with me one last time. just for old times sake?

woohoo?

2008-09-16T20:21:00.000+05:30

....So, i thought i'd lost my botany notebook and i went to the lost and found during the break between the coaching classes to search for it.
Manvi pulled on the handle of the door of the tiny lost and find room to realise that the door was locked from the inside.

We knocked.
We waited for five minutes.
We looked at each other.
We started laughing crazily.

Why? Well, imaging a REALLY tiny dark room. Put two guys in it. Add weird muffled noises. Close the door from inside. Add dirty minds.
What do you get?
Some really strange ideas.
As we waited we could hear weird muffled male voices. The door opened around 10 minutes later, and i couldn't help wondering why. And it was opened hz this guy, while another guy stood in a corner.

And yeah, i almost forgot...

The guy was buttoning his shirt as he opened the door.

Woohoo!
(you'll understand the double meaning if you play sims 2)

I think I saw blood

2008-08-30T16:10:00.000+05:30

Pushpanjali died.
On 27th, wednesday.
Some time between 3:30- 4:30
I found out about the matter in the bus after coaching. Megh said it might be murder, which caused me to laugh. The general news was that a girl cut the grill of the room window and jumped. No one knew who it was, but everyone was guessing. I found out her name when prachi called me to talk about the matter. She heard about the matter on tv. I went to watch tv too and find out more when harshit called. He was the one who confirmed that she had jumped from the bathroom window after authog the grill (the news channels had been confusing me by making up stories of her falling of balconies). He also told me that she was in C. I was really happy that i didn't know her as i knew i'd be depressed if i did.
No one had a clue why she suicided. She got almost full marks in all subjects. She was damn intelligent. Apparently, she was stressed.
The whole atmosphere was tense in school the next day. There was an assembly for her. People who didn't know her came and said that she was a beautiful child (that was divya)
All the head boys and head girls and a couple of more appointees, and the reps, the warden, the CT and the vice princi's were forced to say something about her. Almost all ended their speech (2 liners) with 'may her soul rest in peace'. The line got on my nerves after the first 100 times.
Ppl from C cried that day. Ppl in my class who knew her (quite a few, as 90% of my class are hostelers), were depressed. I was in a bit of a sucky mood too. I found it hard to maintain my usual happy 4 no reason mood.

And of course, the matter about me and sam maybe having seen blood didn't exactly improve my mood.
On wed, after coaching, i and sam went to get ice cream from the OAT vala area. There we saw that the ice cream shop was closed, so we loitered around there only. Then, i saw this puddle of something red. It was dry and shiny, like the paint on metals. I thought it was paint, and went 'ooo, dekho, dekho, khoon!'
and sam was like, 'haan, lagta hai koi mar gaya...'
and we generally crapped around.
On thursday, when we went to that area again, there was no sign of the puddle having existed.
Creepy.

Getting Dreamy

2008-08-16T13:47:00.001+05:30

I had a dream about a snake last night. A freaky, long, fat snake.
It freaked me out so i searched on the net about what it might mean. I found a couple of Dream dictionaries online so i searched a couple of things that i have dreamt about. The OR means that the next meaning is from another dream dictionary.

SNAKES
Snake represents hidden fears. Snakes can also symbolise the poisonous words and innuendo of the people around you.
OR
In some cultures, snakes are highly regarded and symbolize the ability to transcend into higher levels of consciousness or into areas of knowledge that exist outside perceived time and space.
Snakes emerging out of the ground may represent your unconscious or repressed materials coming to your conscious mind.
In the long run... The snake may be a positive symbol, it may represent difficulties that lead us to the center of personality and result in feeling of completeness.
OR
In Asian cultures, the snake is a symbol of wisdom in the form of earthly knowledge. If one dreams of snakes from this perspective, it is a dream of renewal, problem solving and good tidings in general.

Superstition- it was believed to see a lone snake and feel threatened by it in a dream means that you have a bad enemy that is working against you, it is also a warning against bodily harm from an enemy.

STORMS (I have dreams about storms quite regularly)
Dreaming of a storm represents disturbance. How you feel about the storm may indicate how you're responding or dealing with a disturbance in your waking life.
A storm is also a symbol of commotion. You might be feeling what is happening around you is out of control.
Also consider the storm as an outburst. It may represent an emotional flare up in your life that is quick to pass.
OR
To see a storm in your dream signifies overwhelming struggle, shock, devastating loss and catastrophe in personal affairs. It also represents unexpressed fears or emotions like anger, rage, turmoil etc. On a positive note, it may also mean the rising of spirit within

MURDER (i had a freaky dream in which i murdered a guy i didn't even know)
To dream that you killed someone forewarns that heavy stress may cause you to lose your temper and self-control.

DEATH (I've had seperate dreams of me, sam, my bro and my parents dying)
To dream that you have been killed suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions.
It may also represent a part of you or your life that you wish would leave you alone and stop creating a nuisance.

Death of a loved one suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality the loved one embodies.

I couldn't find anything on BOULDERS FALLING FROM THE SKY, a dream which i've had quite a few times, or about HAIR IN FOOD. I dreamt that just once, but the whole thing was so disgusting i can't forget the dream. I stopped having falling dreams about a year ago (thankfully, they suck and symbolize insecurity or something). I also couldn't find anything on a FREAKY, HUGE, DULL SUN NEAR THE HORIZON.
My dreams are plain freaky.

Adi is an ass, Part 3

2008-08-12T22:36:00.002+05:30

Ok, this the convo I mentioned in the last post.

11-08-08 14:33 Sam: Yer right though. I wouldn't have gone in even halfway without Prachi ...
14:55 Adi: Yea. Does she hate nature?
16:37 Adi: Nice to see you reply to my messages.
16:44 Sam: Ah sorry I was sleeping. No she doesn't.
16:47 Adi: If nature did that to me, i'd be furious. You know she was sitting on a chair, and her feet didn't touch the floor.
18:32 sam: I think Nature made up for that.
20:30 Adi: Maybe. But i'd still call it an unfair tradeoff.
20:45 sam: You rather be tall dark and handsome with vacuum inside?
20:49 Adi: You'd rather be as short as a cricket bat and look like a thousand volts of electricity are coursing through you?
20:54 sam: And be decently endowed with gray cells? Yes.
20:54 Adi: Wow. To each his own i suppose. Personally, i wouldn't want to be that far down the ugliness scale.
23:06 sam: Whoa! No way! You don't know what ugly means. You're hardly one to speak anyway.
23:08 Adi: And nor are you. In all truthfulness.
23:10 sam: Yeah, LoL. I'm not interested in being a model either.
23:12 Adi: Wise decision.
23:12 sam: What's depressing you so much these days though?
23:12 Adi: Nothing of your concern.
23:14 sam: Aha! So I got it right. Something IS depressing you. That's reassuring.
23:14 Adi: Yea something is. I never denied it. It's probably beneficial in the long run, but right now it's depressing. And not just to me.
23:16 Sam: Don't worry. It'll be beneficial in the long run. Just don't get it out on others.
23:17 Adi: That would be upto me. And i don't think you understood what i meant by beneficial.
23:18 sam: Maybe I don't. So?
23:18 Adi: So it wouldn't be wise to assume that you do.
23:22 sam: I didn't. I just copy pasted what you wrote.
23:23 Adi: You assumed you knew. By pasting what i wrote. So don't.
23:23 sam: I didn't assume. Anything. I just asked you not to take it out on others.
23:25 Adi: That was the other sentence. Maybe you should read that message.
23:30 sam: Whatever you say boss.
23:32 Adi: Sure.

Adi is an ass, part 2

2008-08-12T21:21:00.000+05:30

Ok, so this sms convo started when adi smsed sam saying that prachi is as short as a cricket bat. So, i smsed him regarding the same.
Here it goes...

Me-As short as a cricket bat? You long as a hairy street light! You waxy ear-hole! you bhusa brained cow! you father of your neighbours dog!

A-you'd think i insulted you by what you said.

Me-What is your problem with her? She's such a sweet girl! I know ur jealous, but had hoti hai! Why have u been acting so weirdly?

A-Shut the f up prince ass. Or i might have to do stuff you'll presently come to regret.

(note- here, i get into the 'sympathetic, i-know-you-have-a-prob-and-i-pity-you' mood, cause i know it irritates him)
me-Oh come on, what IS your prob? Something is wrong. Temme. U've been acting weird. As compared to the usual weird.

A-And you're right. She's not as short as a cricket bat. She's shorter. Her secret mysterious boyfriend must have brain damage.

Me-so, there is something up. Tujhe kisi ne kuch bola kya?

A- there's a lot i'm not going to tell u

Me-Well DUH! But y r u venting ur anger on us? Its not lyk ur ttlly vela or a totl sucker,but u've been mean a lot of tyms 4 no rsn.Its even Not d funny mean. Y?

A-f off

me-You're being so mean n u're not sarcastic or funny nemore and behave like an idiot. Y?

A- i'm not sarcastic. I'm deadly serious.

me-Exactly. U used to be. And u used to b irritating, but fun to b around. Not boring or mean. Now you are. Y?

A- Enough. Leave. Me. Alone.

Me- answer me.

A- not in this lifetime.

Me- what is up with you?

A- Bye.

Adi is an ass

2008-08-10T13:08:00.002+05:30

Yellow.
Here's a sms convo btw me n adi that took place this morning. I put it up cause it so damn funny....

10:40 adi- i am I'm exempted! Woohoo!

10:54 me- Relax. I already know that. Quite flaunting. Go drown yourself. And take ur phone with u or delete my pics.

10:56 a- Oh ya. Your pics. I forgot all about them. I'm gonna post them all over facebook by evening.

10:57 me- You're doing nothing of the kind. I know you're obsessed with me, but yeh to had ho gayi...

10:58 a- watch me

10:59 me- Won't. ur too bhayanak. I'll have nightmares tonight.

11:00 a- ok then. You can always see your pics.

11:02 me- Oh, i know i'm looking cute in them...

11:02 a- yea. Like my dog.

11:03 me- your dog looks like you, not me.

11:08 a-You've never seen my dog. If i didn't know better i'd say he was your twin. Same intelligence level too. All he does is fetch.

11:10 me-I haven't seen ur dog, but i've seen u. u look a lot like a dog. And i've heard ppl say that ur dog is more intelligent than u, and it taught u to fetch.

11:12 a-Yea. And i don't have a dog. So go clean out those centuries of wax. Half wit.

11:12 me- the NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to the nearest hospital to be put down. We apologize for any inconvenience.

11:15 me- yeah. And you can't even fetch. You're too dumb to be able to do even that.

11:17 a- Now that i come to think about it, my neighbour has a pug that looks exactly like you. Are you sure it's not your sibling or something? I mean, it would fit right in. No one would ever make out the difference. Ever.

11:18 me- i heard he's your son.

11:19 a- oh no. I don't believe in polygamy. He's really your sibling.

11:22 me- Don't try and disown that poor little son of yours!!
*horror* aaj kal ke ma-baap, zimmedari lete hi nahi...

11:24 a-I don't much want to adopt your sibling either. He's too much like you. Way ugly.

11:28 me-Come on... Don't say that about your real son. Kitna bhi ugly ho, hai to tumhara beta hi na. Must have got his good looks from you.

11:30 a-He's your sibling. I do NOT have the misfortune of being your father.

11:33 me-But you are fortunate to have a beautiful son like him who has the misfortune of resembling you. He needs you. Don't deny him.

11:35 a-No. He needs you. So he'l know he's not the ugliest person in the world. Then he has something to be grateful for.

11:38 me-Yup. He needs me to get his ugly father to accept him, and show him where he got his pretty face 4m, so he can sigh with relief-"atleast i'm not as bad as dad"

11:39 a- he's your sibling. I'm not your father 1+1=2

11:43 me-He's not my sibling. You're his father. 2+2=4

11:44 a-I'm sorry to break it to you, but he is your shaking. The resemblance is uncanny.

11:45 me-He is your shaking??? Go to hell. I'm not replying anymore.

11:46 a-Lol. Sibling. Haha. My ribs hurt from laughing so hard.

11:53 me-Dis is a telephone terrorst team.Wyl recievng dis mssg a virus wll b activatd. Dis virus shld hv infctd ur phone by now. ur phone wll b disabld,unlss u r ugly.

Survey

2008-08-01T18:38:00.000+05:30

"Subohi",he said "you're arrogant, you know."
"huh?!? Kaise?"
"Jaise tu behave karti hai na, usse."

Thats it.
Such a small conversation. And it made me go crazy for a week. I went around asking people if i was arrogant or not.

Here's the result of the survey.
Ppl asked- lots
Ppl who answered in negative- almost all
Ppl who answered in positive- 2

Ok. So most answered in negative, either because they're too nice or i am.

The 2 ppl who answered in positive were-

Meghavarshini- yup, our darling tomboy.
She said "Jitna hona chahiye, utni hai. Its not like you won't talk to ppl and be stuck-up, but you also don't behave like a wimp." (this is in my words. She was speaking in Hindi and i forgot what exactly she said) "But you're not that arrogant. If you were, you wouldn't have been worrying about it now, or thinking about it."

Prachi- Our darling cute-but-damn-intelligent-little girl.
She said, "You are. And maybe its a good thing you are. You don't take any crap from anyone."

Well, i have to say that i'm flattered. I asked the guy what exactly i did to make him think i was arrogant. He has promised to tell me the next time i act arrogant.

And yeah, IF i am arrogant, hell yeah, i'm proud of it.

Faltu ka info-
our team name for interrobang (for which we qualified second, but didn't win) was My Foot, thought by who else, but your footness, Poison.
It was pretty dramatic, the announcement.
Ishan goes, "And the second team to qualify with 10 points is.... My Foot!"
and everyone looks around silently,wondering whats going on and what he means. No one claps.
We were silently high five-ing and getting up when someone finally spoke, realising that its a team name, "yeh kaun hai?"

Faltu ka info #2-
This ad on Hit 95 fm has me laughing everytime i hear it.
"What is your idea of a great time?" voice A asks
"A great time? Just give me a TIGER, and i'll have a TIGER TIME!"
then voice A informs you how "you too can have a TIGER TIME at any of these tiger parks!"
Yeehaw.

Aaj bahut ajeeb din hai.

2008-07-23T14:28:00.002+05:30

Ok. Today is totally weird.
All of a sudden, ok, so maybe not THAT suddenly, in the AVH, this guy told me that this other guy has a crush on me.
Then, I go out of the AVH, my friend suddenly tells some other guy that she had a crush on him.
Both the things happened in the last perod today, and my reaction to both was "WHAT??!!"

For the first,cause it doesn't seem like the guy likes me(lets call him A). But then the guy who told me about it(lets call him B) seemed pretty sincere and wouldn't lie for no reason. And yeah, he told me "Jab dekho, to pata chalta hai."
Well......
Maybe that could be. Its pretty apparent to us girls when a another girl likes a guy, cause of the way she behaves, but the guys doon't get a clue. It could be the same for me.
Any ways, I've told B that I'll kill him if he was lying.

For the 2nd, I was surprised cause i thought she'll never tell him.

I'm shaken.

Haiku

2008-07-20T17:40:00.003+05:30

I'm doing this vela post though i have better things to blog about, just because irritating adi is fun.

Here's some haiku on him (yes, i used a syllable counter).

I hate Aditya
Why does he like me so much??
He looks horrible

I love it. Its a masterpiece.

next:

Snow is nice panda
save pandas from predators
and from Aditya

And ya, whats the point of haiku anyways??
It doesn't rhyme, you have to count the stupid syllables and it sounds horrible.
Why did anyone invent it???
*sheesh*

I am a Kriminal

2008-07-13T21:03:00.002+05:30

So, our school teachers suggested we read our almanac. Our CT actually gave us 15 min to read it. I was getting dead bored, so i decided to flip through it and surprsingly, i came upon a very interesting quiz called "Do the right thing, Say the right thing." I scored 21 out of 24 on it.

OK, OK, it isn't a quiz, its the list of rules which we SHOULDN'T break.
Wow. i scored 21/24!!!
I'm a criminal!!!

Here is the list.

1. Disfiguring or damaging school property. Untidy and unruly behaviour in class. - well, DUH i've broken this rule. I've scratched my name on tables, i swore at people and i've thrown pieces of paper on the floor. Ha!

2. Bunking classes and monday tests- you aren't a true dipsite if you haven't bunked.

3. Bunking school- Na, thats one i haven't done.

4. Sloganeering and signature campaigns.- I DID sign for the signature campaign for "SAVE THE TIGER". I dunno if its against the rules.

5. Bringing cell phones to school- come on, everyone who has a cell phone does.

6. Use of violence in any form- I've slapped jangu.

7. Scribbling or writing anything on shirts or uniform- Lemme think, i think i've scribbled "kick me" and "420" on lots of people's shirts. umm..yea, i have.

8. Using abusive language- Who the fuck said i've broken this one???

9. Not wearing the proper school uniform- yea, i've worn winter shirts during summer time, exchanged green for white shirts and even worn jeans.

10. assembling or going to PPC- I haven't ASSEMBLED, but i've gone there.

11. Bringing, wearing, buying, selling or possesing any kind of gament with slogans written on them- I've brought, worn, bought and possessed (still possess actualy,) them, but not sold.
*clicks tongue* no way that i'd do such a hideous thing.

12. Damaging, scribbling or tearing pages from library, text or exercise books- not library, but i've torn lotsa pages from my exercise books. i mean, who hasn't!!!

13. Brining sharp and injury causing articles such as knives, etc- i got my swiss army knife for 2 yrs till an asshole stole it.

14. Bringing books, CD's etc. not relevent to their course work- yada, yada, who the hell made this rule anyways????

15. Bringing costly articles (like expensive watches, cameras, fountain pens , i pods)- FOUNTAIN PENS????? are u kidding me???

16. Bullying or using any from of violence against a fellow student- refer to rule #6
17. Smoking, gambling, drinking or using drugs- No Way.

18. Possession of crackers or bursting crackers in school -Na, i'm a good girl.

19. Throwing of colour on one another within or near the school premises- I've dropped ink on someone.

20. Bringing more than Rs. 30/- for canteen purposes- Rs 30/- does NOT feed 20-30 hungry teens yelling for a treat on your birthday.

21. a) Entering school without uniform even after school hours- think class assembly.
b) Bringing civil clothes at any point of time- read rule # 21 a)

22. Late arrival in classes- everyday matter.

23. Late arrival in school- happened a few times.

24. Misconduct, indiscipline and misbehaviour in school transport- huh???

How much do you score??? Anyone who beats me gets a treat!!!
And yeah, who the hell made these stupid rules????

Dumb things I thought and did when i was a kid

2008-07-04T20:29:00.002+05:30

All of us,thought and did stupid things when we were kids. Here's a list of mine. No criticism allowed.

#1 I believed that Indians got indipendence by beating the crap otta the British and killin' 'em all. No idea where i got the idea from- But i freaked out one day, when i discovered that Brits lived in England. I concluded that other Indians didin't know about it, cause if they did, they'd have killed the rest of the Brits too. Ad yeah, i DID want them to.

#2 I got into a hbit of asking my mom everyday, "dopahar ho rahi hai kya???/ is it afternoon????" I simply couldn't understand what timeof the day was "dopahar"/ afternoon.
Morning was the time you woke up. Evening was when the sun went down. Night was when you slept.
When the hell was afternoon?!?!?!

#3 A lot of planes pass over my house during th night. When we first shifted here, i thought that they were sounds made by dinosaurs who lived in the nearby park.

#4 I also believed for a long time that it became day and night because somebody changed the scene aroundour house, just like they do in plays.

#5 I thought the moon followed me.

#6 I was once very fascinated by how sometimes, it became sunny and shady abruptly. I didn't understand that it was just because clouds passed in front of the sun.
I once asked a senior in school (she was in 5th, i was in 3rd). She smiled and shook her head importantly, "tumhe badi classes mein pata chalega!!"

#7 I tried to smuggle a stray puppy into the house.
My parents (duh) found out (duh) and sent it back (duh).

#8 I thought my brother was an ass. I was wrong. My brother is brainless. Asses have brain (I mean the donkey vala ass, you pervert!!!)

Something cute and deep

2008-06-29T17:14:00.001+05:30

"Real isn't how you're made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like beng wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real,most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things won't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

~from THE VELVETEEN RABBIT by Margery Williams

Searching

2008-06-28T15:37:00.002+05:30

I've been having a couple of pretty similar dreams.

The last time I had similar dreams was 2-3 yrs ago when i kept dreaming about falling from high bulidings. They stopped a long time ago. Now i know that they symbolize insecurity, but i dunno what the dreams i'm having now mean.

I've been dreaming about searching.
And not finding.

I've had 3 till now.

In the first one, i was searching for this guy in a party.I was in a club or something and searching for that guy on the dance floor. I desperately tried to find him, prodding everyone in the crowd to ask. I was still searching, when a phone began to ring. i realised it was my phone and i hoped it was the guy calling. then i woke up to see that my phone was ringing in reality.

In the second one, i was in the library, apparenty in school, because i was worrying about the period ending, but it didn't look at all like our school library. I was searching for a book. I kept searching. And searching. And searching. I was running around everywhere, trying to find it. But then the bell rang and i woke up.

In the third one, i was in a metro station with my parents. We were waiting for a train. There, i was searchingfor tis type of chocolate/biscuit sorta thingy in the bakery there. I kept searching through these trays and trays of assorted pastries and things, trying to find it. I couldn't before the train came and i had to go.

Why the hell am i searching for things!?!??!
Why don't i get them!?!??!

*sob*

Stupid Things Said

2008-06-26T17:19:00.006+05:30

"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter

"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard (Dicky) Nixon

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca

A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn

We understand the importance of having bondage between parents and their children. Dan Quayle

"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. - Weisert

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper
in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-Batman costume warning label

"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
-Gerry Brown

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

"I was provided with addtional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

"I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor

If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
-- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

Irony

2008-06-18T04:10:00.000+05:30

We got free batteries with our DVD player remote a few months back. They're of some strange company.
They're the first batteries i've seen who've 'leak-proof' written on them.
Ironically, they're also the first i've seen leaking.

Irritayting, once more.

2008-06-06T14:48:00.000+05:30

I was in the bathroom. The house was empty. Mom had gone to the market. The maid had left a while ago.
And i, i was wet and soapy, and in the middle of my bath, when the phone rang.

Ring...
I thought about ignoring it. The person could call later.

Ring...
But what if it was one of my friends? I couldn't talk to them while i'm soaped up, but i could ask them to call later. Na, they'll call later themselves.

Ring....
What if its mom. She won't call unless its important. Maybe, i should get the phone. No, she'll call again later even if i don't.

Ring....
What if dad's calling? He's in mumbai. If he's calling, its bound to be important. But then again, he'll understand...

Ring...
SHIT.
What if its my grandpa? My smallest 4yr old cousin is sick in hospital. What if something has happened to him?!?!
That thought made me bolt. I grabbed a towel and jumped outta the bathroom.

COUSIN!!!! WAIT! I'm coming!!!

The phone had been ringing too long... What if grandpa cut the phone?

I ran and picked it up.
"hello?" i said fearfully.
Wait, what the hell am i saying? I should ask if he's ok. If he's alive. If he's serious. If he's out of hospital or not.

"hello madam?? Blahblahblahblah...."

huh? I drifted off as grandpa kept on blabbing, ignoring his words. Grandpa called me madam? Wait, that's not my grandpa!

"wait,what?"
"madam, do you want an insurance?"

Amazing. Fantastic. I ran from the bathroom for insurance.
Cool. What the *$@# ?!?!

"No thanks" now keep the bloody phone please.
"But ma'am.... Listen to the whole scheme..."

Thats it. That did it.

" You really enjoy calling people and torturing them, don't you? " i said in a sickly sweet voice.
"ma'am?"
"you're selling insurance, aren't you?"
"yes"
"GOOD! Get yourself one, cause the next time you call, i will personally hunt you down and kill you!" i snapped and slammed the phone.

Boy! That felt good! He deserved it after dragging me out of my bath. It made up for all the times these horrible insurance and credit care people called and tortured us.
Maybe it was mean, he was just doing his job, but it felt good. Damn good.
I hate these advertising people. They get your number from somewhere and make it a point to torture you by calling at the most inappropriate times.
Losers.

Happy

2008-05-31T18:13:00.000+05:30

Happy.
Its a nice word. I like it.
I like it the same way i like the words chamgadad (bat in hindi) and obnoxious.
They sound nice to say, the way they roll off your tongue.

So what makes you happy?

Does a direct jump from 70% in pre-boards to 91% in boards make you happy?
In my case it doesn't. As yet, i'm not sure why.

So, what does make you happy?

Some will think me crazy reading the things listed here. The dumbest things can make me happy, somethings that are worthless to others.

Like rain. And a cloudy sky.
I'm a sucker for rain. A bit of drizzle makes my day.
And i love cloudy days. They're lazy, not too bright, not too dark. Also, you never can guess what time is it, on cloudy days. It might as well be evening, though its afternoon.
I like that feeling of time-less-ness.

Then, i like stuffed toys. The fluffy and cuddly ones. They just make you wanna hug them.

Nice soft songs that you can sing along with, songs that remind you of things, especially songs that you used to like, but haven't heard for a while make me happy.
Listening to them, the world seems... I dunno, perfect?

And yeah, my parents and friends make me happy. Just seeing my mom smile at me everyday in the morning makes me happy.

Long endless drives to nowhere at night make me happy. Delhi is beautiful at night. Especially on windy days.

And yeah, obviously, wind makes me happy. Strong, chilly gusts of wind.

Thats about it. I'm sorry, but gadgets, marks, t.v. serials, food and other worthless,pain-in-the-ass, materialistic things don't (stuffed toys are NOT materialistic thingies).

The things i've listed above, i THINK they make me happy. Cause i don't think the feeling they cause could be described as anything else.

That feeling of completeness. Like life couldn't be better. As if there's nothing more you need. Actually, sometimes, there isn't.

Dunno.... THE CBSE 10TH RESULT

2008-05-29T08:51:00.000+05:30

Marks-

English.. 92
Maths.. 94
Science.. 90
French.. 80
Sst.. 94
IT.. 96

total % - 91

Am i happy? I dunno.
No, its not because of the 'Nerd's Excuse' that "I should have got more....*weep* "
Na, its more than i expected. My parents are overjoyed. And i am.... Dunno.
I'm not happy like ppl should be, going crazy, yelling, with grins on their faces.

Is it because i don't care?
No, i do care. But.... Dunno.

I'll Carry You Home

2008-05-25T18:37:00.000+05:30

"Trouble is her only friend and he's back again.
Makes her body older than it really is
She says its high time she went away
no ones got much to say in this town.
trouble is the only way is down.
down. down.
As strong as you were,
tender you go...
i'm watching you breathing for the last time.
a song for your heart.
but when it is quiet,
i know what it means and i'll carry you home.
i'll carry you home.

if she had wings, she'd fly away
and another day, god will give her some.
trouble is the only way is down.
down. down.
as strong as you were, tender you go...
i'm watching you breathing for the last time.
a song for your heart, but when it is quiet,
i know what it means and i'll carry you home.
i'll carry you home.

and they were all born pretty in new york city tonight.
and someones little girl was taken from the world tonight.
under the stars and stripes.

as strong as you were, tender you go.
i'm watching you breathing for the last time.
a song for your heart.
but when it is quiet.
i know what it means and i'll carry you home.
i'll carry you home."

This song is by James Blunt. Its called Carry You Home.
I saw its video on VH1, and it really touched me. I actually cried the first time i saw it. I dunno why. It just made me feel very sad.
But it also made me think. In the video, James is shown carrying the dead soldier's few possessions to his girlfriend/wife, though he's singing that he'll carry HIM home.
Not that it doesn't make sense. It does. It makes more sense than i imagined it would.
Its true, after we're dead, we just become memories. The things we owned and were associated with us, sort of become us, cause they carry the memories. For the people who love us,those things are a reminder of who we were.
You can go watch the video on YouTube.

Cool. My mom got me a pichka-ring, and is probably wishing she didn't cause i keep squirting everyone in the face, including her. I wonder if it'll remind her of me someday.
Hmmm.....

poem

2008-05-11T21:26:00.001+05:30

Do you decide
where you are going?
Or like me,
you let yourself
be dragged away by somebody?

Do you face
whatever happens?
Or like me,
you lie hidden
behind lies, for eternity?

Do you cry
when you feel like it?
Or like me,
you hold it in
to escape mockery?

Do you smile
in your sleep?
Or like me,
you try waking
to forget what you see?

Do you delight
in what you did?
Or like me,
you wish it hadn't
gone so badly?

Like me,
do you sleep,
when you wish to wake?
do you laugh,
when you wish to weep?
do you wander,
though you know the way?
do you embrace,
those you wish to murder?

Do you do
what you want?
Or like myself,
don't realise,
the only one stopping me,
is me.

Do you enjoy
all that life brings?
Or like me,
you crawl through it,
though you were born with Fire Wings.

Of nails, swearing and sudden trips

2008-05-11T21:22:00.000+05:30

Of nails- I'd been growing my nails for a month and they'd grown very long. No one failed to notice them, though they evoked different reactions in different people, like delight ("oh! They're looking nice..."), disgust ("they're soooo long."), inspiration ("i'm going to grow mine too!"), jealousy ("my nails don't seem to grow at all."), exasperation ("i've told you a dozen times, CUT YOUR NAILS!",that, was my mom), and horror (people sitting next to me while playing Contact were afraid i'd slice their fingers off....).
So- i finally cut my nails last week. (Punya- "what??? You cut them??? You call this cutting??? You can kill someone with those!")
and it turned out to be a good thing that i did, because on wed, i banged one of my nails into the hard, metal back of the bus seat and yelled so loudly that half the bus turned to look.
If they'd been any longer, i swear they'd have snapped into two.
Ouch.

Of swearing- i've started to swear a lot there days ("what the....."fill in the blanks with any appropriate 4 letter word.). God forgive my sins.

Of sudden trips- firstly, i'd like to tell everyone that jahangir and adi are......something that if i wrote here would get me banned from blogger.
A week ago, i had given my name as an "avid reader" from my class, and that was a good thing as on wednesday, the lovely library department people suddenly told up to assemble in the library for a trip to the american library.
Going there was fun. I, sam, prachi, and prerna occupied the last seat while adi, jangu and punya sat on the second last one, and HELL, are they IRRITATING or what?!?!? They completely ate my head with their perverted jokes.
On reaching the center, we were immediately supplied with cookies, appie fizz, and a weird mango-orange combo juice. We attempted to look mannered and dignified as we put on a oh-i-don't-usually-eat-tons-of-free-cookies look, as we helped ourselves.
Then, we were given a lecture on studying in the US, after which we say a bum-oriented documentary about Air Force 1, the US prez's plane. Wondering what i mean by bum-oriented? Well, the documentary had more shots of peoples backsides's than of their faces.
The movie would have been boring if it hadn't been for my and sam's funny commentary which got us choking with laughter and earned us many strange looks. When we came out, we were in one of our hysterical-humorous moods, when we would start laughing at the drop of the..... forget hat, even a pin would do the job.
Unfortunately, we had to look around the extremely-boring-dripping-of-heroism-and-amazing-ness-of-the-US library. Needless to say, i kept giggling for no reason and got scolded by our darling teachers.
The trip back sucked.
A few guys came and occupied the last seat, so i used my head and slipped into the second-last seat. Adi and Punya sat beside me and jangu was left seatless. He and Prerna disappeared somewhere,while sam and prachi sat with the guys, behind us.
I felt like killing adi (i still do now, but not as badly as i wanted to then.....) because he kept pushing punya on top of me and i couldn't sit properly. And his sick jokes didn't make him anymore bearable.
When we got back, the last period had begun, so i bunked it with a couple of more people. We sat around on A block, first floor, watching some 8thies practice a dance sequence for their assembly.
There, i saw written on a wall, "guys are the bigest losers", and some one had written "you bet!". On impulse, i wrote "i agree", and signed. Four more people signed. You can go and sign too, if you want.

And yes, i'm doing this (look below...) only cause rudy hates it.
LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WENT WITH US ON THE TRIP
Me, sam, prachi, mini, prerna, prerna, avantika, sonal, punya, jangu, adi, amrita, isha, vinayak, rudrath, shreya, a weird guy whose name i dunno, naman, divyanshu, anuj, and other people who i know, and more others who i dunno.

Memory

2008-05-02T21:11:00.000+05:30

I hate not being able to remember things.
No, i don't have memory loss, its just that i can't recall things.
For eg. I tortured myself for 6 months trying to remember a song of which i remembered just one line- "i just want u to know who i am." i didn't remember anything before or after the line. Not even the tune. I finally found the song on my bros laptop and my soul rested. I'd actually heard that song around 2 yrs ago for the last time....
Then, i was haunted by the line "you love me, but you don't know who i am." i found out the name of the song on the radio.
Nowadays, i can't remember what i'd been thinking about a minute ago. I get lost thinking about something, and when i wake up, i forget about it.
And yes, another line whose song i can't remember- "you can touch, you can play, you can say i'm always yours."
Please help me. Which song is it from?

Devil's Dictionary- B

2008-05-02T20:00:00.000+05:30

Here's the second part of my favourites from Devil's Dictionary-

Bacchus- a convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. (guys? remember this one from last year?)

Backbite- to speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

Battle- a method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that wouldn't yield to the tongue.

Beauty- a power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Befriend- to make an ingrate.

Behavior- conduct, as determined not by principle, but by breeding.

Bigot- one who 's obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you don't entertain.

Birth- the first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it, there appears to be no uniformity.
Castor and Pollox (whoever they were) were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea as once a block of stone. Leucumedun was the son of a cavern in Mount Aena, and i myself have seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

Body-snatcher- a robber of grave worms. One who supplies the young physician with that with which the old physician supplies the undertaker. The hyena.

Bore- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Bottle nosed- having a nose created in the image of its maker.

Brandy- a cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified satan.

Bride- a woman with fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Brute- see HUSBAND.

Devil's Dictionary- A

2008-04-27T19:43:00.000+05:30

I read a book called The Devil's Dictionary. Its one of the very-amusingly-saying-the-truth books. These are my favourites from 'A'. The rest will soon follow-

Abnormal- not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

Aborigines- persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber;
they fertilize.

Abrupt- sudden, without ceremony. Like the arrival of the cannon-shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it.

Absurdity- a statement or a belief manifestly inconsistent with ones own belief.

Accuse- to affirm anothers guilt or unworth, most commonly as a justification of ourselves having wronged him.

Acquaintance- a person we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight gen object is poor or obscure but intimate when object is rich or famous.

Adder- a species of snake. So called for its habit of adding funeral outlays to other expenses of living.

Admiration- our polite recognition of anothers resemblance to ourselves.

Affliction- an acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.

African- a nigger who votes our way.

Ambidextrous- able to pick with equal skill, a right hand or a left hand pocket.

Ambition- an overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Apologize- to lay the foundation for a future offence.

Auctioneer- the man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

The Slaves Of The Cells

2008-04-24T19:02:00.000+05:30

Cell phones and their owners are hard to seperate. Like me and my cell.
I was actually suprised when i realised how much i depend on it.
I make calls with it.... And sms too, of course....
I listen to songs on it.
I use it to make quick notes and write down imp stuff, when i don't have a pen, and even when i do....
I take pics with it...
I blog with it...
I google with it...
I check my mail on it...
I surf the web on it (this happens more rarely than the 3 things above, which cannot b included in 'surfing the web' according to me)
I download and read e-books on it...
I play games on it...

Its like the ultimate handy dream machine. And things are going to just get better.
Ppl are getting very dependent on their cells.
And yeah... I almost forgot to mention what inspired me to write this post...
Even my maid has a cell now. I was in my room, when i heard a strange ringtone which certainly wasn't mine and i was wondering what was up... and then i heard my maid going 'hello, haan? Chinto theek hai na?'

The Future etc.

2008-04-21T20:13:00.000+05:30

Do u want to know your future?
I don't. And i find those people dumb who want to.
Earlier, when I was a kid, I did wish I could've known the future to prevent mistakes and probs from arising later in life.
Now, I've lost that wish. I think I was dumb to wish that.
Its pathetic. I think the future is governed by your actions now. So if you think before you act, your future will be great.
And even if we suppose that the future is already decided and our life depends on fate, I really don't want to know. It'd take all the fun out of life, to know what will happen.
And for that reason, I even hate all those rashi / number / tare / tarot future-telling shows on the news channels. They don't have any news, so all of them have hired a pundit/tarot lady each to tell ur future 5 times a day.
And people actually watch that.
And even call in.
"Meri shadi kab hogi?" Man, find some other aim in life than to get married or to call pundit ji.
"Mera promotion kab hoga?" When you start working hard rather than calling in like a vela on this show.

Idiots.

Then these ppl even give upayes to get a better future, like,
"raat ko, suraj dhalne ke baad, neem ke ped ke neeche beth kar Gita pado" (wtf???)
or "ketu ko majbut karne ke liye kutte ko shanivar ke din roti aur mithai khilaen"

You can try the above amazing remedies if you want.

2008-04-21T20:05:00.000+05:30

Hey Shadab Bhai,
Happy B'day in advance. I suppose everything is fine with u, but u better study hard(er).
I'm in 11th now. Classes started last week. I took science, with bio. Damn, its been a long time since I even talked to u. The boards went well and the results will be out on 27 may. I didn't do a lot, actually, I didn't do anything in the holidays after the boards... I just sat around and watched movies. And yeah, I finally convinced mum n dad to get the DVD player. We got it a few days after the boards.

Everything is k, except that I'm in a class full of NERDS. They study ALL THE TIME. Before the teacher comes, and after the teacher goes, they study all the time. They're crazy. Thankfully, we'll b reshuffled in july.
Also, I'll b coming on TV. I n sam participated in this show for NDTV metronation. You basically were given a topic, camera and 2 days to make a vid. Our topic was Yamuna. Pretty horrible topic, but filming the whole thing was fun.
We even used their cam to make vela vids of us, pretending to b reporters reporting how the country was being terrorized by ppl (most prob. Taliban) who were stealing "bain-per ke jute" (shoes of the right foot)... K, I kno its dumb, but it was very funny too. I'm going to ask those ppl to give us the whole vid, even the things that were edited out (like the taliban vid) on a CD.

So, tell me whats up with u? Tell me abt ur plans for ur b'day too.
And yes, STUDY. I kno u sleep a lot and sleep late. Try studying.

E-mail me quick.

Chao
A, ur sis (duh!)

OMG. OMG.

2008-03-20T17:38:00.002+05:30

OMG. I read in the paper that 8% of tampon users in Tamil Nadu are men. I wondered about what the hell they do with it.
Here's a list of what they apparently buy it for, which i googled-

1) To hold hemmaroid suppositories (what the hell does that mean?)

2) They can get toxic shock syndum (whatever that is)

3) Make tampon crafts (to bring menstrual joy to the holidays and fun to daily life) like-
a) string of tampon lights
b) tampon blowguns
c) tampon bandoliers to hold ammo for your gun
d) tampon toupees for receding hairlines
e) tampon cufflinks and neckties

4) Stuff it up your butt (what the hell for? I have no idea)

5) If you like to dress up or behave like women, then.......
Whateva I think its all very disgusting.

ALL PRAISE THE IDIOTS!!!

2008-03-02T10:01:00.002+05:30

Announcing the enterprising demises of the 2007 Darwin Award Winners

" Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by accidentally removing themselves from it. "
This was the year of the Squashed Darwin Award Winner. THREE independent groups of people attempted to remove the supports from beneath a barn, a water tower, and a heavy factory roof. In all cases, the structures collapsed without their aptly-named supports. Duh! This year brought us 16 jaw-droppping nominees, not counting new nominees for previous years and Near Misses (AKA Honorable Mentions) which I will cover in the next ish.
Enjoy the stories of the winners... and be glad you're not one!

RUNNER UP # FIVE:THE LAPTOP STILL WORKS (Confirmed True by Darwin)
"Driving is not a time to be practicing your multitasking skills," remarked CHP spokesman Tom Marshall, commenting on a 29-year-old computer tutor's decision to drive along Highway 99 in California while working on his laptop. He drifted over the center line, and was killed by oncoming traffic. CHP officers found Oscar's computer still running, plugged into the Honda Accord's cigarette lighter.
--------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
RUNNER UP # FOUR:SUPERIOR MOMENTUM (Confirmed True by Darwin)
June 2007, Illinois Two Valparaiso men tested their reflexes by playing "chicken" with a train. Which man could stay on the rail the longest in the path of an oncoming train? At the stroke of midnight, the contest was decided. The winner, aptly named Patrick Stiff, lost his life. The train continued on, as the conductor was unaware that it had hit anyone.
--------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
RUNNER UP # THREE:BARN DEMOLITION (Unconfirmed by Darwin)
January 2007, West Virginia) Three friends set out to dismantle a dilapidated barn one bracing winter afternoon. Speaking of bracing... One industrious man fired up his chainsaw and ripped through a crucial support post. Carrying the weight of a full barn roof, those wooden support beams were all that stood between the demolition worker and structural collapse. It was all fun and games until the roof, sans support, succumbed to the pull of gravity and flattened the man with the chainsaw. As a consolation prize, the deceased was indeed successful at demolishing the barn.
(Darwin notes, this story is unconfirmed, but no disputes have come to my attention, as usually happens with bogus stories.)

Addendum: This was the year of the Squashed Darwin Award Winner. Two other groups of people attempted to remove the supports from beneath a water tower, and a heavy factory roof. In both cases, the structure collapsed without their aptly-named supports. Duh!

--------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
RUNNER UP # TWO:MOLE HUNT (Confirmed True by Darwin)
January 2007, East Germany One man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a victory for the mole. The metal rods he pounded into the ground and connected to a high-voltage power line, electrified the very ground the man stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.

--------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
RUNNER UP # ONE:WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN (Confirmed Double Darwin Award)
June 2007, South Carolina A passing cabbie found a 21 year-old deceased couple laying naked in the road an hour before sunrise. Authorities were baffled. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked vehicles present. But investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes. Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof. "It appears as if [they] accidentally fell off the roof," Sgt. McCants said.

--------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
AND THE 2007 DARWIN AWARD WINNER IS...THE ENEMA WITHIN (Confirmed True by Darwin)
May 2004, Texas Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party.
Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!
When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.
The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. Toxicology reports measured his blood alcohol level as 0.47%.
In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

Check out the site at: http://www.darwinawards.com/

2008-02-26T16:51:00.001+05:30

Ok. I just a minute ago saw this recently released ad by Airtel and Nokia. It shows people from different places,situations and occupations clutching at their hearts when they hear the 'teen teen' of a call (apparently) ,as if it brings some dreadful news. In the end they show SRK who dutifully clutches his chest and declares - (not quoting) 'jab Airtel aur Nokia ka mel ho, to garv se bolo...' - and they show the dozen different people saying 'hello!'. Well I usually do not post perverted things, but I dunno why, I suddenly wondered why there weren't any women in the ad, as they were showing different people, what was this? Discrimination?
When I imagined how it'd look if they were there.... Well never mind........

Yeah!

2008-02-26T16:45:00.002+05:30

PPP won! But I'm surprised there wasn't any poll rigging. I mean, why did Musharaff let the polls be fair and all?
Hmmm....
Whatever, it's about time that he left. I don't suppose he could have handled any of the things going on around north of Pakistan. Maybe PPP would do better getting rid of the terrorists. Ok, they may not, but they'll certainly be more inclined to do it, since their own leader was killed that way.
But why am I happy? I don't live there, do I? No, but I am hopeful, like majority of Pakistanis that the new PPP-PML(N) government would do well. And make Pakistan a proper democracy, and live up to the peoples hopes.
It"s going to be all joy and celebration for a while, a nice change, I think, from all the violent and depressing occurrences.
I've actually been thinking of a e-pal of mine (who I haven't seen online for years). I wonder how he is. He lived in Islamabad, and wanted to be...Something. I forgot. I told him I wanted to be a pilot, and he said why? To bomb Pakistan? And he said something, I don't remember, but I think it was army or politics or something, cause I said, why? To declare war against India? He also had a small sister and I convinced her once to speak to me in 'Urdu'. Most people don't realise that common Urdu and Hindi are quite same. I told her that and i actually enjoyed talking to her in Hindi. I had mailed him once, when the earthquake had struck in Pakistan and north India. I was suprised to see, that though he lived in Islamabad, very near the epicenter, he and his comp was fine, as he was sitting online a day later. I find this quite suspicious.
Anyway, I wonder what he thinks of all the things going on now. Most people don't realise it, but we're like, witnessing history. For eg. i didn't care too much about the killings in Nepal a few years ago. And now, we're reading about it in our civics book. I was actually suprised to see that.

And yeah, why did PPP win? Well, it's obvious, that the people were hoping it would do better, and they sympathise with Benazir's family etc etc... And surprisingly, Bilawal seems to have a hand in it too, as young girls who think him 'hot', and are above voting age, went and voted for his party. But I'm content that he's not leading the party as yet. It's kind of monarchic, you know, mother dies, son inherits. He'd do well to lead later, when he's finished studying, and the other leaders are old.
And yes, a piece of advice for Mr. Bilawal, DO NOT MARRY A PAKISTANI GIRL. Nah, I'm not against them, but he'd do better to marry a Indian Muslim girl. It'd be so wonderful, a Pakistani leader unites India-Pakistan again, they become better friends than they ever were. Yeah! Cheers! Ok, Mr. Bilawal, you may not want to do it, but you must find a nice, popular, young Pakistani leader who would. It's for the nations! They should marry on the Wagah border.
*sniff* how lovely.
Hmmm... I'm blabbing too much today, hai na?

Boards Shoards

2008-02-26T16:36:00.003+05:30

Boards are coming,yeah, Boards are coming,yeah. And you know what? Surprisingly enough, I'm not tense at all, while SOME people are crying and banging their heads with tension.
I dunno why I'm not worried. Lots of people stay up till 3 am and them wake up at 7, to study again. I can't do that, ever! I hate compromising with sleep and I don't ever before an exam, as in, quickly go through the main points and every thing. I've found that it actually confuses me more than anything. I take extra care to sleep on time the night before an exam, and The Hindustan Times agrees with me. Quoting them, darlings -

"Inadequate rest impairs growth and learning and school students need seven to eight hours of sleep a day. Sacrificing sleep time studying is wasted as what is read is not retained. It's only when the brain is well rested that you can retain better."

I also remember reading an article ages ago about an experiment. Here, people were to remember simple patterns of placing cups or something. Like, the blue one comes first, red second, etc. The people who'd slept well remembered the pattern most correctly while the second group,who'd not slept, made more mistakes. It seems that the brain adjusts and arranges info acquired while we're asleep.
After reading that article, I'd made it a point to study facts or things that I found very confusing, in the night, before I went to sleep. Maybe its my imagination, but I those facts correctly now, without any confusion.
Good for me that I'm not worried. My friend's friend says that someone in her school hanged herself. She was a tenthie and an idiot. How can you suicide for marks?
I don't get it. Life's AMAZING. How can you give it up for marks? OK, it may not be amazing to her, but that means that she should try to make it better, not die!
Yeah, maybe it's about aiming. My aim is to study, while enjoying at times too. She probably aimed for more than she could manage, thus overloading.
No one can stand failure, thus the stupid act to ignore your 'failure'. Its all in the mind.
Why take tension? I think its very idiotic. Though it can fuel your will to work harder, too much is er.... not good.

Places to go

2008-02-18T17:02:00.000+05:30

Here are some visit-able places that you've probably never even heard of. Well,delhi is full of monuments,and you can't expect each of them to get the same attention can you?

ASOLA WILDLIFE SANCTUARY
Its close to tughlaq fort.
Its almost within city limits. If you want to go in,you should pay for a guide,its worth it. You'll find black bucks here(yeah,the same "protected" species that salman shot), nilgai, jackals, and deer.

AGRASEN KI BAOLI
It lies off hailey road,near connaught place.
Its a thousand-year old stepwell. It has 3 floors and is said to be haunted.

PATAUDI PALACE
Pataudi in Haryana
Nice place,green and everything, good place to spend a few hours relaxing. Built by Nawab Ibrahim Ali Khan,its home to the cricketer, Tiger Pataudi. Its 60 km from delhi.

Yes,all this info has been nicked off magazines.
A comment by my friend when i told her about all this- "Kya baat karti hai? A sanctuary in delhi? How come they spared it? I predict- apartments and malls to be seen there soon..."
Very likely to come true.

Holy Shit

2008-02-18T16:56:00.002+05:30

Ok. I suppose everyone knows about the book by Dan Brown, Da Vinci Code. Do you remember the reference to a picture called Madonna Of The Rocks/Virgin Of The Rocks (VOTR)? This para is from a book i was reading- Secrets Of The Code.The para is an excerpt from a para by Lynn Picknett

here it goes-
"...We should take a look at one of his other religious paintings, VOTR ... The following revelation is so sensational, so apparently ludicrous, as to appear the product of a Freudian delusion, or an infantile fantasy. Yet it should be remembered that Leo (da vinci) was primarily a hoaxer, a joker and illusionist- and that he hated the holy family ... clive and i wrote in the Templar Revelation that Leo was subtle in presenting his secret heretical code "for those with to see" and did nothing that was "the equivalent of sticking a red nose on st peter." But as we discovered more recently, we were wrong.
Do not think of the reverential hush of the great art galleries ... Think more of giggling school boys passing naughty scribblings behind the bike sheds ... A clue lies in the title of the painting- "rocks" was italian slang for testicles, ... Equivalent of the modern term-balls. And so it is that the reason for the mass of rocks above the holy family becomes shockingly obvious.
Almost growing out of the Virgin's head are two huge male "rocks"- topped with a massive phallus that rises to the very skyline,comprising no less than half the painting. The offending article is created out of a mass of rock, yet it is clearly discernible, and is even impudently topped with a small spurt of weeds. ... This is Leo the hoaxer and the heretic at his most audacious- and vicious. He created the grotesque make appurtenances deliberately, no doubt perversely and savagely inspired by the organisation commissioned by him ... With a giant penis growing out of her head, he is clearly saying "to those with eyes to see " that this is no Virgin.

Here are some visit-able places that you've probably never even heard of. Well,delhi is full of monuments,and you can't expect each of them to get the same attention can you?

Some Kidney Freak

2008-02-18T16:55:00.000+05:30

Aren't there times when you just want to kick someone hard in the ass? I want to. I want to kick that stupid doctor, Dr Amit Kumar.
Yes, the kidney guy.
He is so immensely besharam.
He gets caught, but instead of going nicely and quietly ("yes, i know i made a big mistake. I should pay for it, i agree. Lets go to jail."), he tries to actually bribe the nice police people! ("yes, i know i made a big mistake. I should pay for it, i agree. Here, i'll pay YOU! I think you don't get paid nicely enough. Here, here, take it. Bacchon ke liye mithai-vithai kharidna!).
And then, back in delhi, at the airport, he was smiling so nicely for the media. Hello? You are a criminal darling, not SRK with his bodyguard.
And the media is busy doing weird stuff. Instead of telling about his crimes, they tell us that his house hard kidney-shaped pools. Tch tch. Kidney obsessed, isn't he?
And they're also very busy naming him- Kidney Kumar, Dr kidney, Dr khaufnak, Kidney Kingpin and Khooni Kumar. My favourites are Dr. Dracula and Kidney Chor. The latter gives of visions of him diving at people and emerging with a kidney, to scuttle away at full speed.
And his looks are best described by my mom- "bilkul hevan jaisa lagta hai!"

Good vs Evil

2008-02-09T23:02:00.000+05:30

I installed a new facebook app, Good vs Evil, around a month ago. Just 1 person has voted as yet, and he voted me 100% evil. Well, the guy is a big weirdo, but i do agree i'm quite evil, and i'm not at all offended by his saying so. There's nothing wrong with being a bit evil, not in a way as to hurt someone emotionally or physically, but by being naughty. Also, i don't think being mean to the people who dislike you is wrong. Its not great to be good always, because-
#1 If it weren't for evil-ness, i don't suppose we'd appreciate goodness as much as we do. Also, that much niceness would make of gag. Imagine he there was always light, and on darkness at all, them you'd probably wish for a bit darkness, wouldn't you? Oh yeah, this brings of to...
#2 Too much sweetness is BORING. I'd certainly want a change. Somehow, in the quiz about what kind of guy you'd fall for, i got "sweet guy".
Ewwww...
I gave the quiz again, changed 1 answer, and got "the frat boy". Hmmm... Definitely my style. Come on, isn't the guy who plays Draco loved because of his evil grin? He is SO adorable.
I don't mind being a bit evil, but i suppose others do, and take it far too seriously. Take Anuj for example. I had a hard time convincing my parents to let of in to sam's house on the last pre-board, and we were trying to watch a movie in the little time we had. Then, anuj pops up. He bores me to death and tries to show up very pathetically boring clips, thus, wasting our movie-watching time. Should i act courteous? Well, i didn't. I called him a kamina. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings or anything, but to tell him that he's annoying. Sorry anuj, but you are irritating. Not that i'm not. I actually take pleasure in saying things that exasperate others and make them feel like banging their head on the wall.
So, the point is,don't be good always, or evil to the people who are nice to you, but he someone makes fun of you and you don't reply cause you're a goody-two-shoes, you'd be better off retaliating. And make sure neither side wins in the battle of good vs evil.

The suicidal tendencies of a hollow-horned, ruminant, quadruped mammal.

2008-02-09T22:53:00.001+05:30

We'd once gone to my dad's friend's house, and that's when uncle told up about this goat he'd got for bakra-id. He'd got a nice, white goat, and decided to keep it on the terrace. The goat was well-fed, happy, and full of goatly-goodness.
On id, when uncle went to fetch the goat, he couldn't find it! They found a while later lying atop a car parked on the ground floor. The goat had apparently jumped to its death.
My dad says- Stupid animal... How much did it cost?
Bro says- maybe it decided to suicide and become shaheed, rather than surrender to the butcher.
Me- hahahahaha...
Such was the story of the real shaheed bakri (remember that chapter?).

Please don't forget me

2008-02-03T11:11:00.000+05:30

You know,i've been thinking,all of us have our own different stories of our life, different thoughts, we all respond differently to things,people and songs. Everyone is unique and has a different story of things we've done. Only we and some of our family and friends know about it.
Now, imagine, that everyone forgot everything about you. Your friends,family,everyone you know, doesn't remember you or anything you did. Not even at the back of their heads. Wouldn't you sort of be dead? Because you didn't make a difference in anyones life,didn't leave an imprint that you existed. All you did,your story is lost. There's no evidence you existed.
Or maybe, what if you really died. Everyone you knew,who loved you, with whom you shared your life, died, and noone remembered you anymore. If you made a difference only in a small group of peoples lives. You were forgotten and all the beautiful things you'd seen and experienced and felt were forgotten. Evidence you existed, your clothes, your letters that you wrote, your diary,in which you recorded your thoughts and everything that happened to you, were destroyed. Th things you did,the relationships you created were of no importance,cause everyone important to you was dead. You were lost,your memory lost, no effect made by you remained, no sign that you existed remained, and your memory had faded away, your ideas and dreams disappeared along with you, how'd you feel? I don't know why, i find the whole idea very frightening.

About the blog…. And what not to write in an exam.

2008-01-25T18:13:00.000+05:30

Oh yeah people…about the blog…no, it’s not like I decided to abandon it or anything, but, I didn’t have the time to update it. Ok, maybe I did, but I didn’t have the heart to use my spare time writing a blog than playing games or watching movies.
How selfish of me.
Ah, but this doesn’t mean that you stop visiting my blog. Visit it regularly, and you may occasionally find a new post.
I was busy earlier with my pre-boards, and later, with enjoying the holidays after them, but I’m busier now, now that we’ve got our papers. I don’t suppose anyone need be told how horrible they were and how my parents are after me now to study harder, etc….how….not interesting.
Anyway, as you all know, I have amazing style, creativity, flair, (…blah, blah, blah,…) and imagination. So, I usually try to show my creative aptitude in my language papers. I’ll give you a very recent example:

Q. As a concerned citizen, you welcome the decision of the planning commission for a sharp increase in allocation for education, (…blah, blah, blah…). Write a letter to the editor sharing your views.
Now, we have a nice letter to write on our hands, and I don’t use my creativity? Nah…impossible. Here’s how it went (I’m serious):

156, My House Road
Wherever You Wish, 110099

76 January 2008

The Editor,
The Times Of India,
16, Their Building road
Wherever They Wish, 110099

Sir
Subject: Planning commission’s decision
This letter is regarding your article,” Allocation for education. Teachers rejoice as salaries increase” was excellent.(….blah, blah. Totally serious, to get marks, you kow…)
Yours faithfully,
Crystal Das Khan

Hohoho. Ok, I know it wasn’t funny, but most people don’t have the guts to do that, AND get a “good” in it (yeah!!!).
Well, adding a little humor to the language you know, is ok, but to the language you don’t know?? Don’t try it, kids, its harmful to your health (you see, you write dumb stuff, marks get cut, you get horrible marks, you get upset, parent see marks, parents get high BP, parents go to hospital, you under stress….so, bad for health)
Here’s what happened when I wrote totally idiotic stuff in my French paper:
Q. Write a message to your granma that you can’t come visit her this week-end cause ________ (make a shoddy excuse).
I wrote the whole message beautifully, but in the end I signed off:

Ta grand-fille,
Rakshas

NOT A GOOD IDEA. I didn’t know how to sign off. You can’t write “amicalement” can you? I wrote what I thought was for grand daughter and added a pretty little ah-so-humorous name, Rakshas. Now, I firstly signed off on the right, not left (damn), and grand-fille means nothing (double damn).
Teacher says: IS THIS WHAT YOU’VE LEARNT?
Ooops. I can’t believe she smiled as she gave me the paper.
I would love to go on rambling, but I gotto go study. Nooo….my mom isn’t standing behind me and prodding me in the back to go study. I’m going cause I want to, cause I like it, and I know that studying is better than writing blogs,and cause I love French, and chemistry too…as much I love ….. (whew!!! she’s gone.) HARRY POTTER

Wishes

2008-01-02T15:40:00.000+05:30

Wishes for 2008 (may all this happen!)

1) More nice movies like Taare Zameen Par. The movie was very cute. It makes you laugh, makes you cry, and leaves you feeling good at the end of it. And the songs were too good. 'Meri Ma' makes you cry, and the title track has some very good lyrics. Can't stop humming it.

2) Real news - ok, I know I've written entries already criticizing the stupidness of news channels, but we seriously need some real news. Look at Aaj Tak. It started two almost similar news channels - Dilli Aaj Tak and Tez. Dilli passes its time sending its reporters around Delhi to show where to shop in Delhi (as if we don't know). Now, what is Tez to do? It shows clips of weird things going on around the world (like, off from 'world's most amazing videos'), or clips from reality shows (zoom in to Rakhi Sawant's cleavage, give her publicity, etc). But they crossed the limit recently. I was flipping through channels (I know, ne pas zapper, but still ...) and paused at Tez. There was a guy in their studio who looked like he hadn't bathed for a week, sitting and singing a song I'd never heard in a damn besura voice. I was just wondering what the hell this was about,when he abruptly stopped singing, raised his hand to his nose, and pinched it close. He them took a deep breath through his mouth, relaxed, and then began to open and pinch close his nostrils rapidly as to produce a nosy tune of the song he had been singing. When he stopped, I was choking with laughter, but the reporter calmly smiled and congratulated him on his 'kala'. Sheesh. News channels ke itne bure din aa gaye?

3) Old design - I really want the notebooks with the old designs back. The new ones by Janta Book Depot must be cheaper for the school, I suppose, for they do look like it. I hate the horrible green cover with black flecks. It looks diseased. I want the nice Tushar Publications notebooks back.

4) Ba dies - I'm not a horrible person that I want someone dead, and neither is Ba a vamp that she should die, but it's time she died. 'Kyunki Saas bhi...' has completed around a million episodes and Ba's grand children now have grand children, but that lady is still alive and kicking. I'm sorry Ba, but its time to go.

5) Pakistan ki gatha - I wish Pakistan turns into a nice democracy with true elections sans anymore bloodshed and its people live happily without fear. Mein kitmi mahan hoon. Meri jai ho!
Oh yeah, also, when Pakistan elects its PM, he/she will come to meet me personally cause thanks to my dua, he/she was elected.

6) Ed board - I become the main editor of the Ed Board. Atleast I'll ensure it won't suck as much as this year's did.

7) Whatever -whatever plans I have for this year may actually take place and not remain just plans.

8) Travel - I hope I travel abroad yet again. And due to Pre-Boards, I didn't even get to travel anywhere this winter.

9) Claire - I know this is very mean of me, but I hope a really cute guy comes instead of my host, Claire this year. A nice, sweet, shy and cute guy. Ok, I'll stop dreaming. French and cute and not my hosts boyfriend? Nah. Impossible.

10) Packaging dream - I know this won't happen, but I wish the Lays and other companies would use less plastic in packing their meagre amount of chips. How many times have you just opened a bag of chips and still had to reach really deep inside to get to them? And they're polluting the environment too, those assholes.

11) Etc - I wish for world peace, etc etc

What are your wishes this new year? SMS your wishes to 9877777777. Type 'wishes' your wish and win amazing prizes! (yeah right, you will...)

2007 Ki Jai

2008-01-02T15:28:00.000+05:30

2007 is gone. I'm sad that it has, but you really can't hold on to anything for long, can you? I have to agree that it was an amazing year,and maybe more memorable than the last few.
When the year began, I really was expecting a lot from it. Firstly, because it's the last year with section F and also because I believe 7 is lucky for me. You all must have read in the newspaper how 9 occurred again and again in Benazir's life. It's similar for me. I'll tell you the gatha in another post.

This year was simply amazing. We got Lakshmi ma'am as our class teacher, and though we hated her sometimes, we loved her too, and couldn't deny that she taught us a lot. Then, the French exchange trip was too good. I was a bit baffled at first by the speed with which the people spoke French, but began to enjoy it too. I was lucky to have my host in Cognac (yeah! Cognac!), as I got to see Cognac, as well as Angouleme and Paris. Paris was pretty, but quite small, and the Eiffel tower was huge! There weren't cute guys in France at all, unlike what Meha had predicted (well, except for my host's boyfriend. Damn.). I also discovered (even though I expected it) that the French thought us, like, VERY backward, expected we slept on the floor and gasped in surprise when they found us using the Net or Hotmail. It was also hilarious sometimes, like when Vidisha's host turned out to be lesbian and when Utkarsh showed us the video of the theme park he went to, where the background of a kids' ride had pictures of nude girls. (Read all posts in May)

I sadly had to miss our assembly,which I can guess from descriptions, was horrible. Because -
a) very few were allowed to participate and
b) Sambhav was apparently selecting the songs (sheesh.)
c) etc.

Then, I also loved the time spent at my grandma's place with my cousins in the summer holidays, though it was a bit cramped in the 4-bedroom house. Everyone in the immediate family was staying there and it was one of the most wonderful times I spent with my family. Everyone was so caring and loving. Out of the 9 cousins, I'm the middle one, 4 older, 4 younger. It made me feel good inside to see how everyone cared about me. I wasn't left out of anything. I went with the adults to the hospital, I played with the little kids, I went shopping with the older kids, but, it would have been nice if we all hadn't met because my aunt was sick. We all used to laugh and smile around her, make plans how we'd go for a whole family trip to Shimla or some place, when she got well. She didn't. God bless her soul. (Read post She)

I had to work hard to catch up with work after the holidays and man, was it tough!
Since then, till now, I've been discovering work I haven't done and was supposed to do in the holidays.

My aunt died soon after the assessments, and my reaction to the news wasn't unlike the one I had on hearing that Benazir had died. I went "Huh? What? Are you serious?" It's a pity she left with dreams in her eyes of getting well, going for family trips and of one day showing me her home in Lucknow. I haven't been there yet. I don't think I want to go.

Then, I fell in love again. No, not that way... I fell in love with life. I don't know why I felt so happy and thankful for everything. This happened exactly after the half-yearly's. There was Saturday after the last test and Id on sunday. I spent the next few days visiting places around Delhi where I hadn't been before, and suddenly felt very thankful for being here, where I am. I realized that life couldn't get better than this. Well, it would be good enough if people stopped wanting more. That time, there was nothing I wanted and felt happy just looking around at the things I have. I kept smiling without a reason, being nice to the worst of people and was sooo happy for around one month till when it began to wear off a bit. I mean, seriously, we're so lucky! I go to Asia's best school, am born in the world's most culturally diverse country and live in the capital! Delhi is amazing, extravagant, diverse and I'm some of the lucky ones who live in Delhi, but not on the road. I was thankful to my great-great grandfathers for not going to Pakistan and to my parents for coming to Delhi. I have a father who is ready to blow a couple of lakhs so I can see the world. My mom is so lenient with me, (unlike other Muslim mothers who want their kids in burqas) and allows me to wear anything except the sleazy dresses. I have a loving brother, who only recently turned into a preacher, (after going to college). I don't know about you, but I love my country of a million different views, of billions of ideas, of thousands of languages, of a crore examples of hope and faith, of the everyday exercise of democracy and freedom, of people with the strength to stand up for their rights, of the many accommodated cultures, and I'm proud of my country who is willing to change without losing its roots from the past. Here is a country willing to keep you no matter which religion or caste you belong to. I've never not been accepted or made fun of because I'm a Muslim in a country where majority of people are Hindus. This general acceptance isn't found in all countries. And I really love my life because of all that.

Thanks a lot 2007, thanks a lot.
And oh yeah, Adi is still an ass. Time won't change my view about him.

Bullets, Bullying And Bullshit

2007-12-28T22:26:00.000+05:30

I don't think there's anyone who hasn't heard about the "crazy kid" who shot a guy dead in school. If you haven't, firstly, you're a big geek, and secondly, here's what happened -

All these people studied in Euro International School. Abhishek, the guy who died, was a big bully who often bullied the guy owning the gun, Akash and his friend, Vilas. Abhishek had bullied them for 3 months till getting shot. On December 10, the two, Akash and Abhishek fought again, and then, Akash decided to fix him. He got the gun to school and hid it in the restroom, challenged the guy during Break, got the gun and shot him. Akash and his pal fired 5 shots between them. They both were 14.
OK, That's Very Freaky. I was 14 until 3 weeks ago and really can't imagine myself being so irritated by anyone as to shoot him(or her). I mean, what the hell? The school didn't notice the bullying, the parents didn't notice anything wrong (which I find strange), and they actually kept a fully loaded gun on their TV trolley! What the hell?
I really can't believe that Akash had been bullied for 3 months to such an extent and his behaviour did not change. Everyone gets bullied, verbally, or physically. The poor guy being pushed to such an extent is weird.

Well, ok, even I didn't know how to handle being "bullied" until last year, when I got some sense. Whenever someone said something mean to me, I got very angry and started hitting, or cried. Both the reactions are very dumb, I know, but I felt bad about even the tiniest of jokes and took everything to the heart, something that no one should ever do. Now, if anyone cracks a joke on me, I laugh along and take it easy, but if it gets too vulgar or abusing, I ignore the person for days on or stare at him as if he's shit, if it can be handled that way.

I searched, and came up with this list of cases of weird violence in schools -

# In West Bengal, a teen stabbed a girl for refusing to marry him.

# I don't get what this means,but I'm quoting it for the benefit of those who do - "... then, there's the case of a Mumbai schoolboy who strangled himself in an apparent asphyxiation fix gone sour." Well, I know what asphyxiation is, but I don't get the line.

# A guy killed his classmate 2 years ago and has recently got a life sentence. (No more information was provided)

# Quoting - "a student of a prominent south Delhi school (who was being constantly bullied) hurled a stone at his tormentor, injuring him seriously." No, I understood what this means well and guessed that they were referring to our dear school. I couldn't remember such an incident, but then vaguely recalled what I'd heard from a senior. This took place after school during some band competition. The guy apparently threw a brick at another fellow, and thanks to this incident, our schools band, which was last, wasn't allowed to perform its last 2 songs. I heard about the incident only cause it stopped our band from playing and winning, and that's what everyone had been actually been worried about. This happened sometime this year only.

# Everyone must have heard about the weirdo who jumped off the A block, cause he was challenged to, and broke a bone or two. (Wah! Poetry without even trying! Wah!). Thankfully, even though we were in the block right opposite (C), i didn't see the guy cause we'd gone for a picnic. The guy had apparently twisted his leg in a weird manner. Ewwww!!!!!
The funny thing is, the bullies, who try to act really coo and behave like bonds, are supposed to do so cause they're insecure. I find that weird, because they seem/ show themselves to be so popular, powerful and great. Also, if you want to know, the Faridabad Juvenile Home,which houses k(ids)riminals, has 55 kids! Ooh, krime is on the high.

Fish Water Of Queen Is

2007-12-19T10:58:00.000+05:30

People really teach their kids a lot of shit. I mean, seriously.

Take as an example, the nursery rhyme that all of us learnt at one time or another - " machhli jal ki rani hai" (fish water of queen is- translating seedhe). This poem is full of falsities and dumbness that we shouldn't at all teach, not even to innocent kids, for that matter. I seriously disagree with each and every line. Here is the reason -

Machhli jal ki rani hai (fish water of queen is) - how can fish be the queen or king for that matter of water/water bodies? Almost all water bodies are owned by the government and those not belonging to any country, the oceanic resources beyond 200 km of exclusive economic zone do not belong to anyone. I also do not know of any monarchy by fish.
Jeevan uska pani hai (life its water is) - hey, we should be promoting democracy. Each and every fish should have a right to decide what its life should be about.
Haath lagao to dar jaegi (hand putting so frightened becoming) - you know, some pet fish like dolphins, etc do like to be touched and petted. This line is not at all applicable to them,and thus is false. It is also not applicable to sharks and other fish,who,far from being frightened,want to rip your arm off.
Bahar nikalo to mar jaegi (out taking so dead becoming) - since the time period is not given, I do not agree with the statement. Also,flying fish fly out of the water regularly and don't just drop dead when they do.

By the way, no arguments allowed.

Baap Re! Pre-boards aa rahe hain!

2007-12-15T20:34:00.000+05:30

20 signs that show that the pre-boards are coming-
1) Nerds start taking leaves.
2) The number of people present are less than half the class's strength.
3) You see people studying during free-periods.
4) Everyone starts worrying the teacher about finishing the syllabus.
5) Everyone has a look in their eye like a sheep has before a butcher.
6) 'Kitna syllabus ho gaya', becomes a FAQ.
7) When refering to the pre-boards,the tense changes from future to immediate future.
8) Syllabuses seem so long,they could fill a telephone directory.
9) Heartless teachers take your P.E./ library/ free periods.
10) You start researching about the current bribe rates.
11) Your parents glare at you whenever you leave your study-table.
12) Your parents suddenly agree that taking off is better than going to school.
13) Every senior becomes a wise-guy imparting knowledge on facing the pre-boards.
14) The pre pre-board horror stories become strangely frightening.
15) Whenever you tell some one you're in tenth they give you the pitiful look that is usually reserved for beggars.
16) 'Just hanging around' becomes one of the most rare things to do.
17) You suddenly envy your juniors.
18) You see a beggar with a placard saying 'the world is going to end soon', and you agree.
19) Completing the syllabus becomes an act as amazing and impossible as living after jumping from a 100 story.
20) You wonder about how pointless school is and why you shouldn't just be an illiterate cabbage farmer in UP - And then you actually find the answer in your eco text-book.

Saat disambar-mera jamndin

2007-12-08T17:22:00.000+05:30

The day started with me accidentally squirting my eye with perfume like an idiot and howling in pain. But it wasn't so bad. I didn't spend as much money as i expected as payal (whose birthday is one day after mine,on 8th dec) and i clubbed treats. I paid for the food and she paid for the drinks. Everyone got more than usual and we paid less than usual. And suprisingly,more people,even from other sections remembered my birthday. Not that i mind. The people in my bus sang the birthday song rather drunkedly both times,when going to school and when coming home. On the way back it hurt more as someone remembered about birthdaybumps. Everyone slapped of a dozen times more than sixteen while counting to sixteen. Though noone knew the point of it or how the bumpy tradition of kicking/punching/bumping/slapping started, everyone agreed it was fun.
So much for treating them.

2007-12-02T15:22:00.000+05:30

i hate dripping taps. Presently, the flush tank above the toilet is dripping away. It started dripping in fat drops last night, by itself. Since the plumber couldn't come at nine in the night, and we were afraid the dripping would empty out the water tank, my mom tried to do something about it. Now, its water is falling in sheets! The eat slumber came (why are they fat?), stared and stared, and said some new parts had to be bought and left to buy them. The tank is still dripping away. And the worst part is, i hate the sound of dripping water. Its very irritating.
another thing i hate is the sound of people chewing. That loud, chewy noise is terrible. I've threatened many a times to leave the room/put the phone down he the person doesn't stop chewing loudly or eating. Call it dictatorship or anything, but its terribly irritating.

I'm Too Good.

2007-11-30T20:07:00.000+05:30

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
*Does a little jig*
I won! I won! I won the poetry writing competiton! I came second. I'd have posted the poem but I actually threw the rough sheet in the dustbin after the competition cause I thought it was horrible and that I wouldn't win, so what's the point.
But I did!
Hahahaha.
Sam had gone for the Geography quiz the same day, but they came last. And I, on the other hand, won. Hahahaha.
I'm tooooooo good. I'll put the poem up when I get it back. I've asked my English teacher for it.

P.S. It was on-the-spot. I'm too good. :)

Unfair, unfair

2007-11-30T20:06:00.000+05:30

'Lutyens' Delhi', the term, is used indiscriminately to include the work of all other amazing architects who worked to build Delhi. Only 4 bungalows were build originally by him in the security zone of the President's estate. Robert Tussel built CP, Teen Murti House, the airport in Safdarjung and over 4000 houses, but he's the one forgotten. Funny, eh?
Lutyens actually loathed Indians. He apparently disliked all things Indian. He called Indians niggers and said that they were dark and ill-smelling and that their food was very strange and frightening.
Why then, did this asshole live down in history and have his name attached to a part of Delhi, which mostly others built? Tell me if you know.
I found this out while researching for my history project. So it DID teach me something. Pity that after all the hard work we do, the teacher barely glances at it. Unfair, n'est-ce pas?

Gory Story(/ies)

2007-11-30T20:03:00.000+05:30

Gory stories are on an all time high thanks to SOMEONE.
Ever since Someone tried to cut her wrist, everyone has been going around telling stories of blood, gore and love. And those stories aren't very nice cause they're about some people I know and some people from school. It's not nice knowing that they're true.
I myself saw this really horrible thing. There is a guy from the EOK sections in my sculpture class. He's one of those bigda hua kids who never attend classes/pass by the look of it. I don't know his section or name and had never even noticed him, but that day I did. He was fiddling around with the pottery wheel and had his sleeves pulled up so that they didn't get dirty.
That's when I noticed a roundish scab on his lower arm. It was around a centimetre in diameter.
Then I saw more.
Like, literally dozens.
Some were just un-healed sound pale marks, some were proper black-ish scabs. They were present all the way upto where his cuffs were. I wonder if there were more under the shirt.
It was freaky, very freaky. At first, I thought it might be an illness, but I had this gut feeling that it wasn't. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

Kunal went upto the guy and asked, "Kya hua?" I pretended to look away. The guy replied, "Cigarette se kiya."
Eeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!
I felt like puking, so I walked away. Later Heena came and asked if I had seen the guy. She told me what he said after that. He said that "Woh nashe mein tha" when he did it. He used the burning cigarettes to do that.
Eww. Eww. Eww.
Nashe mein? I don't want to know how or why.
And then, Jonaki ma'am told me how another guy, Paras had cut himself with a blade. Ew.
Then Jangu knew about this guy who cut a girl's name into his arm. Like, for real. Too filmy, I thought, to be true. But ma'am supported him and said that it was true.
And then, there's our very own Someone, now officially MWW, or the Mad Wicked Woman. She cuts away for the fun of it (apparently).
Talk about stupidity.

Weird, With a Capital W

2007-11-28T16:32:00.000+05:30

Very weird things are happening. I mean, VERY weird things, more weird than the normal weird.
Here's a list-

1) The Earthquake.
I mean, can't it have struck at a better time? I was sleeping so soundly, kya yaar ... It was freaky, we went downstairs from our third floor house. I mean, I was standing BAREFOOT on the road, cause we went down in a hurry. Then I went up to get my slippers and we went for a walk around Munirka. We met a guy taking his dog for a walk (at 4:50!), he said that the dog had woken up a while before the quake and started to bark. The poor dog was still freaked out. A lot of people were on the street. Then we went home and I listened to music until it was time to go to school.

2) The Cooker.
I don't know how, I don't know why, a cooker in our house just fell off the gas. Like, just tilted off. It had been on a low flame for ten minutes or so, when it fell onto the marble floor with a thud. No one was in the kitchen. I have no idea how it happened. I'm just happy it didn't burst on falling.

3) My friend has gone craaaaaazy.
My friend is (apparently) trying to suicide. For some reason. Some hell of a reason it must be.

4) Strange people.
I don't know why a lot of people are getting intimidated by me. They just come up to me and take panga. Here are 3 incidents from today only-

A) A guy just goes up to his friend, points in the direction of Sam and mine, and says some thing to him. He clearly points at me, stares, and keeps on talking. I walk up to him.
Me - What? Are you doing some research or something?
He mumbles something to his friend, who is pointedly looking away.
Me - Didn't your mom teach you it's rude to point at people?
He - What rude? Kya rude? Kahan ka rude? Ye kya rude-rude kar rahi hai?
He looks hopefully at his friend, expecting him to laugh at what he said. Friend pointedly looks away.
Me - You know, tumhari besti ho rahi hai.
I walk away. Loser. Later, he comes up to me, points in my face and goes "Haha", rude". Sam and I lol into his face.
Big time loser.

B) we were standing outside on the stairs leading to the AVH, when a group of guys (who I'd never seen in my life) standing on the skywalk in front of CB yell to me - "Blue Coat!"
I know it was me, cause there was no other blue coat in that area, Sam was missing and there were a lot of green coats around me. They went again, "blue coat! Kitna padte ho!" Then they started yelling "Blue Coat! Blue Coat! Blue Coat! Blue Coat!" in a chorus as if they were cheering. Suddenly a teacher appeared behind them and they shut up.

C) I'd gone to the blossoms seminar room for the poetry competition, but there was no one around except for a couple of sixthies. I don't say anything to them when they just start off. To me, that is.
Kid 1 - Oi!
Kid 2 - Hamare pas permission hai.
Kid 3 - Head mistress ko complain karegi? Ja kar. (???!!!)
Kid 4 - Han han, kar ke dikha.
Kid 2 - Yeh to pagal hai.
They all were saying something as I scanned the room. When I stopped looking and heard exactly what they were saying, I was irritated. How the hell can these sixthies talk to me like this? I leaned forward and slapped the nearest kid neatly on the head. The rest of them shut up by themselves.

5) One of my dreams came true. I had once dreamed of this circular corridor type place with vendors selling pots and things. I seriously saw the same thing in the trade fair, in the UP pavilion! I'm serious!
Well, life is weird.

Dost Dost Na Raha, Mutilated Ho Gaya

2007-11-28T16:27:00.000+05:30

Hey, have you ever had a friend who you never thought was freaky, start chopping her hand off?
I do!
Guess ...
All of you know déjà, I know, so I don't have to give her name.
I actually find the whole matter hilarious. I would have been worried too if I was an idiot and I didn't know her well. I trust her enough to know she won't kill herself.
Ok, you think I'm crazy cause I think like this, hein na?
Why do I find it hilarious? Simply because of the way people react to the incident. Even when they really aren't worried they rush up her, make the "haww" face and ask as an obligation what is wrong. As if she'll tell. And that too, to the uncaring people.
Hahahahaha!!!
Then, they begin suggesting strange reasons for her doing it. Here's a list:

1) depression due to Boards/pre-Boards etc. etc.
2) parents scolding her. (OMG, what a reason to die. Come on guys, it's their job and we all not know it. It's not enough to depress her into dying!)
3) ______ not e-mailing her.
4) Anuj/Aditya/AC/DC/some unknown guy leaving her.
5) want of attention
6) lack of a love life

So, what do YOU think the reason is? Take your pick people, the winner will get a blue, sequinned, knee-length skirt!(même for guys).
It was nice irritating her. When people came and asked what was up, I just hinted at some un-probable reason and sat back and laughed my heart out as they irritated her and she desperately tried to convince them that that was not the case.
Hmmm....
I like being mean.

Photos

2007-11-25T16:09:00.000+05:30

Some pics by me

Irritayting- all thanks to Rakhi (Sawant)

2007-11-25T14:56:00.000+05:30

Declarartion: Adi is obsessed with me.
Ignore the long list of comments by him. I know its difficult to do that since you have to scroll all the way down, but still.
He apparently did that because I called Anuj "rakhi part 2". I meant Rakhi Sawant, but Adi, wanting to assosciate anything I say with himself, thinks I was referring to his mom.(oohhhhhhhhhh.....)

Going by the Law

2007-11-19T19:49:00.000+05:30

Okay, here's a list of weird laws which I got from a site. I think a lot of them are made up, but it's nice to think that people can be so idiotic and to disprove that "There's A Reason For Everything" theory. Here it goes (the law is in caps and the one in small letters are my comments) -

Thailand
IT'S ILLEGAL TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE IF YOU'RE NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR. Wonder who checks that...
YOU MUST WEAR A SHIRT WHILE DRIVING A CAR. Why? Because it might distract girls in the other car and cause an accident?

Switzerland
CLOTHES MAY NOT BE HUNG UP TO DRY ON SUNDAY. Because the sight of your undies up on a line may just destroy someone's holiday ...
IT'S ILLEGAL TO FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER 10 p.m. They're planning to suffocate people.
A MAN MAY NOT RELIEVE HIMSELF STANDING UP AFTER 10 pm. Too distracting, eh?

Italy
A MAN MAY BE ARRESTED FOR WEARING A SKIRT. Wonder what the Scots have to say about that ...

United Kingdom
NO COWS MAY BE DRIVEN DOWN THE ROADWAY BETWEEN 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. UNLESS THERE IS PRIOR APPROVAL BY THE POLICE COMMISSIONER. Awww... My cow likes to take long walks in the morning!!
SINCE 1313, IT'S ILLEGAL FOR MPs TO DON ARMOR IN PARLIAMENT. Hey, it's a battlefield out there!
ANY BOY BELOW THE AGE OF 10 MAY NOT SEE A NAKED MANNEQUIN. "Ma'am, your boy's a criminal. You probably cannot imagine what a heinous thing he did today."
A BED MAY NOT BE HUNG OUT A WINDOW. Hey ... that's where everyone normally sleeps!

Alabama
IT'S ILLEGAL TO WEAR A FAKE MOUSTACHE TO CHURCH. Why? Kyuuuun??

Florida
A MAN CAN NOT COMMIT "UNNATURAL ACTS" WITH ANOTHER MAN. Hmmm ... I wonder what they mean ...
IF AN ELEPHANT IS LEFT TIED TO A PARKING METER, THE PARKING HAS TO BE PAID JUST LIKE FOR A VEHICLE. Damn, and I thought getting an elephant would help reduce travel costs. It's even eco-friendly.
IT'S ILLEGAL TO SING IN PUBLIC WHILE HAVING A SWIMSUIT ON. It's a deadly combo. Makes women more enticing and increases the chances of their being raped, don't you know?
MEN MAY NOT BE SEEN IN PUBLIC IN ANY SORT OF STRAP-LESS GOWN. Wonder how they can wear one?

Ohio
MORE THAN 5 WOMEN CAN NOT LIVE TOGETHER IN A HOUSE. Maybe 4 is better than 5...
YOU CAN NOT ARREST ANY ONE ON A SUNDAY OR THE FOURTH OF JULY. How dare you interrupt the hard earned free day of the cold blooded murderer?

California
ANIMALS ARE BANNED FROM MATING WITHIN 1500 ft OF A SCHOOL, A TAVERN OR A PLACE OF WORSHIP. Can you explain that to the animal, please?
NO VEHICLE WITHOUT A DRIVER MAY EXCEED THE SPEED OF 60 m/hr. Okay, if you say so.

Texas
IT'S ILLEGAL TO SELL ONE'S EYE. Awww... But that's how I earn my daily bread!!

New York
CITIZENS CAN NOT GREET EACH OTHER BY "PUTTING ONE'S THUMB TO THE NOSE AND WIGGLING THE FINGERS". My child hood friend will kill me if I don't greet her like that anymore, and just because it's against the law. Sheesh!!
*shake head*

Lovely TV

2007-11-12T20:00:00.000+05:30

Since yesterday, I have declared my TV as the most irritating one on earth. It lacks tata sky (Isko laga dala to life jhingalala) or a set top box, thanks to my parents who think since 10th is a board class, i need to study hard and that TV will distract me. I turned on the TV yesterday, with my mind made up to bear it for atleast an hour and found nothing to watch except sodden channels like DD national, zoom (isko dekho), a couple of music channels, news channels of all sorts and the south indian channels in languages i don't understand. I tried to entertain myself by watching TV-5 for a while but too much french gets to my head, so i changed the channel even though i was watching a cartoon, Papyrus. Lok sabha was no better, political talk does not entertain me at all. In desperation i flipped channels, hoping to find something watchable, even though our french book advises us not to (Ne pas Zapper). The music channels were airing skimpily clad girls who were updating you with the filmy news, how shahid and kareena broke up, etc. etc. DD channel was showing a black and white movie, and F-tv was not to my choice, so i tried to find some news on the pakistan issue, but unfortunately, all the news channels were showing the shittiest news ever known. The breaking news was that shahrukh came to Nach Baliye, some channels were comparing Saawariya and OSO and others were occupied with selling sauna belts, and showing sweaty stomachs along side. I tried watching the interview of some (apparent) celebrity, but they kept taking "short" breaks. Since i had nothing else to watch, i kept watching the ads, and surprisingly,were more entertaining than anything i had encountered on TV for a while. My personal favourites are the humorous ads, like the happy dent white ads involving the guy with sucky english and the cows and the people with such shiny teeth that they give off light like a bulb. I like the bingo chips ads, chloro mint ads and the one ad about the stupid boss called Hari sadu. Its nice to see how even small things like ads are getting creative and catchy. They know what people want to see, and will bear watching. Known celebrities just saying the name of your brand is out. A tang of good humour and a catchy tag line is enough to ensure people will watch it once and remember. Except sometimes, these people get too...Umm... Bold. I remember, on the way to school, the bus stopped on a red light, and suddenly all the kiddos in front got excited and started peeking out. I wondered what is up, and looked out myself. What i saw was a large hoarding of a woman in a bra, endorsing , you guessed it,...bras. Below, was written:
"size does matter".

Updates

2007-11-10T20:07:00.000+05:30

Here's an update on "wassup" nowadays...
1) I just might be going for GYLC (YEAH!!!... Sorry for the caps)
2) I went to help out in the maths crusade, 2nd day. It wasn't much of a crusade, and was actually a bit boring. But i liked my job of sitting on the stage and ringing the bell to signal that time's up for the presentation. People who had been speaking with confidence jump at its sound and stammer. I like being mean.
3) i added "the black magician" to my list of best books. Its Amazing!! The first two books of the trilogy are ok, but the third is Awesome!
I love it. I love it. I love it.
4) Went for the suckiest play i've ever seen- sadak ke us paar. Its Pathetic. I warn all to stay away.
5) Saawariya and OSO were released and critics declared the latter better (as i had predicted). The news channels are going bonkers over them, and have declared that OSO won, as if they were participating in a boxing match.
6) I added anuj to my list of "weirdest people of all times". Anuj, don't take it personally, and don't mind... Adi, Rakhi Sawant and Karan Johar are there too.
7) discovered Mohit has super-human strength (so to say) and a pea-sized brain, when he threw a chair across the class.
8) The school finally asked us to wear the winter uniform, just before a couple of thin sixthies would have passed out because of cold in their shorts and supplied us with entertainment. (tch tch *shake head*)
9) I've finally understood that the school eats up our holidays for the fun of it and not because some anti-kids organisation pays them to do so.
10) Discovered that ties look better open and draped across the shoulders like a scarf or knotted like a scare than the normal, un-creative way.
11) Realised people think you crazy, and even as a kalank on society he you decide not to burst crackers this diwali.
12) Pakistan is in big, big trouble, and you're a buffoon if you don't know why.

Oh yeah, by the way,
Heppi Diwali!!!!!!!

Clearing

2007-11-04T16:19:00.000+05:30

Firstly, if anyone was wondering, the sign-in thing was put on the blog for a short period of time because of adi. Well, by not me actually, but by sam, who wanted to take adi's challenge (see: the list of comments on the post, "perception changes everything").I frankly don't care about adi a lot to try to stop him. If i wanted, i could have deleted all his comments, but i didn't. Wondering what the point is? I just wanted ppl to know that its sam who bothered so much about adi, not me. I don't give a damn about him. Everyone, get that into your head.

Spirit Of Cricket, huh?

2007-10-29T13:42:00.000+05:30

For Indians, cricket is a passion.Its strange that people get so carried away by just a game, in which they might not even be playing,that they begin to do weird things. Things which they might not even mean. The past few matches against Australia have been an example of this. The racial taunting of Andrew symonds has left me quite disappointed. People were actually been photographed making monkey-like gestures,they abused him and made animal noises.
What is this? Is this the India that preaches secularism? Why are these people so set on destroying the spirit of game?
The game is seen as a symbol of tolerance, team spirit and diversity.
I mean,Symonds (fantastic player) was booed at when he went to receive the Man Of The Series award. The poor guy didn't even come to the media conference later. I'm happily surprised at how he handled himself. Any other person would have been quite furious and have done some thing to get back. These people were all adults, yet they could not behave sensibly.They were guests in our country, and how amazingly we treated them...(wow. ME, 15-year-old ME, preaching).
The racial aspect of this taunting was being denied earlier by the Indian authorities. But in the last match, they could not ignore it. Thankfully, they evicted some of the trouble makers. Indians have anyway never been known as polite, and now, this is further demolishing India's image internationally. What is symonds fault? That he plays well? Or that the Indian team can't beat them? That he's better than some of our players?
Apparently, some Aussi youths are planning to get back at the Indians (read: the Indian team) in the same way when they come to tour Australia. I don't think they'd succeed as the Australians don't hesitate to enforce their laws unlike the Indians who prefer to turn the blind eye until forced to do something.
I actually won't mind a lot he they do that. Some of the players themselves behave quite childishly. Take Sreesanth for eg. He taunts, screams and makes some rather unappealing gestures while in the field. He's aggressive and stupid. When asked (after the 20-20 world cup was over) about how being aggressive had become his identity and if he'd continue yelling his guts out (this is not in direct speech) I was irritated by is reply. He said that there was more good coming out of it than bad (don't ask me how) and that he'd continue doing it. He didn't regret being fined. He said that the loss was only of money and that the gain was more (of what?).
What the hell, man... Its just a game...

Perception changes everything

2007-10-06T19:36:00.000+05:30

Perception: 1 a:result of perceiving: observation b:a mental image: concept 2:a capacity for comprehension
(courtesy webster)
Perception is a very amazing thing. Its basically how you see things. Everyone sees the same thing but their mind perceives it differently. I dont only mean the glass-half-full-half-empty thing, it also plays an important part in more complex things. You must have noticed it yourself, how people can see one piece of art as different things etc. etc.
Perception is damn important in things like classification of things (no,this is NOT chem). For eg, my french paper had an article that talked about how scientists are not counting pluto as a planet anymore. This got of thinking, who said what a planet should be like? We didn't get stones from god with rules for calling something a planet, did we? Its all how we think a planet should be, how we observed all the planets an supposed all of them should be.
In the same way, scientists suppose that a planet should be like earth to have life. Thats what they perceive after seeing earth, their only example. But, i dont agree. Maybe there are other conditions for life to exist. Maybe organisms on other planets live on a different gas, have different type of sense organs and can live only in high temperatures.
Ok. I am getting carried away.
But perception does change everything, even personalities. Inferiority complex is when a person perceives himself inferior, thinks lowly of himself (a person can have one even he doesn't know/accept it). Some people think of themselves as being fat, no matter what you say(yes, sam, refering to you). The psychological ink-blot test is based on perception and reveals a lot about how a person thinks.

Its basically about how the same thing looks different to different people. Not how our eyes view it, but how our mind does. This is all shaped by how we are brought up, how we are made to think and what things influence us. Like, a person brought up in a conservative family will be all giggly when talking about sex as compared to a person who is used to talking about it freely.
Its also depends on how receptive we are, how open we are to new things. The more we see, the more ideas we have, the more angles we can see something from. But, it doesn't help he you look at something with a fixed mindset.
All this is what I think and That's perception for you.

Amazing consequences of being sick before french exam

2007-10-04T12:11:00.000+05:30

Wow. I've got a cold. Cool, huh? And that also just before the french exam, which i anyway dont study for, and now i've got a fair reason to snore than to study. The worst part is, its not like in english, that i dont study, but still end up getting in 80's. I study for french to get 70!
I dont know why i took french, maybe i had lost my mind. You get nice marks in hindi easily, but it isnt about marks always, is it? I never was good in french. Actually, i never tried to be. I still have a vague memory of how in 5th, we were to write about our family. Not being too fond of my brother then, i wanted to write some thing like,"he's dumb". Not being good at using the dictionary, i actually wrote, "Il est une âne". The french teacher had her own little laugh at this,me calling my brother a female donkey.
I also remember a french test in fifth. There was a question in which the only word i recognised was "nurse". I started to write a dialogue from me to the nurse telling her that i was going to the hospital and asking if she would like to come with me (god knows why and how i was writing that. I couldnt even conjugate etre properly). Later, when revising, i squinted at the question and it slowly began to make sense. It was actually asking what a nurse does or some thing like that. So you get the idea how brain-less i can be in terms of français. I actually bothered to learn the conjugation of etre in 7th!
I think i should go sleep.... Fever and all, you know....Sure, I'll study french. Maybe...
Oh yeah, and the stupid doctor thinks i look anemic!! Well, more of a reason to sleep....

Ramzan

2007-09-24T14:19:00.000+05:30

All those with even a little brains will know that ramzan is the month when all good muslims fast from before sunrise to sunset. You cant eat or drink anything, inspite of that, i love the month. It has nostalgia attached to it the same way id or diwali does. The same conditions and seeing the same things bring memories back.
I love iftar time, when you break the fast. All sorts of delicacies are prepared, a new one each day. Being the youngest one in the family, there were a few years when everyone in the house except me was fasting. Then, i used to taste all of them, checking the salt and sugar. I also used to be pathetically mean, sitting and eating in front of others jaan bujh ke.
You feel the same feelings day by day, year by year as you sit at the table with your family. Slightly warm because of the dupatta wrapped around you. Feet, hands and face still moist after the wazu. The smell of chaat, pakodas and jalebis. The chilly wind outside.
I have encountered ramzan only in winters. It must be bad in summers, parched throats and all(no water). Ramzan is slowly shifting towards summer. *sob* Well, its a time i love a lot because of the family thing and its the one of the times in a year when i pray atleast once everyday.
I know, un-religious me.
I dont even fast everyday. Fasting is weird. When i fasted for the first time, i expected to feel very hungry. Actually, i didnt feel hungry at all. I did feel thirsty, but not hungry. Sometimes, i looked at the time and thought, lets in eat, and then remembered hybr fasting. I realised that most of the time, i ate not because i was hungry, but just out of habit. I actually find all this useful for the soul, you know....

Perverts

2007-09-12T21:08:00.000+05:30

Some day, we were going through the teachers table and discovered a lot of junk in there. It mainly comprised of story books and comics for kids. We were going through some of the books, when the Pervert, i wont say who, started pointing it the pictures in the kids story books and declaring in a horrified way, "Porn!!!". Of course, it wasnt porn. He was pointing at pics of dalmations and saying they were indecent as they weren't wearing clothes. Aaargghhh!! Pervert!!! Here are the 'porn' pics....

Monkeying around

2007-09-12T20:43:00.000+05:30

Anyone can enter our school, and no one cares. This monday, a monkey paid a visit to our honorable school. Though i came to know about it during the stay back, it had apparently been around since the 2nd last period. No one drove it away!!
During the stay back, it entered the other 10th ka NTSE class. Everyone came out and locked it in. It escaped to the corridor through the partially open window attached to it. It them escaped to the floor above. It came down the stairs an kids soon crowded around, going ."monkey, monkey". The monkey felt threatened, bared his teeth and attacked. Everyone fled. He slipped away. THAT was freaky. Never been attacked by a monkey before.

My phone

2007-09-12T18:58:00.000+05:30

I got a new phone!!! Yaeee!!! Its a N 72. I love it. Its more than i expected. Its got mp 3, camera, net, bluetooth, movie maker,word, excel, e mail, messenger etc. Best of all, it has net! I'm writing this post ou the bell. It may be out dated, but its good enough for me. :-)

Ratatouille

2007-08-28T15:25:00.000+05:30

Ratatouille is an awesome movie, I must admit. The idea is new, and Remy is very cute. The basic story is that Remy can smell the ingredients out of food and wants to cook, inspired by Gustaeau a fat and very famous cook, who has a five starred restaurant. He can even smell poison in food, so, his father (the leader of the rat pack) gives him the job of smelling poison in food (what did you expect?). Remy is very pissed with life, but everyone is forbidden from entering the kitchen. One day, Remy goes into the kitchen and is seen by the old lady in whose house the rats live. The lady shooting like crazy around the house, the roof falls in, and all the rats are discovered .They escape into a sewer using small boats. Remy gets late as he tries to drag along Gustaeu’s cooking book and gets lost in the sewer. He comes up to the ground to see that he’s in Paris and in Gusteau’s restaurant.

Only a few days earlier, a food critic, something Ego(forgot the name) had given a bad review for Gusteau’s restaurant, making it losing a star. Gusteau dies of shock, causing the restaurant to lose another star, making it only 3 starred now. Since he was in the sewer, Remy starts seeing Gusteau’s ghost. The ghost tells him to go into the restaurant. Here, Remy sees a boy, Linguini, whose mother had died being given a job as a garbage boy. Linguini accidently messes up the soup. Remy can’t bear to see it and fixes the soup. The Chef had seen Linguini fiddling with the soup and thinks he made it. Linguini gets a job as a cook, though he can’t cook. He had seen Remy fixing the soup and they decide to work together, as Remy wants to cook and Linguini wants a job. Somehow, Remy can operate Linguini like robot just by pulling his hair. So, Linguini keeps Remy hidden under his hat.

A letter from Linguini’s mother shows that Linguini is actually Gusteau’s son and he inherits the restaurant. Ego declares he will come to see how Linguini cooks and the whole restaurant is worried. Just a few days before, Remy has a fight with Linguini as he doesn’t get any credit. Later, they both realize they need each other and Remy comes back. On the evening when Ego comes, Linguini tells the whole staff about how Remy is the real cook and everyone leaves (don’t ask why). Linguini goes into his office, sad. Remy calls upon his whole rat family (hundreds) who help him cook. Linguini gets out his rollerblades and serves the food. Remy serves Ego, Ratatouille, a dish which seriously is NOT made of rats. I had become afraid that maybe Remy would sacrifice himself to serve Ego Ratatouille. Ego melts on eating the dish and gives a good review, even after being told who actually cooks the dish and how. A health inspector had also popped up in the restaurant kitchen just when it was swarming with rats. The rats kept him tied up till Ego left. As they had to let him go later, the restaurant was shut down because it was declared infested with rats.

In the end, Linguini opens his own restaurant, where Remy cooks with the help of his rat family and the restaurant is named, “Ratatouille”.

LE FIN

M(M)y Impact

2007-08-28T15:19:00.000+05:30

Well, I meant to put it like the HT ppl do, with the title, “HT impact” and how their articles and news has changed situations:

I am proud to announce that my article Madame Misery(MM), which was recently published in the annual Dips Diary, has caused the school to look into the problems faced by children because of Man At Door. It was decided that Man At Door is more a nuisance to both students and teachers than a help, so Man At Door has been officially removed from the Door of the staff room.

Isn’t that great?? Now we can actually follow teachers to their desks, begging for ½ a mark more. Earlier, they could escape into the safety of the staff room. Now, the teacher’s pets can carry those high piles of copies for the teachers to the staff room again. Now, we can enter the staffroom without being labeled as criminals and without the need of bribing the Man At Door.

All thanks to M(M)e!!!!!

The Mountain Cleaver

2007-08-28T15:16:00.000+05:30

He belonged to the musahar caste, who have a weird occupation of digging through rat holes after harvest and foraging grains stored by bandicoots. His name was Dasrath Manjhi and he spent his life cutting through a mountain. It was sort of in memory of his wife who died on the way on the hospital. They would have made it in time if the hill hadn’t been blocking the way. For 22 years, he cut through the hill, chip by chip. Now, there lies a path which has shortened the trip from 19 kms to 6 kms. But, it was no easy task. He did it himself, singlehandedly, using just a hammer and a chisel for a rock 360 ft long, 25 ft high and 30 ft wide. He died a week ago and is still remembered as “the man who moved a mountain”.

Calvin

2007-08-27T23:21:00.000+05:30

I don't know why i find this terribly funny....

Check out the pic of LPHAC on the entry, The PHAC too....

Stupidest jokes in the universe

2007-08-27T15:00:00.000+05:30

Today, in class X-f of D.P.S. R. K. Puram, the dumbest jokes were going around. Horrible, irritating PJ’s were being told and heard. They’re so horrible, you feel like laughing at their stupidity and crying at their irritatingness at the same time. I found all of the jokes terribly funny and I think that the PJ telling was started by Amit, who later started making up dumb jokes himself. Soon, the whole class was telling the jokes to each other and laughing or well, being irritated.

Here are some of those “awesome” jokes

· Q: What did Tarun say to Vani?? (yes, the same girl as in the entry, “Banta bottles”)

A: “Aa takli, teri maang bharoon”

· Q: Once there was a man who had a son. On the first birthday, he asked his son, “son, what do you want for your birthday?” the son replied, “ping pong balls”. So the father gave him ping pong balls. Then on the second birthday, he asked his son, “son, what do you want for your birthday?” the son replied, “ping pong balls”. So the father gave him ping pong balls. Then on the seventh birthday, he asked his son, “son, what do you want for your birthday?” the son replied, “ping pong balls”. So the father gave him ping pong balls. Then on the thirteenth birthday, he asked his son, “son, what do you want for your birthday?” the son replied, “ping pong balls”. So the father gave him ping pong balls. Then on the eighteenth birthday, he asked his son, “son, what do you want for your birthday?” the son replied, “ping pong balls”. So the father gave him ping pong balls. Then on the fiftieth birthday, he asked his son, “son, what do you want for your birthday?” the son replied, “ping pong balls”. So the father gave him ping pong balls. Then the son had a son of his own and on the first birthday, he asked his son, “son, what do you want for your birthday?” the son replied, “ping pong balls”. So the father gave him ping pong balls. And so on… Why does each generation of this family want ping pong balls on their birthday?

A: Because they like ping pong balls

· A father asks a man, “meri beti jawan ho gayi, mein kya karun?”

A: Fauj mein bharti kar do

· Q: Two kids, Pintu and Bunty are participating in a race. Pintu runs at 10 km/h and Bunty runs at 20 km/h. Who will win the race??

A: Pintu, because Bunty was running in the opposite direction

· Q: What are you if you punch your forehead?

A: Sarpanch

· Q: A man had 6 hands. Everyone called him Hanuman. Why?

A: Because his name was Hanuman

· Q: What does a sardar say to a bald man?
A: E takle, sar dhakle

· Q: Which movie will a beggar go to watch?
A: Cash

· Q: Once a man had a son. On the day before the son’s 20^th birthday, he asked the son what he wanted for his birthday. The son said “a yellow Ferrari”. The father searched all over and couldn’t find a yellow Ferrari, so he bought him a yellow Audi instead. When the boy woke up in the morning, the father showed him the car from the window. The son was very angry that his father didn’t buy a yellow Ferrari so he committed suicide. The father had another son a few years later. On the day before the son’s 20^th birthday, he asked the son what he wanted for his birthday. The son said “a yellow Ferrari”. The father searched all over and couldn’t find a yellow Ferrari, so he bought him a white Ferrari and painted it yellow. When the boy woke up in the morning, the father showed him the car from the window. The boy ran downstairs, ran across the road and when he touched the car, the paint which was still wet, came off. The son was very angry that his father didn’t buy a yellow Ferrari so he committed suicide. The father had another son, and on the day before the son’s 20^th birthday, he asked the son what he wanted for his birthday. The son said “a yellow Ferrari”. The father searched all over and couldn’t find a yellow Ferrari, so he specially got a yellow Ferrari manufactured. When the boy woke up in the morning, the father showed him the car from the window. The boy ran downstairs, and was running across the road when a lorry ran over him and he died. What is the moral of the story?
A: Look both ways before crossing the road

· Q: Three cockroaches were sitting around. One of them began singing, “aashiq banaya, aahiq banaaya, aashiq banaaya aapne...” the other two cockroaches died. Why?
A: Because he sang a “hit” song

· Q: three lizards were sitting on a wall. One of them began singing, “aashiq banaya, aahiq banaaya, aashiq banaaya aapne...” the other two fell off the wall. Why?
A: Because they began to clap

· Q: If Anshul (a guy in our class) sings a song, which song will he sing?
A: How would I know? Go ask him….

· Q: Three kids are boasting about their dads
Kid 1: my dad is superman
Kid 2: my dad is he-man
What does kid 3 say?
A: my dad is Pokeman

· Q: a baby says “ff,ff,ff,ff”. Why?
A: f=ma

Career Counseling

2007-08-24T15:51:00.000+05:30

Career planning hasn’t helped me at all. I’m serious. It’s an important decision, and I have to make up my mind before January.

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously cannot make up my mind. I wish we didn’t have so many options, at least I wouldn’t be soooo confused.

Here’s my list of what I could or want to do:

Aviation: I would have made up my mind about civil aviation if my eyesight wasn’t weak. Its been my dream to fly and this is the closest I can get.

Medicine: I really don’t know if I want to be doctor, my dad wants me to. So, I’ve put it as an option, if I don’t make up my mind, I suppose that’s what I’ll do, though it isn’t exactly what I want.

Journalism: I’m good at writing and hat what compels e to put this in the list. Its interesting, but still not exactly what I want. Its like working behind the scenes, just your name in the paper… Being a correspondent does get you on TV, but not I want.

Psychology: I’m interested in it, but it doesn’t exactly have a bright future, not too much pay, not exactly what I want.

Photographer: I like it, but I can’t do it for too long, not too many opportunities.

I really wish my eyesight wasn’t weak. I would have done something I really want. Nice pay, I could have been the youngest woman pilot in India for a year at least…. *sniff*, my dreams are shattered….. Being a doctor isn’t what I want, I don’t think I could live through a surgery .I would have done psychology, but I want to do something better, there isn’t exactly a great demand for psychologists or high posts for them. Being a photographer is ok, but I like it more as a hobby.

Oh by the way… by the career planning thing, I’m assertive and in arena, which is quite unlike me, I am quite quiet.

In the learning style inventory, I got 43 points in column A, as an accommodator. It suggests a career in: management, business, govt. services, defence ,banking, public admin., politics etc… I don’t want to anything in any of these fields. I wonder if these group counseling sessions ever helped anyone……

I want to do something which has good pay and something I truly like. It shouldn’t be too demanding of me and if possible, allow me to travel a lot. Something which has a lot of opportunities and allows promotion, allows you to go to the highest level

"Baharon phool barsao, mera mehboob aaya hai"- The Taslima Story

2007-08-24T15:30:00.000+05:30

The line basically means, “Trees, rain flowers, my darling has arrived”, and nicely tells Taslima’s story. She is an average writer and wanted quick fame. She attacked Islam her book, Lajja or shame. She said that many practices were evil and Islam was wrong. Allegedly flower pots were thrown on her or something. It’s funny things like this should happen in a secular country like India, which has survived only because of bonds holding people of all religion together.

What the hell have people got against Islam and Muslims???

They expect us to be weird and different. Many say when they come to know I’m a Muslim, “you don’t look like one”, as if they expect me to have horns.

We harbor terrorism and train terrorists. Muslim nations are apparently full of shit. All Muslims are backward. Beware of the Muslim with a beard, he may just kill you.

People have crappy images of Muslims in their minds and immediately think of Taliban and Osama when given the equation “Beard+Muslim”. I do agree that some practices are stupid, like the purdah, but let people wear it if they want to! Girls start wearing it at a small age and don’t mind it. If anyone is forced to wear it, I understand, but if someone wants to wear the burkha, let it be, OK? If they don’t want to wear it, they’ll stop.

Each religion has some good things and some bad things, but it doesn’t make a religion wholly bad. Religion has domesticated humans and given them an aim. It has shown them a path, told them the difference between good and bad and told them to do good things, be it through the fear of god. Come on, what sort of “evil” religion would tell you to give alms to the poor, not to kill, to hurt someone, be it physically or emotionally, and to be punctual? The Koran says that no one can get away with any wrong doing and that sinners will be punished on judgement day. What sort of “evil” religion stops people from sinning?? This “evil” religion has given faith, hope, perseverance, strength, order, an aim and a LIFE to many.

Taslima, go dunk your head and ideas in shit.

Philip Pullman Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-24T15:29:00.000+05:30

Philip Pullman’s book, The Northern Lights has won the Carnegie of Carnegies. Yeah!!!! I love that guy, but I think that The Amber Spyglass is better …. This has helped Philip Pullman be more famous, as the apparently, even the losers who didn’t know about him do know now. We’re having a book fair by Scholastic in the school and mainly Philip Pullman books are up for sale. They are even having a completion about him. It has 5 questions:

1) Name the 3 books of His Dark Materials trilogy

2) Who was the king of the bears?

3) What is the name of the movie coming out in December?

4) For which book has Philip won the Carnegie of Carnegies?

5) What are the northern lights and where are they likely to occur?

My library teacher asked me to give it so I did. All answers were right!!! But I don’t think I have a chance of winning as even those people who hadn’t read the books went over to the shelves where they were selling and quietly looked up the answers.

Why didn’t I think of that???

There’s going to be a lucky draw or something to select the winner out of the correct entries. The winner will get a mini digicam. Even though it sounds nice, the picture of the digicam showed something like an irritating keychain.

Philip Pullman is an amazing writer and his books are amazingly addictive. But I don’t like the Sally Lockhart series as much as His Dark Materials. The idea is awesome and I love the characters. They surprisingly have the most unusual qualities. Lyra is big liar and tomboyish. Will loves to be inconspicuous and is subtle. Still, everyone loves the characters. I love the ending of the trilogy, even though it gets too passionate than you’d imagine it would be for 14 yr olds. I like HDM best after LOTR (lord of the rings, for the idiots who don’t know, even after the movies). And the best thing of all, the movie on the first book, The Golden Compass is releasing on my birthday, The 7^th of December!!! I already know what I’ll be doing on my birthday…

Smile

2007-08-23T15:29:00.000+05:30

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller

Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown

Start every day with a smile and get it over with. ~W.C. Fields

Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. ~Jim Beggs

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home. ~Author Unknown

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. ~Andy Rooney

If you smile at someone, they might smile back. ~Author Unknown

Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. ~Author Unknown

Everyone smiles in the same language. ~Author Unknown

If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine. ~Author Unknown

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. ~George Eliot

She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket. ~Raymond Chandler

I can’t smile when I don’t want to, I simply can’t. Not even for photos. I can’t sport fake smiles myself and hate those who wear them all the time. Yeah, I know it’s good to be happy and all, but I just don’t like fake smiles. Smiling to spread cheer is ok; you do that a bit from the heart, but when you smile to get something from others, its plain mean. I’ve seen people who support fake smiles not to show people they’re sad. That’s ok I suppose, but I hate it when they’re used. I know a girl who smiles back at everyone as if she’s happy to see them; but goes and bitches about them later. I can’t smile when I don’t want to, but I can’t until I’m really happy ,or I end up twisting my mouth in a funny way; so I usually resort to keeping my face normal. But when a smile comes from my heart, it forms nicely on my face and doesn’t look awkward at all… I just look…happy.

I can’t fake smiles, but when I’m happy inside, the smile sneaks out itself so the whole world can see it. I smile at the dumbest things in the universe and laugh when they get dumber. Insane jokes make me roar with laughter, and then, I can’t stop it. Something blooms up inside me and I can’t contain it, I feel as if I’ve achieved everything I wanted and there’s nothing to do and nowhere to go. I get this weird feeling, I feel I’m floating. This happened to me on Sunday, when I spent the whole day watching “avatar”, a show I love and I just warmed up. Then I read my favorite book, HIS DARK MATERIALS and I was so happy I was flying. Ok, these aren’t really big things to be happy at, but it’s the way I am. Lots of dumb and normal things make me smile from inside, like rain, a rainbow, a strong breeze that chills me to the bones, a sunset, the beach at night, a full moon, seeing someone I love happy ,a cute baby, lots of things. I can’t understand why I can’t smile when I want to, like when I see a person after a long time, I want to smile at him as he smiles at me, but I can’t. I look mean.

Actually, I can’t do anything when I’m not in the mood to. I can’t study, or play, or do anything. Its irritating when I need to study but I can’t put my mind to it. I’m plain impulsive, I can’t do anything until I feel for it. Some people say its good, because when I put my mind to something, I don’t stop until I finish it. I don’t know; I sometimes end up not finishing projects and homeworks on time because of this.

She

2007-08-18T14:45:00.000+05:30

She’s dead.

You must be wondering who is dead and why. It’s my aunt, my dad’s younger sister. She’s dead.

It’s pathetic, very pathetic, to see your family suffer like this. My dad has 5 brothers and sisters. She was younger than him, her name is Farzana. All the 3 sisters names rhymed, Shahana,Farzana and Rukhsana. She was the middle one and was living in Lukhnow. She was sick. I don’t know when she found out, but I found out this summer holidays. I had only been 5 days since I had come back from France when we received a call early in the morning, around 7. Usually we don’t get calls at this time and it was a bit strange. My grandmother had called. She talked to dad and mom and when they kept the phone, they looked worried. They told me my aunt was sick and in the hospital. She had been visiting Grandma in Delhi when something happened to her. I don’t know what exactly but I came to all this only by overhearing people on the phone. No one told me anything. We left that evening, I a bit reluctantly as I was sleepy and also as I didn’t know how serious the matter was. We went to the hospital where aunt was admitted. She was in the ICU. That meant things were bad. Another of my aunts (the youngest one) came to fetch us from the hospital gate and guided us to the ICU.

I remember my youngest aunt as being the liveliest, always happy and cheerful. That day, she was grim. She looked tired and bent and worried. She had rings under her eyes as if she hadn’t slept. I still hadn’t realized how serious the matter was. I wondered what was happening. When we went up, I saw almost all my aunts and uncles around. I started getting worried then. Some of them had red eyes as if they had been crying. My grandpa looked grimmer than usual. I sat down on a seat and wondered what was up. It was visiting time, so one by one my relatives trailed in to meet aunt. My mom came out in tears. My dad asked me to go too, but I refused. I feel horrible still for refusing; I didn’t know what was up and was afraid of what I’d see. I stood by as people talked and that’s when I realized that she was in the last stage of cancer. CANCER.

Shit.

I sympathized with her, but more with my relatives. Well, she is my relative but I hadn’t seen her for 6 years and didn’t even remember her face. I was afraid of what would or could happen how it would cause grief to my parents, my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. Sometimes, you can force yourself to sympathize a lot with a person because you don’t know him. I felt guilty that I didn’t. I was afraid I’d appear unemotional and strange.

We went back to grandma’s house and stayed for the night. The next day I was informed that my aunt had asked especially to meet me. Me. I went again to the hospital that evening during the visiting hours to meet her. She was pale. Very pale. Something told me that wasn’t her natural complexion. She opened her eyes a little and said my name and said salaam. She recognized me. She asked how my trip to France was if my mom was there. I replied and then didn’t know what to say. I just stood there holding her cold, shrunken and pale hand. She had a few tubes attached to her. Her hair was open and strewn across her pillow. She looked ill and undernourished. I can still remember her face.

We stayed at grandma’s for a week or so. All my relatives were there and we shared beds and slept. It would have been joyful if aunt wasn’t sick. It had been a long time since we had been like this, together. Pain bonds. I can’t deny it. I met some of my cousins after a long time. There are 9 of us, 8 were present there. We had fun, pillow fights, food sharing, playing on the comp or the xbox, dancing around, playing hide and seek in the middle of the night that all the adults snapped at us……..It was fun. We had never been like this, together, and I’m afraid we’ll never get a chance again.

My aunt died on the 6^th of august. On the 5^th night, my dad had called and asked mom to pack his bags as aunt was sick and he was going to Lucknow. He left that night and returned on the 9^th. He didn’t seem different, except that he was a bit weary. I didn’t see him the whole day. I was sitting and doing my homework when my mom, I don’t know how it started, informed me aunt had died. I was shocked. I asked her again and again to confirm she wasn’t joking and that it was the same aunt. My aunt had left for Lucknow from Delhi in June on a stretcher. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t eat. She was on glucose and food was being transferred straight to her bloodstream. Before leaving, she signaled to me to come near and said that once she was well, she’d come to fetch me and then she’d take me to Lukhnow to show her house. She believed she was going to get well. That’s what she was told. We all made plans that we’d go to nainital together, all my dads siblings and their families. She never got well.

I am terribly upset none of this happened. My dad went around saying under his breath, my sister, my poor sister till a few days ago. But I thank her for the one week she gave me to spend with my family and for bringing them together. I know she’s in heaven.

The PHAC

2007-08-10T15:28:00.000+05:30

You must be wondering who PHAC is, isn't it??
Sorry, but I can't tell you or PHAC will come and murder me. PHAC is a guy, a horrible looking, hairy guy. I and my friend hate him a lot. We were sitting together when she started drawing a picture of PHAC on the table and the picture(I have no idea why0 reminded me of bio lab specimens. So, I wrote down an experiment on PHAC on the table.
Later, I made my friend draw the picture on a piece of paper and I am also going to publish the activity. Why??? to iritate PHAC

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here it goes:

Aim: to study the germination of hair nodules on PHAC

Requirements: 1 healthy, live PHAC, oil, manure as fertilizer

Method: Place PHAC on a rotating table, apply fertlizer and oil on PHAC and leave in sun for a few days

Observation: hair grows at the rate of 17 hairs/s

Inference: PHAC is very hairy

Precautions: 1) wear gloves while handling PHAC or your hands can become hairy
2) do not apply too much oil or fertilizer or PHAC will turn into a werewolf

So.......... i finally got the picture that sampoorna drew.
Isb't he *shiver* *shiver* horrible???